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to think that Facebook really hurts?

(65 Posts)
DorothyL Tue 16-Feb-16 16:54:20

Two friends having a "long overdue" catch up, while their boys played...

I used to be included in that when the children were smaller... Now I think I don't get asked because ds has sn and can be a bit difficult


LordBrightside Tue 16-Feb-16 17:00:34

FaceTime is a good invention. Facebook though is a negative force in the world overall. It's the source of lots of hurt and fights and drama.

MidnightVelvetthe5th Tue 16-Feb-16 17:03:25

It may not be because of that. maybe both of them were out independently & happened to meet? Or they just caught one another & made a date on the spur of the moment. Perhaps they weren't intentionally excluding you?

I don't get asked anymore either as I started work & my friends are both SAHMs, its just one of those things. Don't let it upset you brew

HeyYouGetOffMyCloud Tue 16-Feb-16 17:04:42


ChickyChickyParmParm Tue 16-Feb-16 17:06:18

Why don't you hide them? You won't see their statuses then. And if they want to get in touch with you, they still can.

Better still, leave it altogether. Facebook is meant to be fun, not upsetting.

Samcro Tue 16-Feb-16 17:07:14

unfollow them or defriend

gandalf456 Tue 16-Feb-16 17:07:30

Would it be apossible to suggest a meeting without children if you think that is it?

TooAswellAlso Tue 16-Feb-16 17:08:38

I have a few people I've hidden like that. The worst is one who moaned about a mutual friend not seeing her or her child for 18 months, where as although I wasn't often I saw them a few times.

Now all invites include her back in the group and exclude me. Everything is "girlie catchup" etc etc and the photos etc. I ignore it now, I tried to keep in touch and now I won't.

It's hard, but tbh I find Facebook simply keeps a friendship going artificially a lot of the time now, ones that would have naturally fizzled out before.

gandalf456 Tue 16-Feb-16 17:09:38

Facebook friends aren't real friends. YOu'd have nothing to lose by unfollowing or deleting them if you feel badly treated.

SeaMagic Tue 16-Feb-16 17:10:00

Also agree.

FB is the work of the devil. Why do people feel the need to post their every catch up and meeting on the dratted thing?

Sorry you feel your son is being left out though OP. That must be tough.

However you wouldn't have been none the wiser if your 'friends' hadn't posted on FB. So try and ignore it if you can, wish them well but concentrate on the friends you have in your life now... the ones who get and love your DS just as he is flowers

Lovestonap Tue 16-Feb-16 17:10:57

Facebook can be incredibly painful. I used to really love it and be quite dismissive of those that weren't keen. Now I realise that if you only see pictures of people at 'their best' and statuses enumerating their darling family's luck/achievements /general satisfaction with life then one can get a distorted picture, and believe that others are 'doing' life better.

I like the fact that I can message people quickly. I like the fact that my timeline documents the happiest memories for me. I dislike the fact that it greatly increases any feelings of low self-esteem or insecurity I might be having.

So I check it rarely now, and scroll through the pictures in my phone when I want to smile (let's face it, we only really want to look at pictures of our own children no? ;))

I'm so sorry you feel left out by your friends. It might be the case that they bumped into each other and it wasn't a big planned event with you and your dc deliberately excluded, but Facebook gives us just enough information to jump to our own painful conclusions.

Hope you feel better soon.

WorraLiberty Tue 16-Feb-16 17:11:55

Facebook is not for everyone, yet it seems almost everyone has facebook.

What you describe and what tons of other people keep describing, has gone on since the year dot.

People choosing to go out with other people, people pretending they're busy but making plans with someone else, people having wonderful holidays and buying their kids wonderful Christmas presents etc.....

It's always happened, it's just nowadays you can see evidence of it and that's what tends to hurt or annoy people.

But it's just another website out there on the big internet. If what you read on it has the power to upset you, then stop giving it the power and de-activate you account.

On another note, I wish half the bloody moaners on here would de-activate theirs too grin thanks

LagunaBubbles Tue 16-Feb-16 17:14:56

It's not Facebook that hurts you - it's other people.

DorothyL Tue 16-Feb-16 17:25:13

What they went to had to be pre-booked..

U2HasTheEdge Tue 16-Feb-16 17:29:01

Facebook friends aren't real friends.

Well clearly in most cases they are. My fb friends are my real friends hmm

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt op thanks

I only have people I enjoy on my FB, if they are hurting you unfollow them.

jadorecakesnbiscuits Tue 16-Feb-16 17:31:10

I completely sympathise, over the past few weeks it's really upset me a few times in similar ways to this.

QueenofallIsee Tue 16-Feb-16 17:32:25

I am active on FB - if I see that people are having a nice time I am generally pleased that they are...they are my friends and I like them so want good things for them

The fact that someone having a nice time makes you feel shit is not really their fault or facebooks fault surely? I seriously doubt that anyone is trying to hurt you on purpose by enjoying time with their friends and doing stuff in half term

ChineseDragonLady Tue 16-Feb-16 17:36:00

Facebook is awful, it's the ideal environment if you like to be made to feel totally inadequate and to realise just how little anybody gives a monkeys about you. Unfortunately, when it's the only social interaction you have with other people, you take whatever you can get. Like gathering crumbs from the gutter if you will.

LionsLedge Tue 16-Feb-16 17:36:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fluffy40 Tue 16-Feb-16 17:37:01

I'm not on the Facebook 😁

DorothyL Tue 16-Feb-16 17:37:09

Re meeting other friends... There's only one other friend who has a son who's willing to meet up... Half term can be quite lonely!

jadorecakesnbiscuits Tue 16-Feb-16 17:39:36

And despite what people say you aren't some cackling witch sitting in the house being bitter for other people's happiness, even if sometimes it's not meant to be, it can feel like deliberate social exclusion and you question yourself or what you have done to cause or deserve it, it makes me feel lonely.

QueenofallIsee Tue 16-Feb-16 17:39:41

Guess I am a real minority then, I just don't find it so at all lions so apologies OP if I was flippant. I genuinely find that it is dead handy for sharing info, arranging nights out, getting dates for gigs, chatting with friends, communicating with various groups that I/the kids are members of etc etc.

AliceBeeblebrox Tue 16-Feb-16 17:39:54

Poor you, OP - it feels rubbish to be left out of

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Tue 16-Feb-16 17:41:16

It's not Facebook's fault that people are dickheads.

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