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To wonder why being a parent turns some people into A-holes?

(47 Posts)
AJ279 Tue 16-Feb-16 14:22:20

I've been on Facebook this morning and I have seen:

- Someone bleating on about breastfeeding and saying that if someone doesn't at least try to BF that they are failing as a parent.
- Someone saying giving a baby a dummy is lazy parenting
- Someone saying "why have a baby if you are going to dump them on someone else to go out?"
- Several people saying that no child older than 2 should be in a buggy
AND someone saying that if you had a CS you are less of a mother because you didn't actually give birth and others retaliating by saying it makes them more of a mother because they carry a scar, WTAF?!

By no means are these people my friends, it's all on silly little Facebook groups I'd liked when DD was born.

These really boil my blood. Why can people not be supportive?! "Oh you bottle feed, great! You're not putting your baby in the garden and letting them fend for themselves at mealtimes?! Well done you!"

Why do people feel the need to shame others when it comes to parenting and what is it about these people that makes them think they are perfect!!

My DD is bottle fed because she wouldn't latch, she has a dummy and God forbid she goes to grandparents houses for sleepovers every now and again because I want some wine because they enjoy having her and bonding!

AIBU to be fed up of seeing constant 'mum shaming' everywhere?! angryangryangry

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 16-Feb-16 14:24:28

Delete/Ignore FB and you won't have to read the rubbish posts.

capsium Tue 16-Feb-16 14:24:59

It's Facebook...don't look. Doesn't it hurt your eyes?

Only1scoop Tue 16-Feb-16 14:26:06

Glad I'm not on it.

If I was I'd just bin all those 'groups' and the saddo's in em'

WorraLiberty Tue 16-Feb-16 14:26:52

Happens on Mumsnet quite a lot too.

I just think people who say things like that

A) Probably aren't brave enough to say them in real life to someone's face.

B) Pointing the finger at other Mums, somehow justifies their own choices that were seen as parent failings.

AJ279 Tue 16-Feb-16 14:26:57

grin fair point- I only really have it as we have moved away from our hometown to keep in touch with friends and family. Funnily enough I don't, I just scroll through getting mad at idiots!

Owllady Tue 16-Feb-16 14:27:33

Don't worry, it all stops when they catch the bus to secondary school grin

NeedACleverNN Tue 16-Feb-16 14:28:02

Ignore them.

You could breast feed your child liquid gold whilst eating organic goats cheese and you will still be doing it wrong.

For some reason it's easier to criticise then it is to support.

I personally don't care if they are breast fed, bottle fed, natural birth or drugged up to high heaven as long as the child has been taken care off

LordBrightside Tue 16-Feb-16 14:28:08

Facebook is like mental graffiti. I abandoned it long ago. It brings out the very worst in people, especially women.

I wish I could actually deactivate the thing but when I do that it kills my Spotify!

jaxtsoldlady Tue 16-Feb-16 14:28:21

I think you will find these people were arseholes before they had children.

Murloc Tue 16-Feb-16 14:28:30

Aah, Facebook warriors. All the principles from safely behind their keyboards.

Ignore them - they'd never say it to anyone's face.

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 16-Feb-16 14:28:55

What the hell kind of company do you keep if all that is on your Facebook feed in one morning?! hmm

WorraLiberty Tue 16-Feb-16 14:29:17

Owllady do you mean there are actually secondary school children out there being forced to us public transport?? shock

Broken Britain at its worst sad

What if it rains????????????????????????

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 16-Feb-16 14:30:07

I now see it's not friends. Apologies. Just ditch the groups. Some people just love to preach their shit.

Oysterbabe Tue 16-Feb-16 14:30:46

Just leave the groups. I never see anyone say stuff like this.

NuckyT Tue 16-Feb-16 14:37:50

You could breast feed your child liquid gold whilst eating organic goats cheese and you will still be doing it wrong.

In fairness, a liquid gold diet would raise an eyebrow round our way, too....

Owllady Tue 16-Feb-16 14:38:05

Well if it rains they get rusty and you have to have another one wink

PurpleDaisies Tue 16-Feb-16 14:39:10

Unlike and unfriend. My Facebook feed is much nicer now.

WorraLiberty Tue 16-Feb-16 14:39:18

Nah, I'll stick them out on the driveway for the scrap metal man grin

NiceAcorns Tue 16-Feb-16 14:42:22

Respond to them as you have to us; you might get even more support than the haters have.

The "neglectful parents" are the silent majority!

cjt110 Tue 16-Feb-16 14:45:11

I hate the way you are meant to feel whats right and wrong. I constantly feel, because of stuff out "there" that I am failing my son when he's far from being failed. I worry about him and his development all the time, even though he's on parr with 18m old development.

The world needs less arsehole parents and more that help one another.

Owllady Tue 16-Feb-16 14:46:57


It is so much easier though when you don't have to mix with other parents. I did have 'another one' but he gets a minicab to school. I imagine I may be talked about but I don't give a fuck wink

I sound like a right antisocial sod grin

MistressDeeCee Tue 16-Feb-16 14:47:47

The vast majority of people I know aren't like that, thank God. But some people just have a need to feel important, have their 15 mins of fame. Whether that be by performance parenting inc being on the train talking aloud to their very young DC as if they're stone deaf hence whole carriage must hear, ditto shouting at their child in attention seeking fashion (I hate that, have to really refrain from bellowing at parent "how would you like to be shamed in public"), criticising other parents' choices as if they've been appointed Knower Of All Things Pertaining To Parenthood... they're just crashing bores with a great need to be seen and heard. As if becoming a parent has made them "A Somebody" and they must go out into the world and let folks know by any means necessary. Not seen it on FB tho only in real life at times. I don't care what their precious reason is for being the way they are, they're a pain in the arse to be around I don't want to know so, I simply avoid. If I did see that on FB Id hide the post and get blocking, no need to think about it beyond that

chibsortig Tue 16-Feb-16 14:49:15

There is always someone with an opinion.
I left all the facebook groups. I think its about time parents were just supportive of each other rather than all the i'm a better parent because i did whatever.
We know whats 'best' but in all fairness as long a child/baby is being fed, clothed, sleeping etc surely its all good.

Owllady Tue 16-Feb-16 14:54:57

It's no one else's business though. You aren't public property because you have had a babby
It's overwhelming enough as it is.
Just tell jobsworths to get stuffed or smile and ignore
<owllady's guide to life>
I have been upset by stuff in the past, but you aren't necessarily going to have any more in common with these people than having a child the same age.

There are some truly dreadful parents about who don't love or care for their children. Judgement should be saved for them. Life is too short for anything else

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