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I was in the wrong but blooming heck! (half term related)

(102 Posts)
Andthentherewasmum Mon 15-Feb-16 14:42:25

Firstly I'll start off by saying I was in the wrong. Get it out there from the get go.

I was queuing in a coffee shop and there was a woman in front with what I thought was three children, they all seemed to talking to each other. Woman puts in order and moves away to collect it. Woman at the till looks at me and I give her what I want to buy and hand her the cash. As I'm getting the change a man comes up annoyed and says 'my daughter was in front of you' ( child who must have been about 12 had moved away by this point). I look around say (really nicely) I'm so sorry I thought she was with the lady in front' I collect my change and go over and speak to them (they are literally sat right by the till). I say to the girl and her father I'm really sorry I thought you were with the lady in front. Why don't you go now there's no one there. Dad is placated and wind is out of his sails and joins in saying why don't you go now. We are both being nice and encouraging.

The girl (I kid you not) is sat there arms folded, lip out, refusing to speak, proper tantrum posture. Think Veronica Salt.

Aibu to think that 12ish is a bit old for this sort of behaviour? I was wrong I apologised but clearly it wasn't enough for this kid!

There's no way she was younger than this, she might have been older in fact.

I actually walked away feeling a bit baffled. I'm sure my parents would not have allowed me to sulk like that at that age. My friend's children who are the same age don't behave like that. Have I been leading a sheltered life???

Such a small incident but got me thinking!

NickNacks Mon 15-Feb-16 14:44:27

She was embarrassed.

cariadlet Mon 15-Feb-16 14:47:42

If you'd deliberately queue jumped, because you thought that adults take precedence over children then you would have been in the wrong.

As it was a genuine mistake and you dealt with it very nicely (which the dad clearly recognised) then you have done nothing wrong at all.

My 13 year old dd has sulks and strops like this at home, but never in public. I would have been mortified if she'd sulked like that as a little kid. I certainly wouldn't put up with it from a 12 or 13 year old.

Andthentherewasmum Mon 15-Feb-16 14:49:07

I did think initially there was an element of embarrassment which is why i was apologising and trying to be nice but to be honest the behaviour was way beyond embarrassment, it was proper sulking. Lip was properly out and arms folded.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Mon 15-Feb-16 14:50:00

Yanbu you made a mistake and apologised to parent and child, that should've been the end of it.

DoreenLethal Mon 15-Feb-16 14:50:26

Veruca Salt?

CooPie10 Mon 15-Feb-16 14:51:29

She seemed a bit precious with a bad attitude. You made a genuine mistake and apologised twice.

Andthentherewasmum Mon 15-Feb-16 14:52:08

No deliberate queue jumping! I genuinely thought she was with the woman in front as the kids were talking to each other. I don't at all believe adults take precedent over kids in queues.

Andthentherewasmum Mon 15-Feb-16 14:53:07

Doreen you are quite right Veruca not veronica!

Meeep Mon 15-Feb-16 14:54:11

Maybe pay more attention to children in queues in future, I remember being a child with people pushing in.

SoupDragon Mon 15-Feb-16 14:56:52

Do you remember ever making a mistake before, Meeep? I'm guessing not.

ZiggyFartdust Mon 15-Feb-16 14:57:08

She might have been trying not to cry. But she's 12, whats your excuse for this?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Mon 15-Feb-16 14:58:09

You jumped the queue accidentally. You said sorry. That was or rather should have been enough. It's not the child's fault though. She's learing from the best her father who seems to throw enough strops of his own, so if that's the example she's being shown. It's no wonder she's creating wowfully. The world is in turmoil and hes worrying about a fuckin queue.

breezydoesit Mon 15-Feb-16 14:58:24

meeep hmm really? The OP sounds like it was a genuine mistake.

Do you ever get nose bleeds up there on your high horse?

GruntledOne Mon 15-Feb-16 14:58:56

The poor kid probably felt really awkward. I remember only too well being that age and all the crippling social uncertainty around it. She'd probably psyched herself up to go and order, she was all ready to do so, the assistant ignored her and you, entirely innocently, didn't put the assistant right; she didn't know what to do, didn't feel brave enough to say it was her turn, eventually felt so embarrassed that she left the queue. She may well have been looking like that because she was desperately trying not to cry.

Maudofallhopefulness Mon 15-Feb-16 14:59:21

Well it's a life lesson in the need for polite assertiveness for the girl then. Not your fault.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Mon 15-Feb-16 14:59:47

Meep. Get out of the wrong side of the bed did we this morning.

Witchend Mon 15-Feb-16 14:59:58

You don't know what the situation is, and why she was upset. Could be she hates doing the ordering and her dad got her to do it to encourage her that it wasn't too bad. And the incident was just what she dreaded.
Could be her dad was giving her a hard time because she walked away, and she was cross at him.
It could be in the third shop today this had happened...
My point is she isn't necessarily overreacting over your part.

Sparklingbrook Mon 15-Feb-16 15:00:46

The cashier is a bit to blame too for not asking the children if they were with the first woman, and just looking to the next adult in the queue.

DS1 (v shy) got queue jumped all the time by adults when he was younger. DS2 stuck up for himself and had no qualms about saying he was next.

The girl could have explained she was next to the cashier if she really wanted to.

ImperialBlether Mon 15-Feb-16 15:01:09

I don't understand. When the woman in front of you moved away, you were next in line, weren't you? Where was the girl?

gandalf456 Mon 15-Feb-16 15:01:28

Mine saves her strops for home but they can be a pita at that age in that they regress. The dad might have saved dealing with her at home hopefully too

ZiggyFartdust Mon 15-Feb-16 15:02:38

Also, you don't know she was 12. It's very hard to guess ages, she could be a couple of years younger.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 15-Feb-16 15:02:52

REally? You needed to post about this? Gosh!

BillSykesDog Mon 15-Feb-16 15:03:57

She was a young teenager. Everything is mortifying at that age. I don't see why you're bothered about it, no biggie. Let it go, and just be thankful you're not a teenager anymore.

SquidgeyMidgey Mon 15-Feb-16 15:05:05

Awkward teen moment? Don't let it bother you, she will survive and so will you.

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