H who i recently separated from sent this valentines video

[Theladyloriana]

I wonder what others think of this? I think it is making permissible being deeply unkind in a relationship. Or have I got the wrong end of the stick and I'm being u?

[OurBlanche]

Whatever his intentions, aren't you just delighted to have got rid of him?

But yes, that is quite a video... please don't blame me for having been unpleasant, it was only because I loved you bestest!

Bless him, with a big stick

[AnyFucker]

he's a creepy fucker, isn't he ?

[Fairenuff]

It's a load of rubbish. It tries to excuse mistreatment of people we claim to love.

[Fairenuff]

Was this supposed to be a valentnes gift?

[DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow]

I got 1 minute in before I was bored as shit.

Whatever the message in the video, be grateful that you're rid of a gobshite who can't communicate like a normal person.

[Theladyloriana]

It is weird isn't it. That's not normal in a relationship is it?

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

Is he trying to say that his way of showing love is to start fights and generally be critical and nasty?
I agree with OurBlanche I also bet you're delighted to be rid of him.

[DoreenLethal]

No - that truly is a video that excuses despicable behaviour.

Dig deep enough and there is an excuse for everything on the internet. It just depends on your search options.

[Fairenuff]

No, not normal. Make sure you stay separated he sounds awful.

[Theladyloriana]

Good points all. I wondered what he put in?! So not how others behave in relationships then?

[OurBlanche]

Ooh, MaryZ. That doesn't really bear thinking about

[Sighing]

Either forgiving his own actions "because he loved you/ still does" OR he's "forgiving" your anger because he's suggesting you are still in love with him (rather than recognising his culpability).
Gross.

[DoreenLethal]

So not how others behave in relationships then?

No.

We have a moan about other people, then laugh about them being and then are nice to each other. If one of us has had a bad day and neither has the energy to cook, the other will go get a takeout.

We never shout, holler or abuse each other. Because we have mutual respect and love. We buy each other things we think the other might like. We look after each other if they are ill.

[Fairenuff]

No, dh and I don't get angry with each other because of something someone else said or did. We do talk it over and offer each other a friendly ear.

[TheoriginalLEM]

Phew, thank god you got rid of that twat

[acasualobserver]

I thought the video contained some truths about the way relationships work. However, it's pretty clear that your ex sent it as some sort of weird rhetorical device. Perhaps he wanted to normalise the conflict in your relationship and/or excuse his part in it.

[Lynnm63]

Wow...what a catch. How did you let him slip through your fingers.
I guess he's sent you the perfect present just in case you were second guessing your decision to be separated he sends you this and now you have gold plated proof he's a dick.

[DoreenLethal]

I thought the video contained some truths about the way relationships work.

Which ways in particular?

[bakeoffcake]

I bet you're so glad you got rid of him. What a nasty, creepy fucker.

[StuffEverywhere]

Creepy.

[Ididnthearanything]

Jee what a peach.
So the fact that I shout at H is evidence of our attachment??
Maybe, if I were a TODDLER! FFfs.

It must be a relief to be separating.

[acasualobserver]

Doreen

For instance, "We exaggerate our partner's powers."

[DoreenLethal]

Do we?