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How can I play this down? Work-related

(5 Posts)
Llamame Mon 15-Feb-16 00:39:03

Basically I had a job offer last year for a large company, dependent on results achieved in upcoming exams.

I was in the final year of further study but had a really awful year in many ways (just completely lost sight of the end goal, gave up essentially) and had a huge crisis of confidence. I would definitely argue that there were elements of depression and anxiety involved in the mix too. I was previously achieving good marks and am still on target to achieve these overall but have had to take another year to achieve this. Ok. Now will be taking an extra year to finish off my studies and complete qualification.

The company have been understanding about this and kindly renewed my offer, but for obvious reasons I haven't really gone into exactly why I will be taking extra time to finish my study. Just felt the reasons were quite personal and, if I'm honest, was concerned about how they would be received.

My go-to line about my "lost year" is illness but I try to gloss over it to be honest so as not to be seen as actively lying. I have got back in touch with a very good friend who works at the company and she has asked what the illness was (I totally get why, we are good friends and she is just being caring).

I don't know what to say though. Hoping I haven't dug a massive hole for myself! What is the best way to explain my time out, going forward??

(My official line to the company BTW has been difficult personal reasons which I think suffices. But if people conversationally ask about it, I'm not really sure what to say without going in heavy!)

whatdoIget Mon 15-Feb-16 01:06:34

I'm in a similar situation and I've just said 'I had loads of personal stuff going on' if they pressed me, which no one did, I was planning to say 'it's a looong and boring story' and then smile and silently dare them to ask any more questions!! Most people aren't that interested, I've realised, and no one has been rude enough to try and interrogate me.
I've also realised that I'm by no means the only one to have needed extra time.
I felt really ashamed at first, but I don't feel that now, and everyone I've spoken to has been really supportive and kind.

MattDillonsPants Mon 15-Feb-16 01:13:49

I would agree with Whatdoiget and say "Oh it's past history now and I'd rather forget all about it." and smile.

Nothing to do with her. I'd never ask the question and think that it's a bit rude really. If you wanted to share then you would.

AlpacaMyThings Mon 15-Feb-16 08:50:04

I would describe it as a difficult and personal year, it wouldn't be appropriate to discuss it now. You are now focusing on the future.(even if you aren't!!!).

Be positive and assertive - it isn't anyone's business why or what happened and you are within your rights not to share with anyone.

daisychain01 Mon 15-Feb-16 09:11:16

Yy to a general consistent broken record message. Don't be tempted to embellish any details nor be drawn on exactly what the illness was.

It is very plausible to say "it's behind me I would really prefer to move forward positively because it has taken all my strength to get to where I am"

No matter how close or caring your friend is don't feel obliged to disclose. Some things can remain personal and if they are still genuine friends do they won't keep digging.

Part time study when working takes massive doses of courage determination and organisation. Thankfully your employer values you and recognises your sacrifices Good luck!

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