I need help here. My cousin and I are very close, he's like a brother to me. Lets call his wife my CiL, we also generally get on incredibly well and are very close (Xmas, birthdays together etc) she says we're sisters - that sort of close. Anyway I have a DD 2 and a DS 4m. C & CiL were there for us so much when DD was born and little and are really close to her too, she adores them. Since they had a DD of their own (just 10mths old) I noticed something about my CiL- she shouts and snaps at her own DD constantly. And I mean shouts loudly. The kid is as good as gold, never makes a peep, not grabby or anything, CiL has just always seemed really impatient with her. Then she started on my DD. Don't get me wrong I'm not a picture of patience 100% of the time but I do try to practice gentle parenting. DD is very clever and very spirited, not violent or nasty just on the go all day every day, knows what she wants, thinks she's 22...that kind of spirited. She's exactly like me and I was shouted at and smacked regularly as a child. It didn't work and simply resulted in an 18 year power struggle between my mum and I until I left for uni with a sigh of relief and some quite negative feelings about my parents. I don't want that for my daughter and I. So CiL comes round with C the other day to stay the weekend. My DD is wandering round, playing with her toys and CiL is on her case immediately, "DD be careful of My DD!" "DD SHARE that" "DD, play NICELY please" "DD say thank you to my DD". I was so over it that I took DD to another room to play as she couldn't do anything without getting barked at. CiL came in to the room we were in and carried on at my DD in the same manner "be CAREFUL my DD is just a baby!" (Walking past her not even close to her) "don't climb on that!" (A beanbag) Etc etc. Again I took DD away, I was really angry by this point but not saying anything. Then my C came in and says that CiL had told him I was being moody and rude and that they were leaving. A row erupted where I basically said "stop disciplining her when she's not doing anything" and they stormed out. They haven't spoken to me since. I sent them a long message explaining about gentle parenting and what I was thinking when I was appearing moody. Nothing. Won't answer my calls either.
Please help! Am I in the wrong here? I'm bewildered!
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AIBU?
Help! I've had a massive row with my family and I need to know if IABU
95 replies
noodlesareyummy · 14/02/2016 20:30
OP posts:
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