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To be upset by this valentines card message

(119 Posts)
WineIsMyMainVice Sun 14-Feb-16 10:55:06

Bit of background. Me and DH not been getting on too well recently. Hopefully it's just a bad patch, but the pressure of two DC under 3, some money problems and general life stuff etc means that we've been arguing lot more. We've been talking though.
We don't usually do much for valentines, but always exchange cards and maybe have a nice meal etc.
DH gave me a lovely card this morning, and this is what he'd written in it:
"Dear Wine,
You are beautiful, funny, caring and smart and I do actually love you a whole lot."
Is it me? Lovely message, but the use of the word actually. AAIBU? I really want to know if I've been over sensitive.

MattDillonsPants Sun 14-Feb-16 10:56:18

I think YABU. He's written it as he'd speak it...he was trying to convince you.

I know what you're thinking...that it was defensive...but I think you're reading too much into it.

hilbil21 Sun 14-Feb-16 10:56:26

You are being over sensitive. I think he's just acknowledging things have been hard and he's probably not shown he loves you but he "actually" does X.

Madnson Sun 14-Feb-16 10:57:10

Agree with above, YABU

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Sun 14-Feb-16 10:57:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

froggyjump Sun 14-Feb-16 10:57:32

surely it means 'despite the rough time we have been having lately, I do really love you' doesn't it? That's how I would read it

2plus1plusL1 Sun 14-Feb-16 10:57:46

I think it's just an acknowledgement that it's been less than ideal recently but despite everything he does love you - I don't think you should read anything more than that into it.

BolshierAryaStark Sun 14-Feb-16 10:57:48

Really!? Definitely over sensitive.

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 14-Feb-16 10:58:43

YABU, he's saying 'you may not always feel it because it's been hard lately, but I love you lots'

Thoughtful I think.

2plus1plusL1 Sun 14-Feb-16 10:58:44

I'm clearly a bit of a slower typer-there were no messages when I started!

thistlescot Sun 14-Feb-16 10:58:57

The first thing I thought was that it was in there to make it rhyme better, so my initial thought would be that it's a lovely message and take it as that rather than read something negative into it.

pudcat Sun 14-Feb-16 10:59:04

In spite of all your arguments he is saying he still loves you, and has said some wonderful things to you in that message.

GruntledOne Sun 14-Feb-16 10:59:40

Absolutely what IAmPissed said. I think it's a lovely message.

thistlescot Sun 14-Feb-16 10:59:48

2plus1plus L1 me too!

hooliodancer Sun 14-Feb-16 10:59:55

It's a lovely message, very real. He means he actually loves you, not just fake valentines day love. I found it rather moving.

Doublebubblebubble Sun 14-Feb-16 11:00:06

Yup sorry op. Yabu. actually is one of those words, like quite (I actually like you, you're quite pretty etc) that get peoples backs up - even when the person saying it means well..

ilovesooty Sun 14-Feb-16 11:00:42

I think it's a thoughtful and honest message.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 14-Feb-16 11:03:37

This is one of those ones where it's actually good to get a unanimous YABU. But yes, YABU from me too. Why do you think they called it Love Actually wink

BrianCoxReborn Sun 14-Feb-16 11:04:29

I think, on this occasion, the OP of an AIBU will be relieved by the resounding opinion they are, in fact, BU.

It's a nice message. It wasn't meant any other way than "I do love you, actually, even though things are a bit shit right now"

BlueJug Sun 14-Feb-16 11:04:53

You are very lucky. It is lovely. Don't spoil i by thinking too much about it - just love him back.

BrianCoxReborn Sun 14-Feb-16 11:04:57

Xpost with jesus

BlueMoonRising Sun 14-Feb-16 11:05:57

I'd be more concerned that he is declaring his love to alcohol, personally.. (sorry..)

YABU. He is trying clumsily to say that despite everything you guys have been going through, he loves you.

NoahVale Sun 14-Feb-16 11:06:30

I thought he was genuinely addressing it to a wine bottle, first.

then, I clocked your name.
but the message itself is really lovely.

Katenka Sun 14-Feb-16 11:08:56

Yabu. Do you usually look for something negative in things?

FishWithABicycle Sun 14-Feb-16 11:10:53

Yes you're being oversensitive. He sounds like he's an OK bloke despite the current rough patch. The pressure of two DC under 3, some money problems and general life stuff such as you describe would make even the most star-struck of lovers squabble. Hang on in there you will be OK.

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