Just that, really.
DS is nearly 4, really lovely kid, but hard work as all kids are. He's quite shy, needs a lot of reassurances when confronted with new situations. He's an 'observer' rather than a 'participator' by preference. He gets easily downhearted and put off tasks if he can't do them easily, & is - don't want to write a 'push-over', it's not quite what I'm grasping for - easily jostled aside with more assertive peers...? This can upset him, he can be a bit emotionally fragile, it can 'ruin' his play. I work on confidence with him, and having started pre-school, things have improved exponentially.
However.
Whenever I discuss this with DH, or family, or even very very generally with friends, I get the stock: 'it's because he's an only child'; 'if he had a sibling, he wouldn't be so precious'; and my favourite 'he needs a brother or sister to play with'. 🙄
If I had a quid for every comment of how selfish I am for not 'giving' him a sibling, or how 'lonely' he is without a sibling, I wouldn't have to buy the cheapish plonk I drink.
He has kind of ended up being an only child by a degree of default. DH is pretty much infertile, his sperm count is very, very low, and not the greatest quality. We therefore had IVF, and were damn lucky, not only to have it on the NHS, but to have DS.
During my pregnancy, DH went off the rails & wanted out of the relationship. It was absolutely horrendous. This continued for the first few months of DSs life. Things were patched together, but that, coupled with some eye-wateringly awful PND, a diagnosis of an anxiety disorder & subsequent SSRIs for nearly 2 years has left me with a couple of mild hurt, rage & fury issues. I am better. I am. But I'm not healed.
I work FT, as does DH. The nature of his job means he is out the house early & home late-ish. He also works some evenings & weekends. The bulk of the childcare falls to me. I do 80% of school drop offs and near-as-damnit 100% school pick-ups. I do the majority of the domestic work; it's not that DH won't do it, he just doesn't think to & will if I ask. But I don't want to ask, he's not to do it for me, but simply because it fucking needs doing.
I should add that he is a fabulous Dad, and he & DS have a great relationship.
The subject came up again last night. DH would like another child. He would like a sibling for DS. His parents are fairly vocal about their desire for another grandchild (you're selfish Cheezy, he's lonely Cheezy, you're not being fair to him Cheezy 🙄) despite having a total of 3, thanks to H's brother.
I am now early 40s. We would require IVF that we world have to (of course) pay for. He was an utter (self-confessed) grade A cunt during my last pregnancy. I already work FT & do the majority of domestic tasks & 'wife work'; I don't see that scenario changing with another, if notoriously tricky IVF-in-the-over-40s works.
AIBU to not want another?
AIBU?
to not want another child
CheezyDibblez · 13/02/2016 17:31
Errrr no!!! Even without all the reasons you state if you don't want another child, that is reason enough!!!
I never understand the "you're selfish" argument about not having more than one child. But maybe that's because I sometimes forget I have a sibling as we are not in the slightest bit close!!! Not done me any harm, we're just very different people!
What do your PILs/SIL say when you tell them what a twat your DH was (do they know?) if not, they should!!!
Not that it's any of their business if or why you do or don't have another baby, not your responsibility to provide them with grandchildren, tell them to get a puppy!!! 
Tell them all to fuck off 
Honestly, people are so bloody insensitive
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