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To ask guests to contribute to my wedding?

(550 Posts)

Please give your honest thoughts on what you would think to receiving this in a wedding invitation.

Along with saying yes or no to coming, and whether you have any special dietary requirements, it has a bit saying that all drinks on the day/evening will be free, with a small contribution request, on the return of the invitation. Childrend drinks are free so no contribution required: non alcohol drinking adults £5, alcohol drinking adults £10.

SharkBastard Sat 13-Feb-16 08:51:37

So an entrance fee to your wedding :/

Choughed Sat 13-Feb-16 08:52:15

It's a little odd to me. Why don't you just charge for drinks after a certain time?

OwlinaTree Sat 13-Feb-16 08:52:40

That sounds fine to me, most weddings have a bar and you have to pay for drinks, I'd spend a lot more than £10!

Savagebeauty Sat 13-Feb-16 08:52:42

Sorry I think that's incredibly tight.

ovenchips Sat 13-Feb-16 08:52:48

If I am honest it would make me huff and puff. I would rather have a pay bar.

SellFridges Sat 13-Feb-16 08:53:24

That's weird. I have been to weddings which have had a (charity) honesty box. Perhaps you could dispose of the charity element of you really had to.

Otherwise I don't know how your idea would work. Will you dish out wristbands like they do at all inclusive resorts?

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Sat 13-Feb-16 08:53:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sat 13-Feb-16 08:54:08

I would cringe so badly. A wedding is your day;.guests should not be expected to pay for it. Yabu and I think you'd lose guests by doing so.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Sat 13-Feb-16 08:54:35

No you cannot charge guests to attend your wedding. You are the HOST of your wedding, which means you pay.

x2boys Sat 13-Feb-16 08:54:44

Tight savage ? If you were to go 5o a reception in s hotel drinks would cost a damn sight more than £10.

JizzyStradlin Sat 13-Feb-16 08:55:13

No, just have a paid bar and/or ask for cash. Which makes MN go twitchy, but in the real world is increasingly common even in the Anglo world and the norm in many cultures outside it.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Sat 13-Feb-16 08:55:22

No i don't think you can do this. It's just seems really rude. Far better to have some money behind the bar so everyone can have a couple of free drinks but pay for additional drinks after that if they want to.

derektheladyhamster Sat 13-Feb-16 08:55:27

I'd think it was good value, but its not really wedding etiquette.

How many guests? I think I'd stump up the extra grand

FoxesSitOnBoxes Sat 13-Feb-16 08:55:27

My gut reaction is no. i don't think you can say that all drinks are free and then charge people for them. No.
Also £5 on non-alcoholic drinks per person seems a huge amount. What are you providing that costs that much per person?

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Sat 13-Feb-16 08:55:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Daryan Sat 13-Feb-16 08:55:49

If you can't afford a wedding, change your expectations or save up more. Do not ask people to pay for it for you.

Katenka Sat 13-Feb-16 08:56:05

And what if people don't pay?

Honestly I think this is an awful idea.

I get that people would pay more if it wasn't a free bar. But this doesn't sit right with me.

It's not a free bar. It's a subsidised bar.

I have seen weddings that will put a set amount behind the bar and when it's gone people have to buy their own.

Maybe you could do that if finances are a problem.

dulcefarniente Sat 13-Feb-16 08:56:08

Seems a bit weird tbh. Are you going to police it? If you can't afford a free bar save yourself the hassle and just let guests buy their own drinks.

GissASquizz Sat 13-Feb-16 08:56:28

Don't do it.

TattieHowkerz Sat 13-Feb-16 08:56:28

No. Better to have first drink or two free, then a pay bar.

MonkeyPJs Sat 13-Feb-16 08:56:38

I just wouldn't have an open bar rather than charge people in advance.

It's odd to me as some people would drink a lot, and others wouldn't.

Why not just allow for everyone to have say 3 free drinks then pay after that - that way at least the cost will fall on the people who are actually drinking

AuldYow Sat 13-Feb-16 08:57:28

Gosh, there's no way I could charge an entrance fee to a wedding. Also some adults may drink a couple of glasses others their body weight in alcohol.

It's either a free bar all day or the traditional couple of glasses plus toast with meal then buy your own.

BubsandMoo Sat 13-Feb-16 08:57:33

Why not just have a pay bar instead, provide wine on the tables, soft drinks free, if people want other alcoholic drinks they can buy them. Or free bar until 10 or something. Just seems a lot more acceptable and straightforward. Also how are you going to police if people only paid £5 but then decide they want a drink on the night? What if people turn up and haven't put their tenner in the kitty, are you going to enforce water on them all night?

Just seems a lot of hassle.

JasperDamerel Sat 13-Feb-16 08:57:52

If your budget is that tight, I would either scale down the event, go with a pay bar or serve soft drinks and ask guests to bring a bottle if they want alcohol.

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