I had a baby 6 months ago and I feel guilty for saying this but I'm bored out of my mind. All I do every day is look after a child. My baby has bad reflux and allergies and I spend all day covered in sick, he won't nap in the day so I don't get a break. Everything's a mess, I can't get anything done, I have to be watching him all the time. I took my eye off him for 10 seconds today and he fell off the bed.
I love my son but I feel so isolated. I don't have a job at the moment and have no childcare so I can't go back to work yet hardly any of my friends have kids and I feel guilty for wanting to do something else. I feel like a failure of a mother, as what sort of shitty parent doesn't want to be a SAHM? I shouldn't feel like this, I should enjoy every second together and loathe having to do anything else!
I'm very introverted and miss my books, gaming, watching Netflix, I love writing but never get time to do it...I've never been good with structure, I'm someone who likes to wake up and decide to go on a trip or buy random matinee tickets or go to the beach. I can't do that now, every day is the same, day in day out. I can't take it. I do go to a group which is nice but I miss other things. Before I'd go to the library for hours and just read, or sit in a coffee shop sketching it's little things like that. I feel like I've lost who I am
I feel like my child deserves better than me, someone who clearly is a crap mother. I have no idea what I'm looking for here, just needed to rant. I was told I have mild PND but I don't think this is that. Thought about NC but cannot be bothered. Thanks for reading.
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To feel like this? I feel guilty and awful
88 replies
TheCatsMeow · 12/02/2016 17:09
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