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MIL highjacking mini break

(315 Posts)
CowPatRoberts Fri 12-Feb-16 16:14:20

Long post, buckle up.

Myself and DP have been saving up for a long weekend away in Scotland at the end of March, bit of context but we’ve both started new jobs in the last 6 months which have really reduced our time together so this was something we’ve been looking forward to.

DP had the great idea of booking an apartment that he and his family have visited on a number of occasions, he’s familiar with the owners and it really fits all our requirements. As his parents’ place is on the way he called them last week to let them know we’d be in the area and that we’d love to drop in. They chatted for a while, made plans- great!

Then Monday evening I received an email from DSIL asking if the pool(??) was going to be available because if so she’d need a new costume. I assumed it was a mistake- I was wrong.

Apparently DMIL had thought about mine and DP’s trip over the weekend and realised it would make a brilliant family getaway! She called her parents, her brother, DSIL and DBIL to make sure they and all their kids were free to come along. She then called us (apparently to tell us about the sudden influx of mad relatives) after she spoke to all of the family on Sunday, but we missed the call and when we tried to call back they’d gone to bed.

The next day she called the family who owns the apartment and asked to cancel the reservation for our 2 bed place we’d reserved, so they could instead rent out one of the larger properties on offer- a 6 bed house with an indoor pool. They’ve used this place in the past for family parties etc so the owners assumed everything was agreed with us and happily switched the reservation for them.

So the first I hear about it is when the owners of the property call me up to ask if I’d like a refund for the other property or whether I wanted it applying to the new booking. DP called his DM Wednesday evening and was told “If you’d answered the phone Sunday night we would have told you then but it’s too late to change now!”

He told her that this was supposed to be a romantic getaway and we’d be delighted to organise a trip away with everyone another time, and again she answered that we should have gotten back to her on Sunday as it’s all paid for now and everyone booked time off on Monday.

They’ve been going round and round with this since then. When he brought up she had not asked us before planning she claimed “I didn’t know I needed to ask, I thought you cared about family and would be HAPPY to spend time with us…other people would kill for an opportunity like this…Grandma is getting old and this may be our last chance etc”

We’ve talked about just giving in and planning another romantic getaway for another time but we also don’t want to send a message that this is acceptable behaviour. WIBU to tell her to stuff her family getaway and use the money to bugger off abroad?

PolovesTubbyCustard Fri 12-Feb-16 16:16:24

Wow! I don't know what to say to that.

But MIL is being VVVU! shock

Gazelda Fri 12-Feb-16 16:17:25

let her have her family get together. but you and DP go elsewhere.

CowPatRoberts Fri 12-Feb-16 16:17:25

I'm furious!

Usually MIL is fairly decent, just occasionally completely fucking bananas.

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Feb-16 16:17:31

Have you been refunded the money for your trip? They had no right to transfer your deposit on someone else's say so!

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Feb-16 16:18:28

Sorry misread, so your mil is willing to pay for everything?

CruCru Fri 12-Feb-16 16:18:47

If you aren't happy then cancel and do something else. You don't need to make a big deal out of it - they'll get the message.

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Fri 12-Feb-16 16:18:48

Ywnbu to plan an alternative weekend and not go to 'hers. She's a fucking idiot.

LordBrightside Fri 12-Feb-16 16:18:52

MIL is a psycho. Tell her to fuck off.

bibbitybobbityyhat Fri 12-Feb-16 16:18:59


MaybeIAmJustNotReasonable Fri 12-Feb-16 16:19:10

Id be fuming. But if MIL is paying and you can get your money back, could you organise another get away and not tell your PILs about it?

OttiliaVonBCup Fri 12-Feb-16 16:19:38

She's completely out of order, I would say.

WaitingForMe Fri 12-Feb-16 16:19:47

Take the offered refund and go somewhere else. If you go along with it you'll be setting a precedent.

ingeniousidiot Fri 12-Feb-16 16:20:11

YANBU - I'd be going elsewhere, it's not what you wanted, or what you arranged to do. No.

Purplepicnic Fri 12-Feb-16 16:21:20

Get the refund and go somewhere else with DH.

MadamDeathstare Fri 12-Feb-16 16:21:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nokidshere Fri 12-Feb-16 16:21:34

Just get a refund and book somewhere else. Preferably not in Scotland anywhere!

And the owner of the property had no right to change your booking on someone else's say so.

GloriaHotcakes Fri 12-Feb-16 16:22:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honeysucklejasmine Fri 12-Feb-16 16:22:46

Go somewhere else.

I would be fuming.

Cocolepew Fri 12-Feb-16 16:22:54

Fucking hell! Get the money back and go somewhere else. Dont tell them then say if they had been in a day they would have known.

stiffstink Fri 12-Feb-16 16:22:56

Fuck that! Tell the apartment owners that your reservation stands, you haven't cancelled it. Let MIL deal with her own booking, including paying for it. Do not engage in negotiations - you are going on your trip, not theirs.

Ohfourfoxache Fri 12-Feb-16 16:23:20

Definitely get a refund and go elsewhere. I'd be fucking fuming iiwy angry

Whatever you do, don't do the family break - it will make her think her behaviour is acceptable.

MrsNippyCat Fri 12-Feb-16 16:23:25

Get the refund and go somewhere else, ideally the opposite direction to MIL.

How rude of her!

nokidshere Fri 12-Feb-16 16:24:27

Oh and I would stick to the same weekend. Don't make excuses. Just say you are booked elsewhere

GummyBunting Fri 12-Feb-16 16:26:35

Get the money back and go elsewhere. And have a serious word with the owners, changing the booking without your say-so was not on.

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