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to be shocked about university students on sugar daddy type websites

(137 Posts)
wintersocks Thu 11-Feb-16 15:36:23

In the recent news reports - and amount of students doing it. It seems from the numbers they're talking about that this sort of thing has been normalised. I'd be horrified if dd did it at university tbh. But nobody seems especially upset does that mean this sort of thing will continue or get worse?

Sidge Thu 11-Feb-16 15:39:57

I hope it doesn't become normalised.

It's just prostitution by another name really isn't it? sad

MephistophelesApprentice Thu 11-Feb-16 15:40:52

As long as this option is also available to male students, I don't see much of a problem with it.

Neveradullm0ment Thu 11-Feb-16 15:44:31

It is prostitution, by the looks of the coverage it's not just about paying tuition fees, it's about being able to buy a designer bag. Why can't students just buy clothes at Camden Market/charity shops like we used to do wink

AlwaysHopeful1 Thu 11-Feb-16 15:44:33

I watched a documentary a while ago, where apparently this is quite common. I think because there's very little sex or it's not expected therefore not seen as prostitution or escorting that's why it seems more 'acceptable'. The girls on the documentary were quite open about it too, shocking.

OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer Thu 11-Feb-16 15:46:58

i was shocked by the (apparently true) reports that Dutch driving teachers can offer lessons in exchange for sex www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/netherlands/12059110/Driving-instructors-may-offer-lessons-in-return-for-sex-Netherlands-government-confirms.html

It's not exactly the point, but apart from anything else how do they tax it?

<mind boggled>

Neveradullm0ment Thu 11-Feb-16 15:53:01

I thought the point of getting a university education was - and I am being very 'rose-tinted glasses' here - about being independent, self reliant, and (the feminist in me also says) not having to rely on someone else financially. Doesn't really bode off to a great start does it. Yes it's not great students have to get into debt, but in some parts of the world there are no schools, let alone universities. If my children did this, I would question why they are at university at all.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 11-Feb-16 15:59:02

Yes it's prostitution

Just another way to exploit young women in our capitalist society sad

It's not new, when I was at uni 27 years ago someone I knew in the rugby team used to do hand jobs for pints of snakebite and black

OfaFrenchmind2 Thu 11-Feb-16 16:00:34

Ah. Students...Indeed.

Katenka Thu 11-Feb-16 16:03:14

I know someone who did this in the early minted. He carried on bei an escort for several years after.

It's not a new thing. There are escorts of all ages. I am not comfortable with it but don't find it any more shocking because they are students.

Daryan Thu 11-Feb-16 16:06:08

What I don't get is that they all insist there's no sex, which means either a) they're lying, or b) there's lots of blokes who want to spend thousands of pounds taking a teenager to dinner.

This has been a thing in Japan for a long time, enjo-kosai, 'compensated dating', whereby the girls would again provide 'companionship' and apparently no sex in exchange for money and gifts. It looks like the sex component is becoming either more widespread or more acknowledged, as they're starting to clamp down on it and consider it child prostitution, where the girls were underage. It's not uncommon in other parts of Asia either.

VikingLady Thu 11-Feb-16 16:08:01

I'd have done it in my final year. I couldn't find a pt job and was freely told by employers that they'd prefer a first year, to save rerecruiting in a few months time. My parents gave me the legal minimum but didn't pay my fees (that's how it worked the first year of tuition fees) so in effect I didn't get anything from them at all. Student loan was just under £3k p.a. and rent was £2,500. So I lived on a tenner a week for food, bills -everything.

What would you do?

LemonySmithit Thu 11-Feb-16 16:15:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Thu 11-Feb-16 16:18:02

ha you mean the DM

and given its the "oldest profession in the world" I aint losing no sleep over them

and as for someone I knew in the rugby team used to do hand jobs for pints of snakebite and black

I did it for free blush more fool me

toffeeboffin Thu 11-Feb-16 16:18:49

It's not exactly new though is it, this?

Young women exploiting older men for money. Older men exploiting young women for sex.

I get the ethics behind it and everything, but financing uni by fraternizing with a 'sugar daddy' can be an easy option for some women, rather than slaving away in McDonald for 6 quid an hour.

It's crap but nothing new.

OhShutUpThomas Thu 11-Feb-16 16:19:17

It's the men doing the exploiting you should be shocked at.

toffeeboffin Thu 11-Feb-16 16:19:54

'I did it for free blush more fool me'

we all did, stop

toffeeboffin Thu 11-Feb-16 16:21:18

In hindsight, I think I'd have done it too.

OddSocksHighHeels Thu 11-Feb-16 16:25:58

They are definitely lying about the no sex bit grin

Tbh, yes it's going to carry on growing as long as students are having to pay extortionate fees for studying plus renting and other living costs at the same time as there being a shortage in the job market.

wintersocks Thu 11-Feb-16 16:28:34

I am shocked at the men too ohshutup In fact I really wonder who these men are? and to pay to go out with younger women. Really, thousands of men doing this? Some of them must be married and have families. I may sound pearl clutching but would never have done this (and have been skint) out of self respect
It's selling yourself. Very different from sleeping with half the rugby team or whatever, no problem with that. But this is preying on seemingly intelligent women - downgrading them from such into sex objects imo sad

BeautyIsTruth Thu 11-Feb-16 16:28:59

My friend dates men off sugar daddy websites although she's a "mature" student at 26. She fancies older men, god knows why, but she thought it was a good excuse to go on dates with sophisticated, older men in some swanky restaurant in London that cost a bomb. She hasn't had sex with the majority of them. For her, it was just a chance to flirt and be taken out but she did have a sexual relationship with one of them. She didn't get an "allowance" but she admitted he'd paid for a few expensive things for her.

From what she's told me, I don't think they all expect sex - I do think there are some men out there who are so ridiculously rich (the guy my friend saw had his own private helicopter in his back garden or something ridiculous) who enjoy spending shit loads of money and flirting with young women. If they get to shag them as well, then great. I'm sure there are some who do the proper allowance thing. I'm not saying it's right but I can see the appeal in seeing one guy who's attractive, perhaps better in bed and more attentive than silly boys their own age, who can buy them designer handbags and take them out to places they'd never go otherwise. Especially with the amount of debt students come away with. I've known a couple of girls who were pole dancers/strippers throughout uni for the same reason. I don't think they saw being with a sugar daddy as prostitution, even though essentially it is, as they're only sleeping with one guy and having a great time. It's a very shallow, materialistic lifestyle though. My friend said some of these men have nothing other than their money and lead very empty lives, are complete commitment-phobes etc. It's quite sad really and I can see some women getting very sucked into that lifestyle if they're not careful.

That said, it hasn't stopped my friend dating a new super-rich American guy in his 50s, who lavishes her with romantic presents and roses. Poor guys her own age can't compete.

wintersocks Thu 11-Feb-16 16:29:56

and yes it does seem suspicious, the no sex bit? Why aren't we shocked that students are becoming prostitutes in their hundreds of thousands and no-ones batting an eyelid.

BeautyIsTruth Thu 11-Feb-16 16:33:27

Forgot to add, my friend is staunchly feminist, a social activist etc. She doesn't see a problem with dating sugar daddies and views it as a bit of fun. She's not the typical looking bit of fluff on the arm, and she says she's met guys who are very intelligent and successful, which is another thing that appeals to her. Just for another devil's advocate viewpoint.

HamaTime Thu 11-Feb-16 16:36:16

I was at university before the internet was really a thing and I knew people who did this through those dating ads in the paper. DP had a male housemate who was a prostitute/escort and he ended up quite fucked up by it for a lot of years. (no pun intended). He saw a lot of women whereas the women I knew seemed to only have one old man on the go at a time.

BeStrongAndCourageous Thu 11-Feb-16 16:37:02

"Why can't students just buy clothes at Camden Market/charity shops like we used to do^?"
^
Neceradullmoment, a couple of years ago I was having lunch in a restaurant in a posh part of London and overheard a young woman arguing with her (actual) father about her university allowance:

YW: But £70 a week isn't enough! I can't afford to shop at Waitrose on that! And what if I need to buy new clothes?"
Dad: Don't.
YW: But I can't go around in scruffy old clothes!
Dad: Why not? You're a student, you're supposed to!

I felt like cheering him on.

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