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To think it's none of their business but privately be concerned

(14 Posts)
paintthenurseryblue Sun 07-Feb-16 16:41:32

I have a really lovely friend with two little boys aged 9 and 10.

She works full time in a really demanding job and she is fairly recently qualified. Her husband doesn't work as such, but does bits of odd job work.

She has recently announced she is pregnant and some of our other friends have said they feel she's being selfish. I don't think she is like that, but I can see the concern. They have a small flat which is already very full with children and pets (they have lots of animals) and her partner just doesn't pull his weight, goes out drinking and leaves her with the children. Her MIL currently does a lot of childcare when my friend is at work.

Im a bit worried she's going to struggle a lot as her boys are getting to an age where they need space, she has little support and she's already doing everything round the house and is the breadwinner.

How can I support her?

Quoteunquote Sun 07-Feb-16 16:43:45

Advertise her husband's odd job business.

paintthenurseryblue Sun 07-Feb-16 16:45:02

Lol, he doesn't have a business - just does odd jobs every now and again.

JohnLuther Sun 07-Feb-16 16:45:15

I'd butt out unless she asks for help or advice.

Adeleslostbeehive Sun 07-Feb-16 16:46:50

You're not really going to he able to support her in a useful way. I suppose just tell her you're there if she can help. That won't really help with the small house or lazy husband though

Borninthe60s Sun 07-Feb-16 16:48:22

When baby is born offer to help or have older ones and pop in with a lasagne, cottage pie etc. Do the ironing X

Xmasbaby11 Sun 07-Feb-16 17:07:34

Even though her Dh isn't much help, the way you describe him, she does have a hands on mil which makes a big difference.

I'm sure it wasn't decision they took lightly so they must feel happy about the pregnancy.

Daryan Sun 07-Feb-16 17:42:21

Why is she being selfish? She's stuck with a deadbeat husband and a tiny flat. Yes, she's struggling. Now she's struggling more. I feel sorry for her.

paintthenurseryblue Sun 07-Feb-16 17:44:32

I think the 'selfish' comments stem from her wanting the third child.

OzzieFem Sun 07-Feb-16 18:24:32

Looks like MIL will be babysitting for many more years to come.

witsender Sun 07-Feb-16 18:41:28

Why is it only her that is selfish? It takes two to make a baby.

Nice bunch of friends you've got/are.

liberatedwine Sun 07-Feb-16 18:47:44

Why does MIL do the childcare and not the deadbeat dad?

Presumably baby no.3 is planned, I'd leave them to it.

Maybe the recent qualification will mean a better income, and they are intending to move before the baby arrives. I don't think it's selfish to have another child.

paintthenurseryblue Sun 07-Feb-16 18:50:04

They can't move, which is why the new baby was a surprise.

CalleighDoodle Sun 07-Feb-16 19:00:31

Really? She is the one working the high pressure job to support the family and an almost sahp and SHE is the selfish one?! Wtaf with that blatant sexism. The one who is selfish is her lazy arse husband. Who is not holding up his end of the deal.

Tell those nosy bitches that what if the story was HE was working long hours in a pressured job to fund the family so she could do very few hours and be mostly at home, but she wasnt pulling her weigh. What a bastard he is. Ridiculous.

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