Don't tell her kid to stop climbing the slide!(121 Posts)
This blog popped up on FB today and i had a read, and thought it was worth discussing.
Now, i'm coming from this as a mom who's DS is autistic and dyspraxic, so 'hovering' around him in the playground comes as par for the course because he doesn't get the social niceties and his balance isn't great.
I'm a stickler for telling him not to climb the slide, i don't mind if he's got it to himself, but the moment another child wants to play, i will stop him.
Reading through the comments on the blog, there are a lot of parents who not only advocate allowing the kids to climb, but also for other parents to leave their children alone to sort it out for themselves without the parents stepping in, if i didn't do that, DS is likely to have meltdown or try to hit/push one of the other children.
So.. what side are you on? Do you let them climb the slide and sort it out for themselves if other children object? Or are you on the side of stepping in and dealing with it by stopping it? Do you stop other peoples children?
I've done this.
Dd also has autism and a much bigger girl kept trying to climb the slide whenever dd was about to go down it.
I told her it was dangerous, that she would get hurt if she kept trying to climb the slide when people were going down it and basically to pack it in.
Got a few dirty looks from her mum and friends but no one actually said anything.
At home in the garden or in an empty park or soft play my kids can climb the slide. I agree it is fun and prob good exercise.
In public with other people about and sharing the equipment then it's down only. Someone could get hurt and you don't know how fragile strangers are.
Haven't read the blog post, but in general I think it's best to try to identify a child's parent and get them to intervene rather than telling off a child personally. I wouldn't get arsey at a parent who didn't do this, but I think it's best practice. Wrt letting kids sort stuff out themselves, it obviously depends on the kid. For NT children I think it's usually fine for them to sort it themselves. But if you know your child is likely to have a meltdown then obviously you do what you need to do. I don't think you can have a one size fits all rule for situations like this.
Mine are not allowed to climb the slide. I don't tell other children they can't though. It has caused a few tricky moments when other parents allow their children to do it and I have to explain to DS why different rules apply to him.
I'm a stickler about it like you. In my view it makes the slide dirty and interferes with the flow of play for everyone. Appreciate that others might not agree though!
I agree that slide climbing is good for development, I let mine do it sometimes. In fact our park has really big steps for the slide so lots of toddlers seem to master climbing up the slope before they can manage the stairs!
However, I only let them do it if the park is empty or there are so few kids it is easy to see if they see getting in each others way. If there are lots of kids I insist on using the stairs.
The author seems to be imagining a situation where all the kids are a similar age and so able to watch out for who is going up and down, whereas our park almost always has little toddlers in who will get whacked in the face if no one keeps an eye out.
i just can't understand the sentiment of being ok if you kid gets someones feet in their face or knocked off the slide completely.
Are people really ok with that?
It will be easily resolved when child just slides down and sends the DC flying.
They need less rules and guidance. I shudder to think what an even more sorry the world will be in in another 10-20 years.
Ilive so you'd leave them to it? Even if it meant someone might get hurt?
I haven't read the article but I say - Just let them play
If they don't use the equipment in exactly the way it's designed to be used, so what? They're having fun!
My kids favourite thing to do is one climb up the slide whilst one is coming down and the one climbing up gets 'collected' by the other and they come down together
It's hilarious apparently
My mum would shout over at me if I didn't follow playground 'etiquette'.
So don't climb up the slides (plenty of other things to climb) especially if people are using them, don't run into smaller children etc.
Didn't harm my development at all and if anything contributed towards the overall message of being considerate of others I'd say.
I'm a stickler for only climbing up the slide when you have it to yourself. It's dangerous otherwise.
She'll change her tune when her kid goes flying.
Someone trying to climb the slide while there are a line of kids ar the top waiting to come down is only fun for that one kid climbing the slide.
Maybe next time I'll just teach dd to lift her foot up when going down instead of saying anything.
It probably wouldn't be half as much fun with a few missing teeth.
Siblings playing together or on an empty playground is different I'd say. Strangers or children with a much bigger size difference is possibly dangerous and definitely rude.
I don't think getting hurt (a foot in the face, a fall from a not too tall slide) is the worst thing. So for NT children of reasonably similar ages I probably would let them get on with it in most circumstances. I think they'll learn to negotiate and be better human beings if they work out the consequences for themselves. Though a bit of guidance from time to time on how to negotiate can help things along. But the autism makes it different, parents may have other reasons too for not just letting their kids get on with it and sometimes the risk can be more significant than a foot in the face. So I don't think there is a hard and fast rule that all parents should follow.
Mine are allowed to do lots of things as long as no one else is waiting or would be affected. I don't really do blanket bans for the sake of them.
They can climb the slide, as long as there's no one waiting or about to come down.
They can play on the machines in Argos as long as they keep a close watch that no grown ups are waiting to use them.
They can kick a football around inside the playground, as long as there are no other children there (they particularly love doing football assault courses on the climbing equipment - trying to get it from one side to the other without using their hands...only safe on deserted equipment obviously).
They can hold the dogs lead in quiet countryside only...because if he pulled suddenly they're probably not strong enough to hold him. So they never do when there are people or roads around.
I don't find these difficult to enforce at all. They're 8 and 5 and know better than to ask to use the Argos machines in a packed store. They don't even bother taking the football out of the car if they see there are other dc on the playground equipment etc.
I know plenty of people who 100% enforce 'No dc on the Argos machines, they're not toys' and 'no climbing the slide' and 'no footballs in the playground'.
But when no one else is affected by these actions, why? Why put in place unnecessary rules and bans?
I've told my dc to just go on down the slide in the past when a child refused to move or stop climbing.
If a parent had a problem with that, they never came near me.
If you don't want to stop your child climbing the slide then you need to understand there's a possibility they'll be knocked off it.
If you're ok with that then fine.
Lilac I agree that's the best approach.
I think the problem is when parents haven't made that distinction and children still do what they like regardless of others.
Today's 'don't tell my kid not to climb the slide' is tomorrows 'Don't tell me to turn my choons down in public transport/get feet off seats/not to mug this older man'.
Surely no one would tell a child not to climb unless there was a risk of danger from another child coming down?
I haven't read the article because mummy blogger.
Lilac I agree. Except for the Argos machine thing, simply because if I'm browsing I won't know if they're in someone's way unless the other adult is in my line of sight IYSWIM.
To be fair my kids are good at taking turns (most of the time) so if someone was waiting to come down the slide they'd never just go tootling up it
If they were doing that and being
brats selfish that's a different matter
DS is older now. But I never minded slide climbing. I would tell him to watch out for other kids wanting to come down, though, coming down trumps climbing up, and if it was wet/muddy then no climbing because it makes the slide dirty.
But when no one else is affected by these actions, why? Why put in place unnecessary rules and bans?
Some DC and some parents find it easier to have blanket rules because it's actually a lot more complicated for the child to take in the context of the whole situation and easier for them to understand it's always allowed vs it's always banned. I appreciate we were lucky in that regard. There are other rules that we have as blanket - no youtube in the mornings for example - because I know even if we have 10 minutes spare, it won't just be 10 mins, it will be 10 mins and then whining for more and histronics over turning it off, etc. So there's a blanket rule there. Other people might find that they can sometimes watch TV in the mornings and sometimes not.
I've told my dc to just go on down the slide in the past when a child refused to move or stop climbing
Hmm. I don't agree with this at all and don't think it sends a good message. Children need to learn that not everyone around them will always act appropriately or safely or nicely. But not that that person is then asking for/deserves an injury and they're absolved of responsibility if they cause it.
What's the adult equivalent of that? Running over the dickhead teenager that thinks it's funny to ride their bikes across the road with cars coming? After all, if they shouldn't have been on the road in the first place...
she sounds really annoying.
I tell them not to climb the slide because someone might boot them in the face and because it's not nice for the other children sat waiting to go down. I tell them not to walk close to people on the swings too. It doesn't seem to have done them any harm.
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