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Exchanging pleasantries should be well... pleasant?

(20 Posts)
Gisla Sat 06-Feb-16 20:07:26

So starting the "hi, how are you?" "I'm fine thanks, how are you?" "Fine thanks, see you around" "yeah, see you later" conversation with "wow you look exhausted!" is just plain rude unless you are someone's mum or nan (or equally invested relative or friend).

Didn't think I looked that bad to be honest. Or at least would like to pretend it's not so noticeable!

Oysterbabe Sat 06-Feb-16 20:19:32

Yeah that's rude.
When I was very pregnant I could no longer be bothered to wear make up and people were always telling me I looked tired. I told them it was just my normal face.

AlwaysHopeful1 Sat 06-Feb-16 20:22:31

I've had this said to me and I truly was exhausted. I've said this to so own although followed with 'are you ok'. Didn't think it's rude.

Vintage45 Sat 06-Feb-16 20:26:17

Well that was rude if you don't know the person.

AlwaysHopeful1 Sat 06-Feb-16 20:33:50

should have mentioned I would only do this with people I know well. I wouldn't expect to ask an acquaintance if everything is ok.

Stanky Sat 06-Feb-16 20:37:26

People say that to me all the time, I tell them that this is just my face now.

tinofbiscuits Sat 06-Feb-16 23:55:43

I don't think it's rude. It means the other person is concerned and hopes you are OK. It wouldn't occur to me to take it as a slight on my appearance.

BillBrysonsBeard Sun 07-Feb-16 00:31:45

Agree with tinofbiscuits.. I would never see this as rude, it's just an opening for you to say "Oh yeah I've up all night with DS blah blah..." If I look tired it usually means I am tired. It's like a "How are you?" but getting straight down to it grin I've always said this out of concern.

Vintage45 Sun 07-Feb-16 00:33:41

It seems like she didn't really know the person well though, so of course its rude.

OddSocksHighHeels Sun 07-Feb-16 00:37:57

Yes it's rude. I had a colleague ask me why I looked so horrible once shock I just said it's my face and there's not much I can do about it.

Ginkypig Sun 07-Feb-16 02:02:58

Mine was

Hi I didn't recognise you from the back you've got massive anyway how are you it been ages

Ginkypig Sun 07-Feb-16 02:03:40

I'd gained less than a stone and still a healthy weight!

BeachyKeen Sun 07-Feb-16 05:11:46

If someone greeted me that way, I'm likely to shrug and say 'Yes, but the world wont run itself.'
Then walk away. There's no point making conversation with a tool.

BeachyKeen Sun 07-Feb-16 05:13:33

But tbh there are times where I do look like I've been awake all week, eaten all the cookies and dunked my head in a compost heap.

Horsemad Sun 07-Feb-16 07:28:48

Isn't this where we're supposed to trot out the immortal MN line: 'Did you mean to be so rude?'

I'm dying to use that one, next time someone says something thoughtless. smile

sandgrown Sun 07-Feb-16 07:33:41

After first DS was born I had undiagnosed PND. I went to buy a cot and the lady in the shop said "I hope you don't mind me saying but you look awful" I was taken aback but it prompted me to see the doctor.

Thattimeofyearagain Sun 07-Feb-16 07:38:23

I get this a lot.I'm very fair skinned ( Half Irish) and if I go out without makeup I get " You look I'll" . Rude.

tinofbiscuits Sun 07-Feb-16 12:34:01

Why would anyone give you a friendly greeting in order to insult you? They wouldn't. So assuming they're being friendly in every other way, don't think the worst and take it as an insult when they were simply showing concern.

tinyterrors Sun 07-Feb-16 14:16:17

It depends imo. If it comes from a feiend-of-a-friend/acquaintance/random in the street then it's rude. If it comes from a relative, close friends friend then I'd say it's fine and they're concerned about you.

I've got a bad throat infection that's been keeping me up at night and a friend greeted me with "you look like crap, who's ill you or kids?" I knew it was ment with concern not malice.

Outfoxed Sun 07-Feb-16 16:20:58

Ohh, you wouldn't want to work at my workplace! one if my dear dear colleges once started a conversation with "you look terrible. Go home"

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