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To be upset at being called this?

(122 Posts)
LemonySmithit Sat 06-Feb-16 12:43:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goodnightdarthvader1 Sat 06-Feb-16 12:44:26

What. The. Fuck.

That's horrendous. I'd complain to higher ups if you can.

DoreenLethal Sat 06-Feb-16 12:44:52

I would be putting a grievance in about that. How fucking rude and insulting.

Sorry Lemony - she is an ignorant idiot.

KittyandTeal Sat 06-Feb-16 12:45:15

Wow, nope yanbu at all. Damaged girl? Wtaf was she thinking!?

sooperdooper Sat 06-Feb-16 12:45:50

That's awful! No wonder you're upset that's completely unacceptable sad

whatawhoppa Sat 06-Feb-16 12:46:23

utter cheeky bastard. how derogatory. if this was me, I'd be taking it all the way complaints wise

TheWitTank Sat 06-Feb-16 12:47:51

Good grief. No yanbu at all. Outstanding ignorance and rudeness. Agree with others about complaining. Sorry it's put such a dampner on a job you enjoy flowers

VoldysGoneMouldy Sat 06-Feb-16 12:48:06

Kick up the biggest storm you can. This is awful. So sorry.

DPotter Sat 06-Feb-16 12:48:24

Lemony - that's awful! of course YANBU - in no universe is called someone 'a little damaged girl' even vaguely acceptable. As your manager seems supportive, how would you feel about asking her to convey to the so called regional manager, that you found her way of talking to you highly offensive and you expect a fulsome apology. If you're feeling a bit more militant you could raise a formal grievance through HR.

NoCapes Sat 06-Feb-16 12:51:39

Whatttttt?! shock

Salmotrutta Sat 06-Feb-16 12:52:42


That's bloody awful of her to have said that! shock

She needs some training, pronto!

NoCapes Sat 06-Feb-16 12:53:22

She needs some slapping pronto!

iklboo Sat 06-Feb-16 12:54:24

That's disgraceful!

RatherBeRiding Sat 06-Feb-16 12:54:28

That's appalling - even worse that she is a senior manager who ought to know better. Obviously the Equality and Diversity training has completely passed her by!

I would be contacting HR and making a formal complaint.

Of course you're not being over-sensitive! It's a disgusting thing to say to someone.

GabiSolis Sat 06-Feb-16 12:54:56

This might turn out to be one of those rare threads - a unanimous AIBU verdict. YANBU at all, just for the record. How dare she speak to you like that? I definitely would not let this go.

KenDoddsDadsDog Sat 06-Feb-16 12:55:44

Disgraceful . Grievance definitely.

LemonySmithit Sat 06-Feb-16 12:56:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Morasssassafras Sat 06-Feb-16 12:57:19

yanbu. Put in a complaint about her.

skyeskyeskye Sat 06-Feb-16 13:00:46

YANBU and I think that you need to take this to the highest level, but I also understand that you don't want to rock the boat.

However this person should be severely reprimanded for what they said to you.

People get through life like this, because others make excuses for them "oh that's just the way they are". Well they shouldn't be in a job like that, if they speak to people like that.

Totally out of order and you are not being oversensitive. You also have a witness. I would definitely report this to HR or the highest level you can go to.

Sandbrook Sat 06-Feb-16 13:03:58

What a horrible comment.
Even if you feel reporting her is not worth your while, it might be for someone else's benefit down the line.
She was out of order, you are owed an apology.

stumblymonkey Sat 06-Feb-16 13:08:32

Jesus Christ. That is absolutely inappropriate, you are not being unreasonable and have every right to both be fuming and to raise a complaint about it.

SpaceDinosaur Sat 06-Feb-16 13:10:43

Oh my god that's disgusting
Lemony YANBU
You do not need your manager to act on your behalf. Take this higher. "Damaged " is a vile thing to say to a person, completely wrong and not acceptable in any situation but especially not work.

The manager needs educating. Christ a lesson and a slap would be too kind.

Lemony. Draft a letter. A company with regional managers will have a HR dept. They need to be informed. Urgently.
Say that your managers apologised for the regional managers comment, they clearly appreciated how wrong the comment was but are disinclined and fearful to pursue the matter respectively.

Are you ok?

stumblymonkey Sat 06-Feb-16 13:11:01

I'd be tempted to keep the job while you need it and then raise a grievance in the last month or so.

You don't need your managers support to raise a can request details of their HR person.

At least that way you can keep your role but also teach this incredibly rude and ignorant regional manager a lesson that they clearly need to learn.

VinoTintoPorFavor Sat 06-Feb-16 13:13:50

Yanbu at all. It's completely unacceptable for anyone to call you a damaged little girl. It's also unacceptable for anyone to excuse it and say "that's just what they're like".

It sounds like a big company - get hold of the HR number and give them a call. They have a responsibility to you to help you understand the policies and procedures and what you can do about it, and they also have a responsibility to address it. It will probably mean additional training for the manager, we're not talking about a sacking or anything so don't be made to feel like you're causing trouble for anyone - it needs to be dealt with.

Msqueen33 Sat 06-Feb-16 13:15:30

That's disgusting. Two of my young daughters have autism and if anyone called them damaged I'd be ragging !!!!

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