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To not want to carry on with dd's potential court case

(8 Posts)
Natsku Fri 05-Feb-16 20:23:56

I mean I don't know yet if it will go to court but if it does I just really don't feel happy about it.

It was about an incident that happened in August, with a drunk, mentally challenged man grabbing dd (then 4) and scaring her. I reported it to the police and said I wanted to press charges at the time but afterwards found out that the man has an extremely low IQ and so likely didn't even realise he was doing something wrong, was most likely trying to help.

But it caused nightmares for dd so I made a statement about that and was told it doesn't matter any more if I want to press charges or not as the alleged crime (unlawful restraint) was serious enough to not need my permission for the prosecutor to take the case. But I heard nothing since then and forgot about it until today I was contacted for more information about the effects on dd and I really don't think there are any lingering effects. She has some big issues but I'm fairly certain they are nothing to do with that incident. I don't feel right about the man being punished for something I don't think he could have understood but now I don't get to decide that. I almost wish I had never reported it in the first place.

no73 Fri 05-Feb-16 20:28:12

I think you should because even if he was low IQ he still should;t be grabbing children plus you don't know his background and this may not be the first time he has done this.

Or you could ask the police for more facts about him and ask to go down the more informal route...isn't there a victim impact thingy where you get to speak to the perpetrator and tell them how it made you feel/your daughter feel.

BillSykesDog Fri 05-Feb-16 21:14:35

If he couldn't understand what he is doing and meant no harm that will be his defence. Where did you hear this from? It sounds odd for the police to say this to you, have you heard this from unofficial source?

For them to go ahead with the prosecution anyway regardless of your feelings there must be something in this. I'm glad they're taking the precaution if that's the case.

Natsku Fri 05-Feb-16 21:20:29

I'm not in the UK, the legal system is different here though I don't really know how this works, haven't been given any information really except for an explanation of victims' rights but apparently because dd is so young she isn't even the victim here, its me.

I heard it straight from the police officer in charge of the case, he said that its up to the prosecutor whether the case goes ahead or not and not up to me at all any more. He also told me that he himself thought the man meant no harm - he's well known to the police because of his drunkenness. My OH told me about his background as he grew up here and knew about him.

acasualobserver Fri 05-Feb-16 21:26:07

The wheels are in motion now. I would just continue to tell the truth as I saw it and let the legal process take its course.

Dammyjoger Fri 05-Feb-16 21:32:18

It might not have any lasting effects on her now but what about when shes older?, these things have a habbit of creeping back up on you, i understand that maybe you dont want to put this man through this as you believe he has MH problems but that doesnt make what he done ok!, he frightened your child enough for her to have nightmares and as a pp said his MH problems will be his deffence.

VinoTintoPorFavor Fri 05-Feb-16 21:41:24

Let it go through the system. His drunkenness almost certainly had an impact on his behaviour. They will probably see that as an aggravating factor, and his mental health as a mitigating factor, and hopefully the guy will get some helpful intervention and support rather than just a 'punishment'.

Natsku Fri 05-Feb-16 21:49:50

I hope he gets some kind of helpful intervention. I think he probably belongs in a group home so he can get better supervision as he obviously wasn't being supervised then.

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