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AIBU to want to slap the s**t out of people who announce other people's news on FB?

(58 Posts)
IPokeBadgers Fri 05-Feb-16 11:55:43

I know, I am sure this has been done to death but I have the rage! Once again I have found out about the birth of a friends baby because of the competitive posting on FB by another friend who obviously needs the dubious honour of being first to post public congratulations on the new mum's timeline.

I mean, who the feck does that? FFS, let the parents make the public announcement about the new arrival....have the basic manners to wait until they have had a chance to draw breath and get around their nearest and dearest before posting it for all and sundry.

Funnily enough, the congratulations message has been removed [I can only assume by the mother of the newly arrived....]

PurpleDaisies Fri 05-Feb-16 11:57:57

I have no idea but I agree with you-annoying and selfish. I think it's a "look at me" tactic.

ciabattav0nbreadstickz Fri 05-Feb-16 12:08:21

Generally speaking I agree, it's annoying when people share news that isn't theirs.

My MIL-to-be did this with mine and DP's recent engagement announcement but tbh I didn't mind, she was just super excited and couldn't wait to tell everyone.

Did make it slightly awkward though as I hadn't had a chance to tell my family at the time!

IPokeBadgers Fri 05-Feb-16 12:12:48

It's not even so much that I am peeved that is how I found out - it is just that I think it is such a lovely special piece of news, and it should be up to the new parents to decide and have the option of how they want people to find out.

Cutecat78 Fri 05-Feb-16 12:15:42

Someone did this to my friend - when her son died of cancer - within an hour of him passing.

It was her son's Auntie sad

Sallyingforth Fri 05-Feb-16 12:16:00

FB flowers

FranHastings Fri 05-Feb-16 12:16:30

My MIL did this to me and posted an announcement on my page on Facebook. I suddenly got a load of congratulations texts from different people and couldn't work out how they knew. I wasn't pleased for many different reasons.

ForeverLivingMyArse Fri 05-Feb-16 12:18:32

Oh I wonder if we've got mutual friends! My lovely friend had a baby this morning, her husband text me and I'm assuming everyone else he'd been instructed to with the news. Text back my congratulations and that's it. But no, one drama llama has plastered it all over fb in her own post tagging the new parents. Why???

justcheese Fri 05-Feb-16 12:19:10

I found out my granddad had died via Fb. Was very upsetting.

Beeswax2017 Fri 05-Feb-16 12:22:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WickedWax Fri 05-Feb-16 12:25:22

Selfish thunder-stealers.

I've also got a FB friend who I presume has given birth recently, going off the number of 'congratulations' messages on her page, started by one of her friends and everyone else has jumped on the bandwagon.

Rather worryingly she hasn't made an announcement herself, neither has her partner, and neither of them have been seen on FB since the messages started - it's been about 3 or 4 days now.

I also have someone who I recently deleted, she's the first one to post a cryptic message when there's been any engagement, birth, death, or secret marriage. Did my fucking head in.

She'll quite often post along the lines of "So sad, another star shining bright in the sky tonight, fly high with your angel wings" then get loads of responses along the lines of "oh no, who?" to which she'll reply "I'll inbox you hun". angry.

Satsunday Fri 05-Feb-16 12:34:13

My sil announced the birth of our first baby on FB. "Let me be the first to congratulate you etc etc". Thankfully everyone (including me) chose to ignore it until Id had chance to write my own announcement on there above hers. I'd have deleted it in hindsight if I'd realised I could.

When we had our second my DH asked her not to put anything on FB to which he got a slightly stroppy response along the lines of "of course I won't". I really wish my DH had said something at the time.

notquitehuman Fri 05-Feb-16 12:36:59

I found out about DN birth on Facebook too. My DB sent out a group text with a picture, and the hospital had crap reception so some people's messages were delayed. A family member was in the pub with a work colleague of SIL and showed off the text. Cue work colleague making some icky status about 'congrats (DB and SIL names) on your new arrival'! Several family members were pissed at her.

My aunt is a bloody expert at vaguebooking and going on about how she's feeling so down today blah blah. She's a total hun and a real attention sponge. She posts almost daily about my grandpa who died 15 years ago, and constantly posts pictures about grief and angels and shit. I mean, I know she's upset, but she has joined groups about child loss and tries to offer her support to grieving parents by butting in on conversations with 'well, when my dad died I found this helped...' just fucking leave them alone woman!

Fairenuff Fri 05-Feb-16 12:37:42

I don't suppose it's any different to what people have always done, except that with the invention of telephones and computers it's a lot quicker. It's news that people want to share and it's how we live now.

YABU for wanting to slap anyone. That seems like an extraordinary amount of anger not at all in proportion. Maybe don't have facebook if it upsets you?

VinoTintoPorFavor Fri 05-Feb-16 12:39:30

It's a shitty thing to do. Happened when we got engaged and when we had our first baby - with pictures too! angry

ratspeaker Fri 05-Feb-16 12:40:04

We had this when MIL died.
Had not even got home from the hospice to tell our children. Our eldest saw on Facebook her granny had died. We wanted to tell them in person.
The person who posted hadn't even been to see MIL in the hospice but had a post all about how sad she was how it meant so much etc etc.

NeedsAsockamnesty Fri 05-Feb-16 12:45:02

My children's paternal grandmother did this before my daughters cord was even cut.

I had no idea she had even been told or how, I later found out that dad had spoken to her whilst I was puking my guts out

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 05-Feb-16 12:45:26

I had an ill advised fb congratulations after my baby that generated lots of messages that I felt obliged to reply to. I was pretty knackered and would have been happier sharing the good news in my own time.

SevenOfNineTrue Fri 05-Feb-16 12:46:52

Some people are desperately insecure so post things immediately to 'show off' that they were told before others.

Very sad if you ask me.

lazyarse123 Fri 05-Feb-16 12:47:34

This really narks me too, if it's not your news don't share it. And the thing with angels and shit (especially about celebrities) we all grieve about lost loved ones and your grief is no worse than anyone else's, these people really need to get over themselves.

MrsGentlyBenevolent Fri 05-Feb-16 12:48:45

I felt awful for my friend when someone did this to her (though she's far too nice to call people out on such behaviour). I know she had a very tough birth, however her partner did send out a brief text to say baby had arrived. Obviously they had more on their mind than to update Facebook, however some attention seeker decided to do it for them straight away.

When our child was born, we specifically asked those we rang/texted not to put their own announcements up. It's awful some people need to be told not to, but then again some just live for attention.

chicaguapa Fri 05-Feb-16 12:54:41

YANBU. I feel the same about RIP comments and threads, it's saying to everyone that they have their finger on the pulse and they knew the exact second it was announced. hmm

RDWRER Fri 05-Feb-16 12:55:20

When our DD's due date was near, DH and I set our FB profiles so that we had to approve anyone posting on our wall, or anything we were tagged in from appearing on our wall. We had at least one congratulations message before we posted our own announcement, so I'm glad we did!

3WiseWomen Fri 05-Feb-16 13:00:30

I think it's even worse when its a message regarding someone's death.
Stealing the spotlight from someone is one thing.
In effect telling people very close to someone that they have died through FB is just SHIT. Have they even thought about how upsetting it will be for all those concerned to learn about it in such an impersonnal way? angry

WutheringFrights Fri 05-Feb-16 13:07:11

I was really cross when my BIL put up an FB post saying something about about 'exciting family news' when we told them I was pregnant with DC1.

We were recently married and you didn't need to be Sherlock to work out what it meant.

The fact that I had already had one mc and was waiting till my 2nd scan to tell the world didn't occur to him.

Then when we had our 2nd DC he did it again!

DH was on the phone to him within minutes to tell him to remove it and when he said we were party poppers - he was just excited and wanted to share the news DH had to point out that it wasn't actually his news to share.

The thing that annoyed me is that he isn't stupid, in fact far from it, he is a really really intelligent man, with children of his own.

I was tempted to announce the birth of their third child before them but I couldn't be that cruel (also I was on holiday with no phone because DS had dropped it in the bath)

Some people don't think further than their own feelings when using social media.

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