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To do this?

(7 Posts)
SooYoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:50:07

I am due to meet ex friend x for a quick coffee tomorrow while in her area for a family commitment. She knows that I will be spending most of the day with said family member and they get on well.

I have had some history with x. We used to be very very close but they became bitter and nasty to be with a few months back, when things all came to a head. I politely stopped contact but now things have slowly started back up (x is being very sweet and appears to be regretful?). Anyway I don't want to be drawn into any long talks on how either of us could/should have behaved; afaiac, that boat has sailed and things just are what they are. I also don't think you can really take back what someone has said to you (x said some hurtful stuff to me, and I don't want to feel forced in a position to say it's all ok when it's not tbh).

I just want us to see each other on neutral ground, see how it goes, say hi in a friendly way but without any fights or big talks.

For this reason would IBU to bring said family member along with me therefore making it into a bit of a group meetup? X and I get on great in groups normally, and that's the kind of dynamic I'd ideally like to achieve going forward with her - not really any 1 on 1 contact (we crashed and burned when we did this before!) but just chilled group meetups

SooYoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:51:47

PS it would make a lot of sense logistically if family member came along too. I'm staying with them and we're both going to be doing the same activity all day near x's house. I don't want to leave them to it while I swam off with x for an hour

bornwithaplasticspoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:52:31

I think you should mention it to her first.

SooYoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:53:33

Yeah I definitely will!

bornwithaplasticspoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:55:44

I don't see the problem then. Having someone else will diffuse any awkwardness.

SooYoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:59:03

That's exactly what I'm hoping for.

How do you think I should phrase it?

In a "is it okay if xyz family member comes along too?" Or in a more matter of fact "xyz and I are going to be a abc place all day so definitely come and join us for a drink!"

bornwithaplasticspoon Thu 04-Feb-16 18:08:02

I'd say 'Hi, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Xyz is at a loose end and was wondering if you'd mind her coming too?'

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