Talk

Advanced search

To do this?

(7 Posts)
SooYoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:50:07

I am due to meet ex friend x for a quick coffee tomorrow while in her area for a family commitment. She knows that I will be spending most of the day with said family member and they get on well.

I have had some history with x. We used to be very very close but they became bitter and nasty to be with a few months back, when things all came to a head. I politely stopped contact but now things have slowly started back up (x is being very sweet and appears to be regretful?). Anyway I don't want to be drawn into any long talks on how either of us could/should have behaved; afaiac, that boat has sailed and things just are what they are. I also don't think you can really take back what someone has said to you (x said some hurtful stuff to me, and I don't want to feel forced in a position to say it's all ok when it's not tbh).

I just want us to see each other on neutral ground, see how it goes, say hi in a friendly way but without any fights or big talks.

For this reason would IBU to bring said family member along with me therefore making it into a bit of a group meetup? X and I get on great in groups normally, and that's the kind of dynamic I'd ideally like to achieve going forward with her - not really any 1 on 1 contact (we crashed and burned when we did this before!) but just chilled group meetups

SooYoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:51:47

PS it would make a lot of sense logistically if family member came along too. I'm staying with them and we're both going to be doing the same activity all day near x's house. I don't want to leave them to it while I swam off with x for an hour

bornwithaplasticspoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:52:31

I think you should mention it to her first.

SooYoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:53:33

Yeah I definitely will!

bornwithaplasticspoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:55:44

I don't see the problem then. Having someone else will diffuse any awkwardness.

SooYoon Thu 04-Feb-16 17:59:03

That's exactly what I'm hoping for.

How do you think I should phrase it?

In a "is it okay if xyz family member comes along too?" Or in a more matter of fact "xyz and I are going to be a abc place all day so definitely come and join us for a drink!"

bornwithaplasticspoon Thu 04-Feb-16 18:08:02

I'd say 'Hi, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Xyz is at a loose end and was wondering if you'd mind her coming too?'

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now