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to have told off colleague for using disabled toilet

(455 Posts)
loopsylala Thu 04-Feb-16 10:03:33

I have a disability and often can't get into the toilet at work as its being used by people changing clothes etc.

I mentioned it to hr who put a sign up but that's been removed.

Just caught someone using it. I asked if he was disabled, he said no but that the other toilets are sometimes full. I said that didn't matter, as he shouldn't be using the disabled toilet.

I'm worried now I will get into trouble. I've complained about this so many times and don't want to be seen as a trouble maker or that it's "my" toilet.

I hate confrontation and want to get on with my colleagues.

Could I have handled it better?

OfaFrenchmind2 Thu 04-Feb-16 10:08:57

Disabled toilets are priority for disabled people. Does not mean it is only for disabled people.
YABU, I doubt people will really complain, but they will think you are somewhat twattish.

Believeitornot Thu 04-Feb-16 10:10:10

Yabu - what happens if another disabled person was using it and you couldn't get in?

witsender Thu 04-Feb-16 10:10:41

Yabu tbh. They are priority to those with disabilities, not solely for their use. I can appreciate it would annoy you.

lljkk Thu 04-Feb-16 10:10:54

I don't know your set up.

I disagree that in principle the disabled-access toilet in every workplace should only be there for disabled people to use & never anyone else. My building is set up such the many disabled loos are easy to find but you have to hunt around the building and get thru security doors to reach the non-disabled loos which may be full anyway... only one person out of 100 people at our workplace needs disabled access.

Expect I'll be flamed & you'll get buckets of support.

witsender Thu 04-Feb-16 10:11:11

But it shouldn't be used as a changing room.

Bluecheese22 Thu 04-Feb-16 10:11:51

If your the only person 'entitled' to use it in a large company then I think yabu. Why should it not be used on the off chance you need it at the same time.

WileHallion Thu 04-Feb-16 10:12:02


Nomoregrief Thu 04-Feb-16 10:12:30

YABU - all you have to do is wait a few minutes until it is free.

ifyoulikepinacolada Thu 04-Feb-16 10:13:06

I can see where you're coming from but I think you're being a bit unreasonable. You shoukd have priority for the disabled toilet, of course. And I don't think you'll get into trouble. But you don't have exclusive rights over it I'm afraid. Can you suggest to HR that there is a need for a separate changing area, and then some of the longer waits when people are changing might improve?

Soapmaker34 Thu 04-Feb-16 10:13:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loopsylala Thu 04-Feb-16 10:14:25

I am not the only disabled person and have no issue with other disabled people using it. There is s changing room/shower right next to it

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 04-Feb-16 10:15:33

yabu fir asking him.

you had no right to ask him if he was disabled. he has no obligation to tell you his medical history and ergo you can't have a go at him based on his answer.

but if he was using it and didn't need to then he is the one being most unreasonable.

not sure what solution is. you should have access to the loo as you need it and no one should he using it unless they need to.

but medical.problems are the business of the person and who they choose to tell. which understandably isn't coworkers who challenge their choice of facility.

shocking you have so much trouble with it though. it shouldn't be being used by those who don't need it and I understand why you questioned him.

BarbarianMum Thu 04-Feb-16 10:15:33

We have one accessible toilet at work (plus two others) and it is often used when the others are busy. I don't think any of us who legitamately could claim special rights over it mind at all (although I would hammer at the door if I was desperate).

Be honest OP, is this really a problem to you or were you complaining on principle? If the former YANBU to go through HR but I would continue going through them rather than policing the toilet yourself. If someone challenged me about using ours I would purt in a formal complaint about them tbh. My medical issues are absolutely none of your business.

startingmylifeagain Thu 04-Feb-16 10:15:38

I think YABU and a bit self-entitled.

Noeuf Thu 04-Feb-16 10:16:30

Otoh how can you have priority if someone is already in it? Or do you mean in a race to the loo, op wins?

Owllady Thu 04-Feb-16 10:16:31

Oh ffs he told her he wasn't disabled and was using it because all the other toilets were full
Disabled toilets are accessible to people who are disabled
End of

I have never known people get so het up about the envy of the disabled loo. It's absolutely bonkers

loopsylala Thu 04-Feb-16 10:16:42

My disabilities are hidden too so I know they can be hidden hence why I asked that question before telling him he should not use it.

Quite shocked at the support for him. Oh to swap places with you all..

ZiggyFartdust Thu 04-Feb-16 10:16:56

No matter the rights or wrongs of who is using what toilet, the problem here is you "telling off a colleague". You were wrong to do that. You should have taken it up with your manager/HR etc to deal with the colleague if appropriate.

MrsHathaway Thu 04-Feb-16 10:17:04

I think what matters here is that you are the person who needs to use the disabled toilet and it's often unavailable to you because people who could use other facilities are hogging it for non-toilet reasons.

If there aren't enough toilets for the building, that's a matter for facilities and nothing to do with their legal obligation to make reasonable adjustments for people with disabilities. If people routinely need changing facilities then those should be provided.

I think you're right to make a fuss about this, because one way or another the management is not meeting its responsibilities to its employees.

Vaginaaa Thu 04-Feb-16 10:17:25

Yabu asking him if he is disabled. People don't have to share anything about their medical situation with you just because you have nominated yourself as toilet police.

MaryPoppinsPenguins Thu 04-Feb-16 10:17:42

This again..

OhShutUpThomas Thu 04-Feb-16 10:18:24

YABU about confronting your colleague. What if he had the shits?

YANBU about the changing room thing.

BarbarianMum Thu 04-Feb-16 10:19:00

<<Oh ffs he told her he wasn't disabled and was using it because all the other toilets were full>>

I'm not disabled, I have Crohns disease. Still doesn't mean I don't sometimes need a toilet with space to change and a sink quickly. Still doesn't mean I have to explain myself to just anybody.

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 04-Feb-16 10:19:22

I certainly an not supporting him in the sense of a non disabled person using the wrong toilet.

I do however support everyone's right to privacy and pointed out his answer may not be truthful.

there's a difference

I did say he shouldn't be using it if he has no need to.

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