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AIBU?

to think slings don't really let you "get on with stuff" while the baby sleeps

48 replies

Effiethemonster · 02/02/2016 18:46

My sling has been a godsend, it really has, dd is 12 weeks and basically won't nap without it. But I'm a bit tired of it now, I love sitting on the sofa with her cuddled up snoozing but I need to do other stuff too and everything just wakes her up. I just settled her in there to cook dinner and remembered I need to use the blender ffs.

I'm aware of my every movement in it, i can't eve flush the friccin loo in case it wakes her.

I think it would be okay if it was just a few hours a day but she's tired constantly and can't seem to be awake for more than 45 mins.

Anyway, it's just a rant, I feel guilty for wanting her to sleep separate from me but also I was pregnant for 9 months I would like my body back!
Oh and I'd love to nap while she's napping! God, the things I'd do for a decent nap.

(I've had good advice on her sleeping from fatedestiny btw which was helpful and she can nap elsewhere sometimes if I time it right but I'm basically shit at reading her cues and even if she does nap elsewhere it's only for 30- 45 minutes)

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shutupandshop · 02/02/2016 18:50

I loved my sling with dc4 out of the house. In the house I felt the same as you. He was also a big sleeper for maybe 4/5 months. I used to spend alot of time on the dofa with him.

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StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 02/02/2016 18:52

many moons ago when mine were little I used the sling to get on with stuff while they were awake, they went with me while I hoovered etc and I could talk to them the whole time, when they slept they went in their basket / cot and I had a deserved rest / snooze. worked well for me.

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Effiethemonster · 02/02/2016 18:56

Oh stepaway that way around sounds great! MMMMM SNOOZE


Thanks shutupansshop I'm the same, I love strolling about outside with her, so much better than a pram but I also need to eat and I keep dropping foodstuffs on her head. Sad

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shutupandshop · 02/02/2016 18:59

Also found cooking a pain and too worried about burninng him

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metimeisforwimps · 02/02/2016 19:00

I'm another one who uses it when they're awake. Especially if you can get them on your back once they can hold their head up. ds2 is nearly 2 and if he's clingy he'll be happy on my back while I get on with stuff
Op don't feel.guilty for wanting your body back!

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Effiethemonster · 02/02/2016 19:01

Yep or squishing their feet on the counter! So the sleeping this is normal right? I keep reading that she should be sleeping for 4-5 hours a day at this age but she needs wayyyy more than that. Although she doesn't sleep great at night tbf.

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PennyHasNoSurname · 02/02/2016 19:01

Could you try a nice tight swaddle so she has the closeness and then into the bouncer seat so she has the movement?

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shutupandshop · 02/02/2016 19:03

I really worried about ds1 as he slept so much more than my 3 dds at that stage but some babies just do! Enjoy the peace.!

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GrouchyKiwi · 02/02/2016 19:03

It's hard when they need to be on you to sleep. I found slings great for some things - like vacuuming, cooking, doing the washing up, folding laundry - but not for tidying or hanging up washing.

DD1 was happy by herself right from the get go - I could just put her in the pram, bring her into whichever room I was in, and she'd be fine for ages. DD2 needed me all the time.

In the end I taught her to be more independent by putting her down and stepping away for gradually increasing lengths of time. She then learned to play by herself, and sleep in her crib or cot, so things were a lot easier.

She's still much clingier than DD1 but at least has a modicum of independence at 18 months.

The first few months can be really tough, but you'll get there!

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icklekid · 02/02/2016 19:04

Could you try napping in bed and cosleeping so you both rest? At that age ds was the same in lots of short naps.

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Effiethemonster · 02/02/2016 19:06

Icklekid i used to be able to do that! I used to feed her to sleep lying down and nap like that but she's stopped feeding to sleep now!

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BackforGood · 02/02/2016 19:07

YABU. It's one thing to carry your baby outside if that's your preference, but another altogether to have them in front of you when cooking drinking a cuppa / going to the toilet / and so forth.

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Effiethemonster · 02/02/2016 19:07

Penny she's always screamed bloody murder whenever I have tried to swaddle her.

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GenevaMaybe · 02/02/2016 19:18

Take her out of the sling, put her down to sleep! She is too old for swaddling now but she's at a good age for getting in to the habit of sleeping in her cot

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Effiethemonster · 02/02/2016 19:21

Take her out of the sling, put her down to sleep! She is too old for swaddling now but she's at a good age for getting in to the habit of sleeping in her cot

Do you really think I haven't tried?!

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UmbongoUnchained · 02/02/2016 19:22

Will be much easier when you can put her on your back! My 18 month old is always on my back when I'm doing the hoovering (as she always bloody unplugs it!)

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PurpleCrazyHorse · 02/02/2016 19:23

I feel the same, simply because DS is so huge, I can hardly see anything when he's in the sling. It's like being pregnant again. I really need to be brave enough to back sling but he weighs two stone and he just loves crawling around.

I taking the approach of only doing the bare essentials.

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Believeitornot · 02/02/2016 19:27

My dd was like this - a sling demon. I started trying to get her to nap in the pushchair at about 4 months and by 5/6 months she was a champion napper in the cot and pushchair. I didn't bother with self settling

However she was my second and I had to be a bit more harsh eg I'd put her down asleep after rocking her and if she woke and I couldn't resettle she'd have to skip a nap. However that was rare. She started by napping in the pushchair (it happened unexpectedly one day and I could have wept with relief - she was sitting slightly upright) so I knew she didn't need the sling for every nap.

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Lolly1984 · 02/02/2016 19:31

I had same problem with ds, don't think I put him down for 3 months even at night. And his sleep was irregular, often dozy when he was awake because he was warm and comfortable. We also had issues with noises waking him up, but I went a little mad between 3 and 4 months, due to lack of sleep, so I bought a angel baby mat, one that signals when they stop breathing, put him down on his tummy and that worked, 3 naps a day of about an hour each, then 3 hour stretchs at night. I also put him down to play tummy time during the day. He's now 7 months and sleeps twice during the day for 2 hours each and 4 or 5 hour stretchs at night :)
It does get better, and you are doing an amazing job!

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GenevaMaybe · 02/02/2016 19:47

It sounds like you have been feeding her sleep which is not great for settling in a cot. Also she's really used to napping in the sling so that's a massive habit to break. If you really want to help her nap in the cot, you can, it just won't be easy. I am just trying to help, promise!

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Junosmum · 02/02/2016 19:48

I have to say that mine is a godsend - I hoover, cook, do all sorts with DS in mine. He doesn't wake, but we've never been quiet when he's sleeping so he's learn't to sleep through it.

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Breadwidow · 02/02/2016 19:57

I totally agree, you can do some stuff but not all the stuff you want to. I second what someone recommended earlier, try a co sleeping nap - feed to sleep but stay in bed with the baby and try to nap too, I found my son sleeps better when I was there. i also found I was able to leave him for a bit after a while which was good whe I was less tired and needed to do things.

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witsender · 02/02/2016 20:01

I don't know, mine really did save my sanity with both. With #2 I moved him into my back very early (from about a week old) for the odd thing like giving the toddler a bath, cooking etc as it was easier to have him out of the way. But I really did use a wrap every day for nigh on 5 yrs between the two of them. Having a decent wrap and learning how to tie it quickly and well was the key for me.

They do get used to noise and motion btw, the youngest once slept on Dh's front for 2 hrs while he recanted and bottles about 50 litres of home brew, never stirred.

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pookamoo · 02/02/2016 20:03

I just used to use the blender anyway.

It's amazing what they will sleep through!

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gruber · 02/02/2016 20:08

I just got on with it because I had to. 2 older ones and tea won't cook itself! Just get on with life. They sleep through noise. I also had to just roll with it because when he was awake he would often be feeding so I was tied to a chair. I do get the frustration but it is quite liberating! Just be sensible about cooking, using sharp knives etc. I used the food processor more for grating, chopping etc as it was "safe" rather than cutting with a knife when he was in sling. I still carry him now (on my back), got loads done the other day when he was poorly and refusing to sleep!

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