To think Yr6 is a massive pita and be counting the days until the end of July?

(29 Posts)
AvaLeStrange Tue 02-Feb-16 16:54:39

Just that really.

DD is 11. She seems to be stuck in a group (with one exception) of cantankerous, catty, stroppy, hormone fuelled, spiteful girls who flounce if someone so much as bats an eyelid in the wrong direction. One in particular is constantly try to stir between DD and her other friends and resorted to some really hurtful & offensive name calling yesterday.

I'm sure its a combination of hormones & familiarity breeds contempt but every day there is another drama (I expect DD isn't entirely without her diva moments either tbf), and its exhausting having to listen to chapter and verse about it every evening.

There also seems to no rhyme or reason to the work they are doing, and due to the govt getting rid of levels, no reliable way of finding out how DD is progressing.

The school converted to academy status fairly recently and their organisation & communication leaves a fair bit to be desired.

I just can't wait for a fresh start in September tbh. Tell me it's not just me, and if anyone has any advice on how to stay sane between now and the summer hols that would be great confused.

Leeds2 Tue 02-Feb-16 17:16:09

Have she got some sort of Leavers' Prom coming up? That is normally good for a few tantrums!

Sorry!

Babyroobs Tue 02-Feb-16 17:16:54

My dd is 10 and in year 6. We don't seem to be having any problems with friendships or fallings out ( thank goodness !)but she is finding the work tough and getting upset by the constant tests and extra work in the run up to SATS. Her school have now brought in 2 new part time teachers to help exclusively in year 6 to bring the struggling ones up to standard. This means she now has 4 teachers to deal with as she already has one teacher for 3 days and one for 2. She is constantly coming home upset and comparing herself and her scores to others. She has been in tears saying school is no fun anymore which I think is very sad at 10 years of age. I encourage her to do lots of after school sport to balance things and refuse to spend the whole weekend doing homework as she spends a good chunk of the weekend training and playing football competitively. YANBU I too will be glad when this year is over !

Cutecat78 Tue 02-Feb-16 17:19:25

It ends by the end of yr 9 usually grin

Cutecat78 Tue 02-Feb-16 17:20:28

And don't sweat about the stats - it's about the school looking good - it's not about your kid doing well.

Itsmine Tue 02-Feb-16 17:28:10

If they've all been together since nursery and reception it can be exhausting the dramas that seem to come to a head in y6.

There's lots of jealousies, dramas and showing off.

I really can't recall it ever being so spiteful in primary when I was a kid.

I used to tell mine not to show off, just be nice to each other but there was such a lot of power struggles going on, everyone having to declare a 'bff' on a daily basis.

The worst dc were the ones whose parents were always in talking to the teacher about the others bullying theirs confused

It carries on in senior but becomes more dilute and far more manageable. Honest grin

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Tue 02-Feb-16 17:30:01

Some parents raise divas!! DD year 6 is in a nice class of well rounded not diva kids -

Your daughter needs to learn to stop competing and walk away from diva behaviour!

DD1 was in a class of these girls - none are friends in high school!!

Katenka Tue 02-Feb-16 17:33:57

Dd started year 7, in September.

Year 6 was hell. I think it was of the reasons you state. All fed up of each other, in between a teen and a child stage etc.

Everything has been great, so far. That may not last. But they were a class of thirty and their year has 365 pupils. Friendships have diluted and not as intense. They don't spend all day together.

I have a boy in reception and fully prepared for the same with him.

AvaLeStrange Tue 02-Feb-16 18:10:31

Sally my DD is not competing - she just keeps in getting caught up in the middle of it! Having been bullied herself in Yr4 she does tend to get a bit over invested in trying to keep the peace when she should probably keep out of it!

One of them keeps throwing wobblies for no apparent reason whatsoever; one absolutely has to be in the centre of everything or has a diva strop, and and one is being incredibly spiteful to DD which I suspect is a jealousy/resentment thing as she is having a bit of a tough time out of school atm. Then there is DD and her friend who are either on the receiving end or constantly trying to mop up the others! There was a sixth girl who has sensibly removed herself to another friendship group!

Unfortunately DD's two closest school friends (both boys) moved out of the area last year so she is floundering a bit.

DD has always been a bit of a 'leader' and I get the impression that the others don't particularly want that role, but don't like her in it either confused. She is also one of the eldest and tallest in the year so hit her hormonal phase early when she was still with the boys and is now having to cope with all her girl friends going through the same thing en masse!

Leeds no prom thankfully, but they are doing a 3-day residential. DH and I convinced her to sign up even though she is very anxious about being away from me for two nights. At the time the friendship group was newly formed and all was smooth sailing but now I'm starting to think we should pull the plug. DD doesn't want to go now anyway, and whilst I'd try and encourage her if she was going with a good, solid group of friends, under the circumstances it seems a bit foolish to pursue it.

It's such a shame as I was hoping she'd have lovely memories of her last year at primary, but as it is we can't wait to see the back of the place sad.

Baby sorry your DD is having such a hard time too flowers.

CaptainCrunch Tue 02-Feb-16 18:30:18

It's pretty standard for the final year of primary. Just my opinion but I think cancelling school camp is a bad idea. The dynamics at a residential are very different to what they are in school. Top dogs and queen bees often struggle out of their comfort zone and the less mouthy kids get the chance to shine and new friendships form. I would encourage her to still go.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Tue 02-Feb-16 19:03:10

Many girls of year 6 age are hormonal nightmares who are too big for their boots because they're the eldest in the school. I think they're ready to be teenagers (in their heads anyway) but also scared and confused and they take it out on each other.

I volunteer st Brownies and Guides though and that year 5/6 is possibly my favourite age because they're funny and grown up and childish about equally and THAT's funny, and they still want adult input but they can go off and do things on their own, they amaze me at times at how kind and sensible they can be, equally I've been amazed at how ridiculous and petty they are!

For your DD, does she have friends away from school? Guides might be good as the older ones seem to give a bit more balance, or any sports that she does especially if they're a team.

theycallmemellojello Tue 02-Feb-16 19:08:08

I don't think you are doing your DD any favours with your attitude. I know others will say this is fine and normal but look at how many strongly gendered words you're using. "divas", "catty", "stroppy", "flounce." The best thing you can do for your DD is let not feel ashamed/self-hating for being a female, and frankly you're not going to do that when you evince a misogynistic attitude towards her mates. Certainly talk through bad behaviour she experiences from others. I'm not trying to minimise this. But acting like it has something to do with the fact her friends are female - which is what your use of gendered language suggests - is deeply unhealthy.

AvaLeStrange Tue 02-Feb-16 19:16:28

She has a couple of friends out of school including her best friend, and also keeps in touch with the two that moved via Skype.

There is a sport she enjoys which she used to play at an after school club but that has finished. We have found an alternative club for her to join but she's already doing 3 after-school and 1 other club at the moment so we're waiting until the short-term one finishes. The thing is the sport is very amle dominated, which is fine, but it seems to be friendships with girls that she struggles with and it would be nice for her develop a some more as she only really has her best mate, who is also going to a different secondary.

We have put her name down for an all girls school, as much to our surprise, we all really liked it, but I am starting to worry about that now. I keep telling myself if there are more girls there, there are likely to be more on the same wavelength as her.

Captain I take your point about the different dynamic at camp. We have three more months before we need to pay the bulk of the cost so don't need to make the call just yet. If she was reasonably enthusiastic about it I'd feel differently but she'd really not keen on going and I'm already having an upward struggle to convince her it's a good idea, but we certainly won't rush into pulling her out just yet!

AvaLeStrange Tue 02-Feb-16 20:17:55

mello I not sure it's possible to judge someone's 'attitude' based on a couple of posts on an internet forum hmm!

DD has a life full of positive role models, both male and female, and I don't use those words when talking to her, but they are helpful in describing what has been occurring via a screen,

Unfortunately the friends in question are female and are behaving in the manner described - I'd be here all week if I tried to make the point by giving examples of all that has gone on and been said!

AvaLeStrange Tue 02-Feb-16 20:19:50

...and she's well aware that boys can be tricky characters too - we've already been there with a couple of her male friends!

It does seem to take a different form with the boys though in my personal experience.

shebird Tue 02-Feb-16 20:28:05

Do not underestimate the pressure being put on them by the school combined with hormones. Last year was horrendous for DD largely due to the non stop talk of targets, levels and extra work and early starts for booster sessions. Once the SATS are done and the pressure is off things are a whole lot better. I think they will also realise that pretty soon their time together is coming to an end and the mood might change.

AvaLeStrange Tue 02-Feb-16 20:33:35

I must admit I'm quite surprised by the apparent lack of pressure being put on them re SATs at the moment, although I think it might be a bit different actually in classes, and certainly with one or two teachers.

I guess it's just a case of keep listening and encourage her to stay away from any drama she doesn't absolutely have to get involved in.

Have got some nice stuff arranged with family and out of school friends over half term which will be a welcome relief!

Quoteunquote Tue 02-Feb-16 20:34:32

It makes a huge difference if children do regular activities/clubs outside of school, they then make lots of different friends outside the school environment, so then when school friendships become pressured and toxic, they feel comfortable disengaging while the protaganists work through their stuff.

Have chat with her, try out some new interests, she may well meet other children her age that will be starting at the same secondary school.

TooMuchOfEverything Tue 02-Feb-16 20:39:58

I have a Y6 child - TBH this year's been great so far. The work is a bit dull - mock mock SATs were a particular highlight hmm

I think he's lucky to have a really good teacher this year. A cynical wizened old hack sort. So enjoys the banter. Plus the class is a nice bunch of characters and he does a couple of non school things with other mates which is a really good tip from previous posters. Even just going to see family friends more often would help IMO, maybe go and visit her old moved away friends if that is possible?

Obs2016 Tue 02-Feb-16 20:53:07

Agree. Ds1 has just started secondary and he was SO ready for it!!

UndramaticPause Tue 02-Feb-16 21:33:01

Yanbu my y6 dc is exactly the same. They all just wind each other up, boys and girls. Theyre big fish in a little pond. Roll on the end of the school year!

wine for us all until then

AvaLeStrange Tue 02-Feb-16 21:39:22

wine cheers!

Marniasmum Tue 02-Feb-16 21:44:05

My 4th child is in Y6 and bored to tears

AvaLeStrange Tue 02-Feb-16 21:48:15

Marnia I think there's an element of that too for my DD.

DD was well beyond expected end of Yr6 levels this time last year, and the way the school has interpreted the latest govt guidelines seems to have given them an excuse to let her coast this year.

She hardly mentions school work hmm.

Cococo1 Tue 02-Feb-16 23:41:40

My dd's Y6 was hideous and got worse once SATS were over. All they did was endless sex/drugs ed and argue over who did what in the end-of-year show.

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