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to ask what's on p78?

(26 Posts)
WhatAPigsEar Mon 01-Feb-16 14:59:51

Of the Karma Sutra? As per the radio advert for a gym.
Is it something I should know?

OddSocksHighHeels Mon 01-Feb-16 15:10:05

I have no idea. What's the advert say?

WhatAPigsEar Mon 01-Feb-16 15:22:13

The gf leave a copy of the Karma Sutra next to the bed marked at p78. Bloke finds it and collapses on seeing p78??

The X-Rated
He lies face up on the bed, she turns around and straddles him — so her back is toward him — she then lowers herself onto him. She extends her legs back toward his shoulders, relaxing her torso onto the bed between his feet. With both her legs and his forming an X-shape, she starts to slide up and down. Pornographic. apparently!

WhatAPigsEar Mon 01-Feb-16 15:57:19

Ooh Step I'm enlightend now. Thanks. Wait til dh gets home winkgrin

Frizzcat Mon 01-Feb-16 16:07:38

A kind of X marks the spot then. My dh can go and fook if he thinks I'm getting anywhere near his hairy hobbit feet which is roughly where my head would be if I tried that little number.
What does pg79 say?

WhatAPigsEar Mon 01-Feb-16 16:26:00

grin Fizz hadn't thought about the hobbit feet envy

grin at the hobbit feet, in the full disclosure required I googled it I honestly don't have a copy on my coffee table for MN reference smile

P 79 .....
The Shoulder Stand
Start the Shoulder Stand sex position with her lying flat on the ground face up. She uses her hands to support her lower back and lifts her legs and backside way, way up until she's in a shoulder stand position. The man kneels before her, grabbing her ankles and bringing his knees to her shoulders. He holds her hips and she holds his hands to stabilise. She holds his thighs for leverage and adjusts the angle of penetration. With this position it's best to go slow.

ooh err sounds tricky... enjoy!

hesterton Mon 01-Feb-16 19:03:35

Bloody hell. I'd rather have a cup of tea.

nancy75 Mon 01-Feb-16 19:04:39

Sounds more than tricky, sounds like a guaranteed (embarrassing ) trip to a&e

DawnOfTheDoggers Mon 01-Feb-16 19:05:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user7755 Mon 01-Feb-16 19:06:25

So she is face down with head between between his feet?

nancy75 Mon 01-Feb-16 19:06:46

Dawn, I might give it a go, but I'd have to be fully dressed as anything else would be too horrific to contemplate!

I can't even envisage how p 79 actually works, whats wrong with a safe old missionary i ask grin

Frizzcat Tue 02-Feb-16 13:21:02

Sorry so late back, but honestly I'm glad I didn't rush. Let's break pg79 down.
I lie on my back raise my arse, hips and legs. Resting on my shoulders and balancing on my hands. Whereupon I spread my thighs to allow dh to come at me from above?
I foresee some issues. Tummy and boobs squashed onto to the shoulders means three things. Pain from sitting on your shoulders, thus affecting your ability to MN and eat and things.
One massive double chin that will slowly suffocate you because your boobs and tummy have slipped into your neck.
A big unattractive purple head with bulbous eyes caused by the aforementioned suffocation.

Spreading the thighs at such an angle also risks a gas evacuation, that you have no chance of containing because you can't suffocate, sit on your shoulders and clench your buttocks all at the same (scientifically proven ... I think). In short this should come with a government health warning of death and embarrassment, have a biscuit instead.
NEXT!!

ChipsandGuac Tue 02-Feb-16 13:25:58

Like an awful lot of the Karma Sutra, it sounds exhausting. And, when being mastered by Mr and Mrs Average, not very pretty!

liz70 Tue 02-Feb-16 13:31:59

www.sex.sofeminine.co.uk/relationships/album856252/sex-positions-kamasutra-sex-positions-21211671.html#p1

All 100 positions, tastefully illustrated. grin

Frizzcat Tue 02-Feb-16 14:11:55

I can't see the pictures sad. That's probably a good thing I'd only feel all inadequate

I am soooo not showing these to DH,
<worries he would get the glint in his eye>

Bailey101 Tue 02-Feb-16 18:11:38

Frizzcat you should be writing your own version of the Kama sutra. 'The Kama Sutra for normal people: How that shit really happens' grin

ClashCityRocker Tue 02-Feb-16 18:21:58

Reminds me of 'position of the fortnight' in a magazine whose name escapes me.

They had one called the wheelbarrow once. It was based on the wheelbarrow races you see at primary school sports days.

And, I believe, not technically possible unless s your partner has a thirty nine inch penis

ExasperatedAlmostAlways Tue 02-Feb-16 18:26:18

Oh that sounds fun but in reality I'm sure it would be shite.

Wombatinabathhat Tue 02-Feb-16 18:29:25

pmsl @Frizzcat grin

mrspremise Tue 02-Feb-16 18:50:10

grin at 'thirty nine inch penis'...

The magazine with position of the fortnight was more!

ClashCityRocker Tue 02-Feb-16 19:09:22

Ah yes, more...full of handy hints like 'try humming the national anthem whilst going down on him...the vibrations will drive him wild!'

In reality, blokes would be a bit hmm if you suddenly started humming God save the queen in the middle of proceedings, in my experience.

Nobody's that much of a royalist are they?

In the same vein of those ridiculous dice with an action on one dice and a body parton the other which never seemed to match up. Licking someone's elbow is awkward and not erotic.

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