Aibu to wonder if I could be entitled council housing based on this?(23 Posts)
Hi. Bit of a longwinded one, please stay with me on this one.
I am a mum of 2 and pregnant with my 3rd from a new partner.
I have mental health issues, but have only recently plucked up the courage to speak out. I have depression, anxiety and panic attacks. I believe I am suffering from some kind of post traumatic stress disorder from events I will now explain.
I split up with my childrens father whilst pregnant with our 2nd son in Jan 2012 after much emotional abuse and cheating. Son was born 6 months later - tried to stay ammicable for childrens sakes and he would come to my home to visit kids. 6 weeks after giving birth to my son he forced himself on to me in my bedroom. He carried out the act and I was terrified. I am so angry for just lying there and taking it but I froze and took it. I had stitches after the birth of my son and this was very painful so soon after. I never said a word to anybody, I was so ashamed and thought nobody would believe what my childrens father had done despite not being together. Fast forward 7 weeks and I had a miscarriage - I didnt know I was pregnant. It was a big shock. It was a traumatic situation as nobody knew what had happened. I dealt with it alone. I was poorly, bled alot and got an infection.
I moved out of this house as soon as I could after. Had a settled 2 years with my children but still never told a soul what happened although it constantly torments me.
My landlord in new place offered a 3 bed with garden for same price I was paying for pokey flat as he was raising rent. I took the house believing I was upgrading for my children to have more space and freedom of a garden. Problem is this house backs on to the old old property where the attack took place. The view from every window on the back of this house is that very bedroom.
It is tormenting me seeing that room every day. I need to escape from it, my mental health has hit rock bottom. Im having panic attacks in my home ffs.
I finally opened up to my midwife this week about the full extent of what happened. She has booked me in with Gp for 2 weeks time to take further action on my health.
I am desperate to get out of this property, private rentals are scarce and im feeling so trapped. Do you think I have any entitlement to council housing in my area with regards to the situation and my mental health? I really dont want to take my children out of their schools and the area...they are doing so well. I just want to get away from that room.
Thankyou for reading, i hope ive not warbled on too much.
That does sound horrendous for your. I'm afraid I don't know the answer, but I suggest you try phoning Shelter.
I have no idea but I think sadly that the council wouldn't move someone because of that. That's absolutely not to say I agree with that, you have been through something absolutely awful
I agree try Shelter.
I really feel for you, you've been through a horrendous experience. I'm pleased that you were able to pluck up the courage to speak to your midwife
However the assertion that everyone is entitled to go on the waiting list is sadly wrong these days- pressure on social housing is so great that you have to meet the criteria of your individual LA before they will allow you to apply.
That sounds terrible. Well done for opening up to the midwife and getting help. Really hope you're feeling less anxious very soon. As someone else has said, anyone can go on the list for council housing and then it's a matter of how they prioritise you. But if that doesn't work out, is there any possibility of moving in with your DP?
That sounds horrendous for you. Where I am you would struggle to get priority on the housing list if you are already adequately housed. It may help if your dcs school can send a supportive letter to the council explaining why they can't move school. My dcs schools did this - explaining that a dc was going through bereavement of a parent so the pastoral care they were receiving was essential, another dc had delayed devolpment and the school felt it would be detrimental to him if he moved. Not that it all made much difference.
Get on the list and get as much suppirting info you can from the gp, school, counsellor.
It does come down to numbers though. You are adequately housed others aren't. It sucks. I wish you well.
Not everyone gets on the list anymore. Lots of areas are keeping it to more strict criteria because demand is so high.
You might meet the criteria for your local housing list in general anyway but it depends on your area as to whether your situation will make you a higher priority.
Sorry yes I had to jump through hoops just to get on the list. I was living in one room with my dc but in anothet borough. I had to fight to be allowed on the list of the borough where my dc went to school.
Anyone can apply for a council house as long as they are a British citizen or have certain immigration status - the problem is if you would get enough points to be high enough on the list to be considered. There is a housing shortage in most areas, so only people with higher then average points will be offered a property.
If you have your GP's support, you may be able to get medical points that would help you move up the list and give you a better chance.
In Scotland, anyone is entitled to apply for council housing. Not sure if same applies in rest of UK.
However, offers are then allocated on priority, depending on availability. Criteria for priority differ but in Scotland, homeless people are first and then need is graded after that. Waiting list can be years. (It's 12 years in an area I work in). Available housing is likely to be in hard to let, undesirable areas.
If this is the case elsewhere, then council housing might not be the solution for you. Shelter would give good advice, and it might be worth contacting Rape Crisis. What happened to you was very traumatic, none of it was your fault and you may find it helpful to have someone to talk it over with.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this - horrible chain of events.
To be honest, you would be better off working on the mental health issues rather than trying to get a council property. I know it depends where you live in the country but in my city I don't think that would be classed as more than a Band 3 without an agency fighting your cause. You have a three bed house with a garden at the moment. You could be trading that for floor 8 of a tower block. Not that that is a problem but it's very different.
A housing Association would absolutely put you on their waiting lists for this reason. You are not a time waster.
Google for 'housing associations mytown' and get applying if their lists are open.
You should also apply to the council.
And contact Womens Aid, they may be able to help.
Get supporting evidence from your GP, midwife, HV and anyone else you can think of.
Also, you can phone Rape Crisis, and decide if you want to report the rape to the police.
My local council won't let people on the list if they already have a private rent. I've applied twice just in case and been turned down both times. That's with receiving benefits and health issues. Demand is just too high apparently.
arfarf when me and dc became homeless we went to stay with my dad who lived 10miles from my old home. It was a different borough so they initially said it wasn't there problem and our "new" borough were responsible for housing us. (I think I mean borough, do I mean district?) The dcs schools wrote on our behalf, as did my hv so we were accepted. We are now happily settled in a new home. It was hard going though. Me and 3 of my 4 dc spent the night in my car and my dad refused to have us back before anything happened. Was horrendous. Once we got on the list we were housed within a few weeks.
You get points if you are suitable housed or not so if you are not over crowded then not sure how many points you may get under medical issues. Well done for talking about it and seeking help worth a mention to housing department and ask to join the list to see where it gets you points wise.
They may have a scheme where they help towards deposit or use private landlords they know are welcoming to housing benefit that may be of use.
Yes common now in London for councils to refuse to have you on the list. Given that thousands of people on lists will never ever get a place - if you have very little points they will not put you on it because the possibility of you getting one are so remote. Plus they can cull housing lists by say 20k and it looks better.
I feel for you, i really do, but did you not even think to ask where the house was before you moved in? didn't go look at it or anything?
I'm sorry for what you've been through. We've recently started filling in council forms, and whilst it varies from area to area, we're having a nightmare with my medical stuff - and mine has been on record for ten years. If you've only just started talking about things, are you accessing any treatment? Because otherwise they will just be going on your word, and sadly this doesn't seem to be enough any more.
The wait is very long, even if you're banded highly (which you are unlikely to be just based on what you've said, I'm sorry), it's several years.
So by all means apply, but do not just focus on that. Access some support for your health issues and start to work through your trauma.
Best of luck.
as you may be there for a while, can you block the view with something pretty e.g. semi opaque blinds with a pattern, semi opaque stick on window covering, gauzy curtains.-- But def need counselling as this will haunt you until you work thru it.
Thankyou for taking the time to read and answer. Will follow up some of your suggestions x
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