So I will try to explain this as clearly as possible….apologises if I ramble but I am really upset about this and need some advise about what to next.
My best girlfriend of almost 10 years is getting married in September - very exciting news!
I am a massive tomboy and she is without the closest female friend I have ever had. We met on the first day of college and just hit it off straight away. We have been backpacking together just the two of us and when there is significant drama in my life she is the one I call.
Unlike me she has lots of girlie mates and has asked one of her ex-housemates to be her bridesmaid, who I am also mates with but just not as close.
Now I am a very busy person. I am a trainee surgeon and work normally at least 1 weekend per month and do weird shift patterns due to night work etc. In addition to that I have to attend loads of courses and training outside of my work hours meaning I am often busy when my mates organise socials with little notice.
During medical school my brother died suddenly. My best friend was one of the main reasons (alongside my boyfriend) that I was able to complete my medical degree and qualify as a doctor. She really has been there for me.
Now the issue I need help with……
Bride texts me asking if I am free on a particular weekend in July. It's my brother's birthday and I have been suffering with depression over the last six months which I have kept secret from everyone except my boyfriend. I panicked and said it was only a maybe because of work. I didn't want to stress her out as I know how stressful wedding planning can be.
Over the next 72hrs I realised that I needed to tell her the truth - that it was because of my brother and no other reason.
I don't know what I was expecting but she basically replied…...
"oh well there will be other nights out"
I also contacted bridesmaid to double check if this was the date she had allocated and explained why I couldn't come. She said she knew my brothers birthday was around that time but that the date was fixed and as my availability is so poor she can't change it.
I literally feel heartbroken. I have been crying daily since this happened on Tuesday. I just feel absolutely shattered.
I don't know what to do. should I speak to the bride again?? Should I leave it??
Any advice would be amazing :)
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Best friend is arranging Hen Party on my dead brother's birthday
352 replies
Smiliestar87 · 01/02/2016 00:30
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