to worry about parents' proposed move

(3 Posts)
MovingWarrior Sun 31-Jan-16 22:03:29

My parents they live 30 minutes away from me and about 1 hour from my sibling. We see them about every month-6 weeks.

We find visits difficult. I don't have a close relationship with my parents. My mother is what she would call "shy" and others might call "rude" - basically she doesn't have any conversation so either ignores you or fires a barrage of questions at you so you end up feeling like you are being interrogated or have to keep up a monologue. The DC are 13 and 10, so past the "cute cuddly" stage and my parents don't really know what to do with them. They tend to treat the DC as if they were about 6, and expect them to sit and play nicely while the adults watch. They also frown on any electronic gadgets or TV and whilst I wouldn't let the DC sit on their gadgets constantly during a visit, they are past the sitting and playing with toys for several hours stage and moan that visits are boring.

My parents have now decided they want to live near the coast. The proposed move will put them more 3 hours away from both me and sibling. My parents have excitedly announced that this means we can come and stay for several days and the children can have great fun playing on the beach. I am already worried about how this is going to work out. Even short visits are a trial at the moment. Realistically this also means we will only be visiting maybe 3 or 4 times a year, and since my parents already complain they don't see us enough ...

Also, though they are in good health at the moment, so I am trying not to think about this one, they are in their 70s, so I really worry about them moving further away from their children - if something was to happen to one of them it would be very hard for either of us to offer much practical help (my parents response to this is that they don't expect us to help them).

AIBU to feel very apprehensive about this (please tell me about parents living at similar distances and how well it works for you!)?

BackforGood Mon 01-Feb-16 00:25:04

I don't think the fact your dc find visiting them boring is a good argument to stop them moving wherever they wish, but I do think they should give some serious thought to how they will cope as they age, or if one or the other of them becomes ill or passes away. Ultimately, that is up to them though - although, if your Mum considers herself to be shy, is moving to a new area where they don't know anyone really the best way forwards ?

BackforGood Mon 01-Feb-16 00:25:39

I don't think the fact your dc find visiting them boring is a good argument to stop them moving wherever they wish, but I do think they should give some serious thought to how they will cope as they age, or if one or the other of them becomes ill or passes away. Ultimately, that is up to them though - although, if your Mum considers herself to be shy, is moving to a new area where they don't know anyone really the best way forwards ?

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