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AIBU to want to tak about my daughter? (Trigger warning)

(133 Posts)
Walkthroughthefire Sun 31-Jan-16 20:18:18

My beautiful daughter should be turning three tomorrow.

She was born still in 2013.

I can't believe three years have passed. I feel like everyone wants me to 'shut the fuck up about the dead baby already - you have another one now.'

She was so beautiful and perfect. She had a rosebud pout, a button nose and enormous hands and feet. I was so proud when she was born, even though she was born silently. I just want the world to know she existed and was wonderful and magical. She would get really active when I took baths or listened to music - she could kick really hard. I loved being pregnant with her and am so glad I got that opportunity. I think (hope) she's made me a better person but I wish we could have kept her.

My beautiful star girl.

HooseRice Sun 31-Jan-16 20:19:23

She sounds beautiful flowers

MissJM1 Sun 31-Jan-16 20:20:43


monkeysox Sun 31-Jan-16 20:21:08

Oh yanbu. You'll always remember her flowers

kavvLar Sun 31-Jan-16 20:21:20

Lovely girl. flowers for you OP and for your little star

MadameJosephine Sun 31-Jan-16 20:21:45

Not even a tiny bit unreasonable

I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful little girl, never let anybody tell you to stop taking about her. You are her mother and you loved her flowers

ghostyslovesheep Sun 31-Jan-16 20:22:58

no you are not unreasonable - she sounds beautiful x

ghostyslovesheep Sun 31-Jan-16 20:23:10

no you are not unreasonable - she sounds beautiful x

MrsPatrickDempsey Sun 31-Jan-16 20:23:44

What was her name?

Creampastry Sun 31-Jan-16 20:25:43

You will always have two children in your heart, wherever they may be.

YANBU at all.

RandomMess Sun 31-Jan-16 20:30:24


I can only speak for myself, I don't ever forget about my friends DC that were still born, I don't ever think "shut up/get over it/move on" but I often think what can I say, there are no words.

Never forgotten, always missed, your eldest, your daughter, your firstborn.

nocoolnamesleft Sun 31-Jan-16 20:30:34

Of course YANBU. All parents talk about their children. You are still her mum, and she is still you child. You have as much right and reason to talk about her as any other parent.

cornishglos Sun 31-Jan-16 20:31:54

You should talk about her every day. She is your daughter.

myrtleWilson Sun 31-Jan-16 20:33:39

She sounds beautiful and very much loved. It is my birthday tomorrow and I'll be sure to think of your gorgeous star girl

NinaSimoneful Sun 31-Jan-16 20:33:52

I'm sure she was glad to have such a great and loving momma. I'm sorry your other child/children won't get the chance to meet their big sister but she'll always be your first child. And, although you didn't get much time with her, it was precious and special and very important. flowers

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sun 31-Jan-16 20:33:57

YANBU and don't let anyone ever tell you that you are, she will always be your beautiful daughter. Much love to you flowers

FellOutOfBedTwice Sun 31-Jan-16 20:34:32

Thinking of you and your beautiful daughter flowers

MummaV Sun 31-Jan-16 20:34:40


Walkthroughthefire Sun 31-Jan-16 20:35:18

Thank you for your kind words.

Her name is/was Sylvie.

I am kind of in shock that we've reached this birthday. It is surrreal, can't be real. God, I miss her. My heart aches, my body physically aches. It's easier to write this down rather than tell people. Especially as this is a anonymous forum (although, her unusal name has given me away, I don't mind)

MarshaBrady Sun 31-Jan-16 20:37:14

I'm so sorry, for beautiful Sylvie thanks

StrawberryLeaf Sun 31-Jan-16 20:38:08

Thinking of you and Sylvie (she has a beautiful name).

My daughter died 6 years ago, she died in the NICU. I know the feeling of pride in your perfect child, the child you created.


Slowlygettingthehangofthings Sun 31-Jan-16 20:38:19

I am so sorry that your beautiful daughter was born sleeping. Don't let anyone tell you not to talk about your perfect angel child xx

FarrowandBallAche Sun 31-Jan-16 20:38:28

Beautiful name.
I'm so sorry.
Never feel like you can't talk about her.

BifsWif Sun 31-Jan-16 20:40:42

Your daughter sounds beautiful, and I love her name.

Don't ever feel you can't speak about her. You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow flowers

Claraoswald36 Sun 31-Jan-16 20:43:24

My lovely niece had a stillborn daughter in 2008. We buried her on Xmas eve. So I took dd1 to a funeral at 3 months. They were supposed to grow up together and they can't now. My niece went on to have 2 more beautiful baby boys but I look at them and think there should be 3. Part of the set will always be missing.
I don't pretend to have experienced losing my own child but I hope I can empathise a little bit flowers

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