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to not go to this wedding?

(23 Posts)
BelleMairead2 Sat 30-Jan-16 18:53:33

I am due with my first mid June and a family member is getting married in late July somewhere which would require a short 1 hr flight away. AIBU to plan to not go? I don't know how I will feel after the birth as this is my first

Throwingshade Sat 30-Jan-16 18:54:57

You'll probably be fine. I'd go. But it's one of those personal things. Many Mumsnetters wouldn't go in a million years, others wouldn't blink an eye. Whatever you decide is fine and understandable.

GailLondon Sat 30-Jan-16 18:55:56

Totally acceptable to not go! The baby will only be a few weeks old, I'm sure they will understand. Is it in another country? You would struggle to even get a passport for the baby in time

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Sat 30-Jan-16 18:57:29

It doesn't leave you much time to get a passport sorted for the baby.

WelliesAndPyjamas Sat 30-Jan-16 19:02:09

Close family member? If so, go! Six weeks or so after birth you should be fine assuming it was straightforward-ish. I went to the dorset steam show, three hours away, when my first dc was ten days old post cesarean section, and to a wedding an hour and a half's drive away when my he was 4 weeks old. We survived, enjoyed it, and I'd rather have the memories and photos of the visits to look back on now than not to have gone at all.

Not a close family member? Depends whether you can bear the thought and hassle of flights (I assume it's not going to need a passport for baby?), and if you bottle feed, the hassle of the arrangements for that for such a journey. Alternatively, a cosy time at home with your brand new baby... :-)

Kittykatmacbill Sat 30-Jan-16 19:32:30

Personally I would plan on not going, use the excuse of getting a babies passport takes 3 weeks if you are lucky and if it's 6 weeks after your due date the baby could be only 4 weeks....
but I don't like weddings

Xmasbaby11 Sat 30-Jan-16 19:35:03

I wouldn't have managed it with either of mine. First 6 weeks just a blur of constant feeding and being knackered. I wouldn't even have contemplated it to be honest.

Agree youd be struggling to get the baby a passport.

gamerchick Sat 30-Jan-16 19:42:22

It's impossible to plan. You'll have to wing it... Have a word with the b&g and see if they hold your place maybe.

Scarydinosaurs Sat 30-Jan-16 19:45:07

You will really struggle to get a passport that quickly, you don't know if you'll be able to fly, and you have the hassle of booking flights that you then might not be able to use!

I would say no.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Sat 30-Jan-16 19:48:43

I think it's sensible to plan to not go, hopefully you'll be feeling good and have a lovely settled baby, but you may be both unsettled and you may be still recovering from the birth. So better to say no now than risk "letting people down" nearer the time

RuthSaunders Sat 30-Jan-16 19:54:09

I personally was too much of a mess struggling to cope with sleepless nights and lack of routine.

MaisieDotes Sat 30-Jan-16 19:57:02

It would depend what family member.

One of my siblings: yes, obviously.

One of my 45 first cousins: no.

mouldycheesefan Sat 30-Jan-16 19:58:08

I wouldn't go.

superram Sat 30-Jan-16 19:58:51

Em cs and could barely walk with second but probably ok with second. However, a wedding 4 weeks after my first I said no but would try and pop along (near pils) for a drink, I went to the church them for an hour in the evening. A flight away-wouldn't even attempt it. All those germs on the plane, leaky boobs, tiredness-stay at home and watch Netflix! You can with your first!

gutzgutz Sat 30-Jan-16 20:04:24

I flew with DS1 at 4 weeks to a wedding. He didn't need a passport for where we were going. We were both fine and he slept throughout the evening ceilidh! The only problem was I was breast feeding and didn't have a suitable dress so don't make my mistake!

Actually it was really nice to get away and forget everything for a weekend.

I had a fairly easy birth though, you can't say how you will feel.

shinynewusername Sat 30-Jan-16 20:19:47

I went to the dorset steam show, three hours away, when my first dc was ten days old post cesarean section

I would have a baby purely as an excuse not to go to the Dorset steam show grin

Ipsos Sat 30-Jan-16 20:20:22

I think it depends entirely on you and the baby. I know lots of people might do this, but my ds is 5 now and I would still struggle to do it. We are not travel enthusiasts.

BeaufortBelle Sat 30-Jan-16 20:23:07

Can you say you would love to go but won't be able to confirm until a week beforehand because you can't second guess how you will feel. When DS was six weeks old I'd had two lots of mastitis and was heading into a breast abscess. I'd have as likely flown to the moon as managed a wedding, even a local one. When DD was born I was in sole charge from when she was 8 days old, managing all the nursery runs and was perfectly fine. We went on holiday when she was eight weeks old.

StackladysMorphicResonator Sat 30-Jan-16 20:26:08

Depends if you need a passport - if the baby is 2 weeks late you might struggle to get one in time.

If you want to go, then you probably can, but I'm sure no-one would think ill of you if you politely decline.

29redshoes Sat 30-Jan-16 20:26:29

If it were me, I'd probably want to go if it were a close friend or family member so I would plan on that basis and try and find a way to do it. I do love weddings though.

But it sounds like you don't want to go, and I think that's fine too and completely understandable! If it will stress you out it's really not worth it, just send a nice card and maybe a small gift to the bride and groom.

HumDrumGlumMum Sat 30-Jan-16 20:31:30

I'd plan to go but not book flights.

2nd time round I went camping at 9 days post C-section, festival at 4 weeks and flight abroad at 6 weeks.

1st time resulted in 3 weeks of NICU, so I couldn't have gone then.

SpartaCarcass Sat 30-Jan-16 20:43:10

Is it is somewhere you don't need a passport? In which case maybe - depends how much you want to go and what facilities will be there when you get there. If place to go and feed the baby etc and for you both to rest then why not.
If you are super chilled and used to traveling around - go! It will be an adventure and small babies are VERY easy to travel with - all they do is sleep and feed.
Lots of new parents find it hard to even leave the house on time as they are sleep deprived and v precious about the new baby. If you think that's going to be you - don't go. Explain the baby will be possible only just arrived and no passport and all too tricky. Just say you're sorry and have a party when you see them next.

Junosmum Sat 30-Jan-16 20:56:35

If baby is late you won't have time to get a passport (high season and you need the birth certificate). So I would say it's sensible to plan not to go.

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