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To think my friend's DP is financially screwing her with their holiday?

(76 Posts)
AyeAmarok Sat 30-Jan-16 16:18:00

Not my business, I know... But she told me and I'm shock

My friend is a primary teacher, and her BF/DP and her are planning their (first, as a couple) holiday in the summer. As she's a teacher she can only go during school holidays.

Her BF has a more normal job with shifts, fewer weeks of holiday but obviously can be a lot more flexible than her about when he can take them.

Because they want to go on holiday together, they have to go when she is off and it will cost more. So between them they have rationalised that it's fair if she pays the difference between what it would have cost him to go in term time to the same place.

I didn't ask the cost difference as I was struggling to formulate words.

She seems to think it's fair enough, as he'll be a lot more out of pocket because of her. I think WTAF. I doubt it's a difference of 50 quid, probably hundreds (they're going abroad)? She seems to really like him sad

HIBU, isn't he?

I can't be alone in thinking that this is a VERY unattractive trait? Or is this fair and I'm being harsh?

ImperialBlether Sat 30-Jan-16 16:19:24

He sounds horrible! She should tell him to sod off.

honeysucklejasmine Sat 30-Jan-16 16:19:34

Oh gosh. Yeah, that doesn't sound right.

sphinxster Sat 30-Jan-16 16:20:15

Crikey! What a selfish tight arse.

RudeElf Sat 30-Jan-16 16:20:36

Ugh! She needs to run. This is only the start.tell her to get out now.

Ginkypig Sat 30-Jan-16 16:21:14

He sounds horrible

vEGANvERA Sat 30-Jan-16 16:24:12

Fuck that. He needs to go when he wants. Arse! Your friend should run!

Ginkypig Sat 30-Jan-16 16:24:43

My dp can only go on term holiday time but we still split equally, normally one pays hotel other pays travel or something like that.

I would never dream of asking him to pay more, why would you if your in an equal relationship you share things equally.

I could prob get a super cheap deal at other times of year but then I'd have to go alone so it would defeat the purpose!

ImperialBlether Sat 30-Jan-16 16:24:59

I think if he earns a very low salary and she obviously earns more, and if he just couldn't afford a holiday in school holidays, then I could see why she would say, "Look, I'll pay for X, Y and Z on the holiday if you can book in school holiday time."

If he earns the same as her, though, then no, he should tell her not to be daft and to pay the same.

AyeAmarok Sat 30-Jan-16 16:26:11

I have literally never heard of ANYONE doing this. I cannot get my head around it. But I am aware that with money I am not the sort who keeps count between friends IYKWIM. So this is just so bizarre that someone would do this in a relationship.

So it's not normal then.


Katenka Sat 30-Jan-16 16:28:39

It's not normal.

However in some circumstances I could understand.

For example he is a low earner and can't afford a term time holiday and she is really pushing for them to go abroad.

Ok just the one circumstancewink

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Sat 30-Jan-16 16:31:39


He sounds like a complete knob.

icanteven Sat 30-Jan-16 16:31:46

This is a man who will make her pay "her" share of the mortgage and bills during maternity leave.

PegsPigs Sat 30-Jan-16 16:31:55

My DH is a teacher/coach so can only take holidays in school holiday time. Not once has it occurred to me to charge him a "school holiday supplement" for the career choice he has made!

JeanSeberg Sat 30-Jan-16 16:31:59

What's he like in general?

HermioneJeanGranger Sat 30-Jan-16 16:32:03

Can he afford to pay school holiday prices? They are extortionately expensive.

AyeAmarok Sat 30-Jan-16 16:32:24

I don't think there is too much difference between their salaries. She's a teacher and think she's on about 30k or so. He has a skilled manual job, has an element of danger (makes it sound more exciting than it is!) so it pays well enough, above average at least, plus he does a fair bit of overtime.

They don't live together yet officially, but spend pretty much every night together. No DC.

Still not okay though, is it. It feels tight of him. Worse than tight, mean? Exploitative almost. She doesn't seem to think so. Gah.

LIZS Sat 30-Jan-16 16:34:57

Isn't it between them? It would be cheaper if they went at a half term. Having said that it does set an uneasy precedent.

YaySirNaySir Sat 30-Jan-16 16:35:43

Mr.Mean rather than Mr.Right.

whois Sat 30-Jan-16 16:37:25

He's a dick. They should do something cheaper to suit budgets rather than her paying the term/holiday price differential.

expatinscotland Sat 30-Jan-16 16:37:40

Gawd, what a tight mother fucker. She's fucking deluded. Show her this thread.

LeanneBattersby Sat 30-Jan-16 16:37:57

I guess if the scenario is: "I'm sorry I just can't afford those prices so I won't be able to afford to go on holiday with you." "That's ok, I'll give you the extra so you can come." Then that's fine.

But if the scenario is: "I'm not paying that! You should pay the difference for me because it's your 'fault' you're a teacher". Then that's not ok and I'd be finishing the relationship.

DustOffYourHighestHopes Sat 30-Jan-16 16:38:01

Yikes, wouldn't touch him with a barge pole.

RudeElf Sat 30-Jan-16 16:38:17

This is a man who will make her pay "her" share of the mortgage and bills during maternity leave.


ImperialBlether Sat 30-Jan-16 16:38:41

In that case, if their salaries are equal, then he's being very tight. She must be really loved up not to see that.

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