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AIBU?

To want to get rid of a lot of DD's presents?

179 replies

lill72 · 30/01/2016 15:49

Over the years DD has been given many things by my MIL in particular, that include a handmade quilt and other things for her room. She asks me what kind of quilt I would like, but then never really listens to me anyway and goes ahead and just makes what she wants. So I end up with room decor that does not really fit into the room. Even though I sent her a photo of the room. So I end up with this mish mash of thinsg in her bedroom and I would really like to do it my way and have it with all the things I like. Feel slightly torn. Not big in the grand scheme of things, but along with all the Dora tshirts and Frozen pyjamas is clogging up the small bedroom with things I despise. Any ideas on how on how to manage this? Will i ever have the room I want? Not big in the big scheme of things, but impacts every day if you know what I mean!

OP posts:

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RubbleBubble00 · 30/01/2016 15:51

isn't your daughter coming to the age where she can choose what she likes for her room?

BertrandRussell · 30/01/2016 15:51

How old is she?

lill72 · 30/01/2016 15:52

She is 5. I am happy to let her choose but for now she is happy with me decorating and I'd like to be able to while I can! It is the kind of thing I love to do.

OP posts:

Fyaral · 30/01/2016 15:53

Its DDs room so why cant she pick and have it mismatching. Think of it as eclectic. I would keep anything handmade. I have three handmade rugs from my Grandmothers in my house that I had since childhood. I would be heartbroken if my mum had chucked them.

lill72 · 30/01/2016 15:53

I also have a one year old so I'd like to be able to decorate her room the way I'd like - for a while anyway!

OP posts:

NightWanderer · 30/01/2016 15:54

How does your daughter feel though? Does she love all this stuff grandma gives her? It's just a room, not Pinterest. If your daughter is happy then I'd let it be.

Fyaral · 30/01/2016 15:54

Remember its her stuff and beloved memories, not yours.

FrasierCranium · 30/01/2016 15:54

...but it's her room

im guessing this is more about your MIL than anything else..?

Abbinob · 30/01/2016 15:54

its not even your room so as long as your DD is ok with it just leave it. Other a colour scheme to match the stuff?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 30/01/2016 15:54

At 5 afraid you've missed the boat, and you should probably have put your foot down several years ago. Your daughter is of an age where she should pick the theme for herself, it's a lovely thing for them to do.

Floggingmolly · 30/01/2016 15:54

Don't get rid of a handmade quilt made for your dd by her grandmother . "Having the room you want" shouldn't really come into it, unless Granny is actually coming round and painting the walls while you're out
Let your dd have the room she wants.

Fyaral · 30/01/2016 15:56

Even if you redorate, please keep and store anything handmade for your daughter.

lill72 · 30/01/2016 15:56

I am not going to get rid of the quilts as she spent a lot of time on them. I really love interior design and styling a room and maybe from working in advertising and art direction, you kind of become a bit obsessive about the way things look! I am fine with eclectic, but there is a difference between this and mismatching!

OP posts:

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 30/01/2016 15:57

So I end up with this mish mash of thinsg in her bedroom and I would really like to do it my way and have it with all the things I like.

Whose room is it - yours or your kid's?

FrasierCranium · 30/01/2016 15:58

Well that's all very well and good, but it's still your daughters room.

Don't think she'll thank you for a room straight out off Houzz if it has none of her treasured possessions in it...

lill72 · 30/01/2016 15:59

I would never get rid of the quilts!!! I would store at worst.

I feel so bad about the Dora tshirts - I use as pyjama tops. I feel bad she is spending money so try and put everything to use.

My DD likes the things I have chosen for the room - I'd just like to make it perfect for her. She is not being particulary directive about room decoration YET, so while I have the chance!!!

Guess it is just that thing when you have a child, you have this dream of the perfect room.....

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 30/01/2016 16:00

Don't try to "style" a 5 year old's bedroom. Nothing is more depressing than a beautifully matched room containing nothing that a normal child would be interested in, and looking like said child is not allowed to actually play in there.

lill72 · 30/01/2016 16:02

I talk to my daughter about the things I want to do with the room and tehre is heaps of her stuff there - dolls house, dress ups, soft toys.

Dont want the room to look out of Pinterest, just not such a mish mash of things that aren't my taste.

OP posts:

mamadoc · 30/01/2016 16:02

Haven't you got the rest of the house to splurge your interior design skills on? I do think it's a bit tragic when people try to have their DCs rooms all perfect and designery. It looks sterile and fake to me.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 30/01/2016 16:02

Does your daughter not want to wear the Dora/Frozen clothing? Or is it that you won't let her?

TeenAndTween · 30/01/2016 16:02

I know what you mean, have been in a sort of related situation.

Clothes you don't like can disappear in the wash for ages and then miraculously be outgrown. And definitely not kept for younger sibling 'no room'

Toys you don't like can be tidied away and are then 'out of sight out of mind' then if not played with for 3 months can go out 'she didn't play with them any more'

Quilts you don't like can be folded up after washing and put in cupboard. 'a bit hot for this time of year' or 'she was being sick so we put it away so it didn't get damaged'

FrasierCranium · 30/01/2016 16:04

...sorry OP I'm sure in real life you're very nice, but I'm finding your posts slightly infuriating to read.

"Me, me me me me ME"

Glad you aren't my mum.

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Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 30/01/2016 16:04

To me, a perfect child's room is one that is warm,cosy and lived in- books and toys that are actually read and played with, not just artistically placed.

Let her choose her decor, let her play in there and make mess and have fun in there, do that OP and it will be the perfect room

YellowTulips · 30/01/2016 16:09

I get it OP.

My MIL insists on buying things for our house - bedding, towels, cushions etc.

I know she is being kind, but it's stuff I want to choose myself. I like decorating and want my home to reflect my taste not anyone else's (DH doesn't give a monkeys!).

I just end up accumulating stuff I don't want/need. Just last week I passed a load of it (all in its original packaging) to a friend who I knew would appreciate it.

What I have done though is pick a piece I did like (ironically a quilt) and designed my guest bedroom round that.

Maybe think about doing something similar?

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell · 30/01/2016 16:12

We found that Granny's blanket was just perfect for playing dolls' picnics on - so it is stored in the box with the dolls/teasets 😉

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