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To not want to shut my dog away?

(464 Posts)
NotthespecialONE Sat 30-Jan-16 14:34:59

Bit of background - DD has had a bit of a rough time at school lately, one girl has gone out of her way to exclude my daughter from the group of girls she's friends with - generally making my dds life very unpleasant at school.
Also she has found it very hard when a new sibling came along a few months ago, she was very jealous and frustrated and her behaviour deteriorated at home.
On the recommendation of her school we involved SS to get her some help, they put in place a wishes and feelings programme for my dd where they allocated her a worker to see her twice a week, one visit at home and one outside of the home environment - first week of visits started this past week.
Lady called me to arrange a day and time for first home visit and asked if I have a dog, I said yes I do and she said the dog would have to be out of the way while she was round as she got bitten by a dog when she was a child and is petrified of them, while I don't doubt that must of been absolutely horrific for her I'm now in a dilemma cos I have no idea how I'm supposed to shut my dog away and to be honest I don't want to have to shut my dog away.
On the first visit I put my dog with my ds in his bedroom but at times I could hear my dog scratching and whining at the door to get out! He's never been shut away anywhere so it must of been very confusing for him! Second home visit is arranged for this Tuesday, ds has a football match after school so won't be home to have the dog in his bedroom, I don't want to shut my dog away in any room on his own.
I want my dd to continue on the programme as she has really enjoyed the first week and hopefully it's going to really beneficial for her but what am I going to do with my dog on her visits?

UndramaticPause Sat 30-Jan-16 14:37:04

Put the dog away. It's standard for when a hcp visits and they should have warned you about it when booking. It does sound as if the dog comes before your dd

GingerNutRiskIt Sat 30-Jan-16 14:38:19

Is it really that bad for your dog to spend an hour in a different room whilst your daughter gets the help she needs?

UmbongoUnchained Sat 30-Jan-16 14:38:28

Well what's more important, the dog or your daughter?

Griphook Sat 30-Jan-16 14:40:03

Could the sw and dd sit in a room with the door closed, and then when she leaves lock the dog upstairs for a few minutes

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Jan-16 14:40:50

I'm a dog lover and I have a dog that dislikes being shut in the bedroom/kitchen, but on the rare occasion we've had to do it he got over it.

If SS feel your daughter's problems are serious enough to
allocate her a worker to see her twice a week, then I suggest you shut the dog in another room and get on with it.

Unless of course you know someone who can take him out for a walk while the visit takes place.

tabulahrasa Sat 30-Jan-16 14:41:05

Give the dog something to chew on and stick it in a room hmm

seastargirl Sat 30-Jan-16 14:41:26

Try and book a dog walker for the time of the appointment or get a friend to take for a walk. You need to prioritise your daughters appointment which sadly means potentially upsetting the dog.

Juanbablo Sat 30-Jan-16 14:41:27

While I understand that dogs are part of the family, your daughter is more important. Shut the dog in the kitchen, utility, garden, whatever. Respect the woman's wishes to not be near an animal she is scared of whilst she tries to do her job, which is helping your daughter.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Sat 30-Jan-16 14:41:44

Garden? Kitchen? Where will you be during this meeting?
I have two dogs and I think it is standard to keep them away from unknown people in case they don't like dogs. Some people would be very scared of dogs but might not day anything. I don't want any guest in my house feeling uncomfortable.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 30-Jan-16 14:42:27

What about the car? I used to take my dog everywhere

NerrSnerr Sat 30-Jan-16 14:44:05

I'm an hcp and some dogs are a nightmare, jumping on you etc. I think you need to put the dog away.

goodnightdarthvader1 Sat 30-Jan-16 14:44:33


I get what you're saying, OP, and you're NOT saying you'll put the dog before your DD. Personally I think if she had such a problem with dogs she should get therapy or another job. Having said that, I always ask my visitors if they're ok with cats because it's polite. However, I would be a bit narked if anyone, say a HV, instructed me unprompted to put my animal in another room because they are scared.

I think you'll have to manage on this occasion though. Do you have a garden?

NerrSnerr Sat 30-Jan-16 14:44:50

Most people put their dogs away when I visit anyway, it's usually the standard for the dog to be in another room.

NotthespecialONE Sat 30-Jan-16 14:44:56

Dog isn't more important than my daughter but this is my dogs home! He's not used to being shut away in a room for 60 - 90 minutes out of sight on his own. I don't want my dog getting distressed.
I should have been more specific - he can't just be in another room to this lady, he has to be completely shut away out of sound and sight as she is petrified of seeing or hearing dogs! Her fear is on a massive scale - understandable if she was bitten.

goodnightdarthvader1 Sat 30-Jan-16 14:46:26

Sorry, THAT is unreasonable. She can't see or hear the dog? FFS.

Iusedtobecarmen Sat 30-Jan-16 14:48:53

OP I agree with you!
Its the dogs home not the bloody womans. I get very irritated when grown up act like all dogs are savages. Obviously a dog that wasnt friendly wouldn't be left in the room. Maybe the worker is in the wrong job going into strangers homes if shes nervous of dogs!
I have had people in the past say put dog out to me. I probably have done it ,but I wouldn't now. Thing is, I probably would put dog out if they didnt demand it but once they do, it gets my back up.
Of course it doesn't harm the dog to be out of the way but that's not the point.
And whoever said putting dog bedore daughter is ridiculous. Nowhere has op said that. Shes putting dog before a stranger.

ridemesideways Sat 30-Jan-16 14:49:37

IMO dog owners should have the facility and training confidence to shut their dog away. It's basic manners. It's also completely normal and expected for health care professionals and other visitors to make this request. Of course, you have the right to decline, and she then has the right to not attend. SS would take a dim view of it, mind.

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Jan-16 14:51:24

Ahh come on now really?

She mustn't be able to even hear the dog?

Righto then.

Nanny0gg Sat 30-Jan-16 14:51:30

Oh. That's too much.

Keeping him away is perfectly reasonable. Keeping him out of sound is impossible!

Don't suppose he has a crate he would sleep in?

Iusedtobecarmen Sat 30-Jan-16 14:52:44

Darthvader you are spot on.
And OP the social worker sounds like a fucking idiot. Definitely in the wrong job working in the community! I would tell her not to bother coming back.
Get you daughter allocated to someone else.
If it was me, I wouldn't be able to warm to someone like that anyway.

ridemesideways Sat 30-Jan-16 14:52:57

She actually said that to you? hmm Regardless, you said you have no idea how to contain your dog. This is unacceptable. You will have to arrange for your daughter to go elsewhere then?!

tabulahrasa Sat 30-Jan-16 14:54:00

Out of sight and sound isn't unreasonable though...

If I stick my dog in the kitchen with a kong you wouldn't hear him...what is there to hear?

NotthespecialONE Sat 30-Jan-16 14:54:20

I've never come across anyone with a fear of dogs on this scale, she hid round the corner of the house when she knocked on her first visit I had to come out and reassure her my dog was out of the way in my ds bedroom.
Dd wanted to bake cakes with her on first visit, you could hear the dog scratching at the door upstairs occasionally and she was really on edge asking if there was anyway the dog could escape from the bedroom - she was really sweet and apologetic, she kept explaining she got bitten by a dog and she didn't mean to be a pain.

PinkSparklyPussyCat Sat 30-Jan-16 14:54:38

When I read your first post I thought you were being unreasonable but to have to shut the dog away so she can't see or hear it? It sounds as thought she's in the wrong job. Why do a job that means she has to go into people's houses with such a severe phobia?

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