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Children's birthday party

(14 Posts)
NZmonkey Fri 29-Jan-16 20:21:33

Does it really take two parents to take a 4 year old to a birthday party and stay with her for the 2 hours, DP apparently can't go by himself and wants me to go too. I'm on call for work and its 45min out of town. So if I get called we will have to leave the party. AIBU to expect him to take her to the party alone.

Here is the drip feed I'm not her mum just her SM.

Grilledaubergines Fri 29-Jan-16 20:23:21

That's ridiculous. He needs to take her. That's his job when she's on his watch.

What's his reasoning?

Grilledaubergines Fri 29-Jan-16 20:24:37

And absolutely no offence to you but I'd be pissed off with him if I was the child's mother and knew the father was behaving incapably.

Alicewasinwonderland Fri 29-Jan-16 20:28:25

I am sure he can survive on his own for 2 hours there! 4 yo are not that scary. Even if you were not on call, I would take the opportunity to have 2 hours of peace (and get on with things in my house).

You are definitively NOT BU.

NZmonkey Fri 29-Jan-16 20:29:32

His reasoning is he doesn't know the other parents so will feel uncomfortable and leave early so DSD misses out. I think its a great opportunity to meet the other parents.

RubyRoseViolet Fri 29-Jan-16 20:42:25

Well no he obviously doesn't really 'need' you to go but he clearly feels a bit shy and would appreciate your support. If you have work or other plans then fair enough but I'd do this with DW if she asked and vice versa. Sometimes those sorts of parenting situations can feel unbearable and I say that as a very outgoing person. I'm not suggesting you're wrong not to fancy it though!!

KatyN Fri 29-Jan-16 21:49:42

My husband would hate this. Whenever we get an invitation through I negotiate all sorts of stuff for him to do while I go to the party, but I love chatting and he hates it.

I can see why he'd like you to go, but if it's not practical he needs to man up I'm afraid. He can always spend time on his phone, or sit quietly in a corner (last time my husband took our son to a party he took a posh coffee and a book -it was in a soft play not someone's house!)

WonderingAspie Fri 29-Jan-16 21:53:57

That's ridiculous. I've felt awkward at parties where I don't know the parents but I sucked it up for the sake of my child and got on with it. He is an adult, he can take his child to a party without you holding his hand!

Ameliablue Fri 29-Jan-16 22:02:28

It can be nerve-racking accompanying a child to a party when you don't know anyone but it isn't as bad as going to a party on your own without a child and still not knowing anyone as talking about the children, nursery etc. immediately gives you something in common.
If he is worried he will be the only person who doesn't know anyone- he won't be.
If he is worried he will be the only dad there- he won't be.
Often as a parent you have to do things outside your comfort zone.

GiddyOnZackHunt Fri 29-Jan-16 22:11:30

He needs to put his big boy pants on and do it. We've all been there making small talk with a bunch of strangers in the name of the dc's friendships.

There's a couple with a dc who both go (and stay) at local parties for their pfb. No transport or other reasons. That raises more eyebrows than the dad going alone smile

Crazypetlady Fri 29-Jan-16 23:48:09

What would he do if you were not together? If it was just him and his dd would she have to miss out, he can take a laptop etc pretend he's working .

arethereanyleftatall Sat 30-Jan-16 00:07:45

Ridiculous. He goes by himself. If it's beyond him, he can drop and go.

Mmmmcake123 Sat 30-Jan-16 00:34:35

Don't go!
Insist he does, explain it's part of the parenting learning process. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there for the sake of your little ones. In the end you are more mature

CakeNinja Sat 30-Jan-16 01:17:35

How old is she? Old enough to drop and go (entertain himself for the 2 hours)? Where is the party?
I had a party at home for my youngests 'first party for preschool friend'. Other birthdays had only been marked by family affairs. This one was too, but dp and I also had a home One for his new friends.
2 couples stayed 'together' and one other (on her own). It was so awkward having to make small talk with them as I was concentrating on games and playing etc, dp was in charge of the food and drinks and toilet trips and stuff. 3 other DC stayed without any other parents.
When I thought about it afterwards, I conceded at their ages, being 3/4, it wasn't unreasonable for a parent to star because they didn't know us, most of them hadn't been to our house before so they may have felt more comfortable with a parent. Fair enough.
But both mum and dad staying? All I could think was - "do neither of you not have anything better to be doing on a Saturday than sitting round some strangers house drinking tea and eating ham sandwiches and party rings? confused "

So, in conclusion, if she is young, he should be able to cope on his own, and if she is a bit older, ie 6+, she should be okay without him being there. Imo, you don't need to be there at all if you don't want to be.

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