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To want to move out?

(30 Posts)
Gpreceptionist Fri 29-Jan-16 07:36:07

I've been living with a host family since September while I study and it's been great. I found them online. I rent one room and have no contract.

The mum got me gifts for Christmas and is really friendly. Me and the Dad have always got on. There's a teen daughter and we have a good relationship. They've had students living here for years.

But since I got back after Christmas, it's been weird. The dad was always a drinker (6-10 empty cans on the side every evening and then usually more in the pub) but a happy one. Now he's begun to get a bit nasty, e.g. jokingly called me a fat bitch for eating dessert, when I decided not to go to the gym he joked that I was pathetic and laughed at me (I am not fat but average size for a twenty something woman, he is obese/morbidly).

Nothing seriously bad but makes me uncomfy.

Then there was an issue with forks going missing, he asked me 3 times if I'd been taking them and I said no. In the end I bought some to shut him up.

Then I ate a bagel from the cupboard that he said I could help myself to. He came in drunk and said they were for his daughter and not me. I replaced them but felt uncomfortable again, like the goalposts had moved or rules changed without me knowing.

Then I fell asleep in the evening cos I was exhausted and heard him yell that dinner was ready (he does dinner for everyone most nights), and I didn't respond but fell back asleep. I was woken again by him yelling about "why do I slave over a fucking hot oven for hours for no one to fucking eat?". I was scared. I got up and ran downstairs and said sorry for being asleep.

He asks I text him if I'm not coming home one night and if I don't he gets angry and says he worries about me. I'm 26 and don't feel I should have to tell my landlord where I am all the time. I have friends in Brighton from my course and I regularly decide at the last minute to stay on their sofa and he knows this.

He says I do too much washing so I've stopped washing clothes.

Last night I fancied stir fry, so I went to make it. He was cooking roast and I'm on a diet. He was at the pub. The wife looked scared and said "ooh i wouldn't do that.. you know what he's like" and convinced me to put the food away and eat his food instead, then conspiratorially arranged with me that I'd cook it when he wasn't home tomorrow.

I'm woken at 4am every day by him shouting and bellowing at the dog or whatever kitchen implement has fallen on the floor against his will. I'm beginning to feel frightened a lot of the time and not want to come home.

A room has opened up on my college campus and I really want to move out but I'm worried about being rude as I said I'd be here until May.


Allgunsblazing Fri 29-Jan-16 07:38:01

What?!!! Move out love!

cosmicglittergirl Fri 29-Jan-16 07:45:19

What Allgunsblazing said!
He's a weirdo and anyway, it would be way more fun on campus. You could relax and do things under your own steam. I'd advise leaving at all costs.

cupcakelovinggirl Fri 29-Jan-16 07:47:14

Just go! And don't look back!

BowiesJumper Fri 29-Jan-16 07:48:47

100% move! There's no point in being miserable just to be 'polite'.

redexpat Fri 29-Jan-16 07:50:18

Worried about being rude?! You are entitled to have your needs met too. You owe these people nothing. Especially as there is no contract. Move out!

gamerchick Fri 29-Jan-16 07:50:36

You owe them nowt. Run as fast as you can.

Bunbaker Fri 29-Jan-16 07:53:31

Take the campus room. I wouldn't worry about being rude. Run away.

TheBigRedBoat Fri 29-Jan-16 07:54:08

Move, you are not obliged to be treated this way. I wish his wife and DD would do the same as it's very unlikely to be just you he treats this way.

TubbyTabby Fri 29-Jan-16 07:55:06

move out as soon as you can. he sounds dangerous.

londonrach Fri 29-Jan-16 08:10:43

Move out. Find a place today and then give notice.

Grilledaubergines Fri 29-Jan-16 08:14:26

Move out. It'll be so much better for you.

The man is an alcoholic who sounds like his wanker bully tactics, and drinking, have ramped up a gear.

HPsauciness Fri 29-Jan-16 08:17:35

Everyone has said what I was going to say, which is please move out immediately. He sounds a not nice man and it's scary having someone you don't know shouting around you. Get the halls/campus room agreed and then just get your stuff together (ideally when he's not there) and go and then let them know. Take a friend with you if you can. Good luck!

ThumbWitchesAbroad Fri 29-Jan-16 08:18:53

Do get out, you owe them nothing.
If they ask why, tell them! You don't need to be in a place like that when they're not even your family; how awful! I feel so sorry for his wife and daughter sad

ThumbWitchesAbroad Fri 29-Jan-16 08:19:58

If you want a polite excuse, just say that the room on campus is so much more convenient for you and clearly you've overstayed your welcome <looking hard at the Dad> so you'd rather leave before things turn bad.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Fri 29-Jan-16 08:20:25

Sorry, that started as a polite excuse and then got a bit pointed! blush

brummiesue Fri 29-Jan-16 08:49:53

Is this a troll/joke? Of course move out, can't believe you are even asking hmm

Topseyt Fri 29-Jan-16 09:00:15

Just move. Don't look back.

He is hardly being polite to you is he!? So don't worry about being rude to him.

Hell, I would even wait until the minute I was walking out of the door for the last time to list to him my exact reasons for going, but that may be just me being an arsey old goat.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow Fri 29-Jan-16 09:03:21

Secure your new room and move out while he's at the pub or at work.

Leave a note on the kitchen table with your keys and any money you owe. Then block his number.

SevenOfNineTrue Fri 29-Jan-16 09:04:46

Who gives a shit about their 'feelings', give them notice and move out. You can tell them anything, they'll never know the real reason.

tinofbiscuits Fri 29-Jan-16 09:09:15

Definitely move!

shutupandshop Fri 29-Jan-16 09:17:15

Run for the hills. He is an abusive tit. You dont need that shit.

MissFlight Fri 29-Jan-16 09:17:40

Definitely move out. He's an alcoholic, a very unpleasant one at that.

Footle Fri 29-Jan-16 09:26:58

I think they will know the real reason. It's perfectly obvious why you need to leave. Do it !

chillycurtains Fri 29-Jan-16 09:40:20

You need to move out as that doesn't sound very safe for you. I would have your stuff ready to go when you tell them in case he turns nasty when you tell them. It sounds like the alcohol has caught up with him and he's gone from a happy drunk to an abusive one. The wife clears knows too. What a shame for you and his family.

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