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To wish I had slept around a bit

(140 Posts)
Dollymixtureyumyum Thu 28-Jan-16 14:11:51

That's is really
Married 10 years, DH is my one and only sex wise and I am his.
Met quite young and did some heavy petting with others boys but never the full deed.
I love DH but can't help thinking I have never really had great mind blowing sex and now never will.
Anyone else feel this way

Dollymixtureyumyum Thu 28-Jan-16 14:12:56

He is ok and knows where everything goes grin
But I never come away thinking wow the earth moved

FaFoutis Thu 28-Jan-16 14:13:36

I did and I'm glad I did. Not for the mind blowing business (although there was some), but because I'll never wonder what else is out there.

skippy67 Thu 28-Jan-16 14:17:30

Same here. DH is the only man I've had sex with (although I have, ahem, done other things with other people before we got together). I wish I'd put it about a bit before settling down.

Needaninsight Thu 28-Jan-16 14:17:36

There's not really much else out there. Um. Actually, I lie! Yep, some pretty awesome experiences along the way! All out of my system now though.

And this is why my Mum told me never ever to marry a boy I'd met in my teens/early 20's and why I'll be telling my daughter the same.

On the plus side, you won't have any awful regrets like I do either! Swings/roundabouts. I would imagine it's quite common to feel this way though once the 'honeymoon' phase has settled right down.

Dollymixtureyumyum Thu 28-Jan-16 14:17:57

Can it really be how is it in the films FaFoutis?
Blame it on being brought up a good little Catholic Girl and Catholic sex education.
I came so close one to a one night stand, We had gone back to his and he really did know how to touch a women and I chickened out. Blast

harryhausen Thu 28-Jan-16 14:18:22

Yanbu. I met DH when I was 25. He wasn't my first, but I definitely didn't appreciate the fact that I was young, free and single when I was. I just didn't have my shit together, was very unconfident and generally hung around with gay friends. If I'd have known my dh would be my dh I wish I'd met him few years later iyswim.

Dh was a late starter and had only had a few gf's before we met. I wish he'd had more to build up his own experience and confidence.

A crystal ball would have been nice.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways Thu 28-Jan-16 14:19:58

No yabu I think it's only natural to he curious if you have only been with one person.

I got together with my DH really young but we were on and off for first four years. Then after we had my dd we split for about two years and I was with a few other guys in relationships one being eleven months. Every one of them just confirmed for me that my DH was the one. We have been back together eight years and have a great relationship. I'm so glad we had time apart. It must be hard but it would probabky be a disappointment. Its much better with someone you are in love with.

Regarding mind blowing sex, take the bulls by the horns. Have yous experimented loads to see what you like? It's probably only in the past two years wev really started having amazing sex after doing loads of different experimenting.

TwllBach Thu 28-Jan-16 14:20:19

Yanbu. Current DP isn't my first he's my third and I'm 28. He's older than me and has been around the block a bit... Every now and then I do catch myself wishing I had had a bit more fun!

harryhausen Thu 28-Jan-16 14:20:19

Wanted to add we're both in out mid to late 40's now. Things are fine, but yes I do wish for some wild passionate sex!

Dollymixtureyumyum Thu 28-Jan-16 14:20:57

Maybe I will just have to concentrate on DHs technique.
How do you tell a husband that in bed he is not the greatest!!! He says I am amazing and I can tell he means it but I did some serious research after we got together in how to please a man and make him howl. (Not practical research of course)

gabsdot Thu 28-Jan-16 14:22:28

Try working on your current sex life. No reason why it can't be mind blowing. I recommend lubricant and a vibrating ring.

Poshsausage Thu 28-Jan-16 14:23:39

Sigh ... Memories

Dollymixtureyumyum Thu 28-Jan-16 14:23:43

I also wish DH has been around the block and few times and learnt something. I met him when he was 24 and when he said he was a virgin I nearly fainted. He was and still is very good looking and had a hell of a body back then (not to bad now) He had had girlfriends but nothing that went that far.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways Thu 28-Jan-16 14:24:45

You don't need to tell him he's rubbish. What does he needs to improve on?

VenusInFauxFurs Thu 28-Jan-16 14:25:36

Can't you have wild and passionate sex with your husband?

(Currently single and putting it about a bit.)

hollieberrie Thu 28-Jan-16 14:26:18

I've slept around a fair bit! And had many a fling with exciting partners who were amazing in bed but unfaithful / serial heart breakers. Fun at the time but not exactly fulfilling.

Now I long for a kind, faithful partner and a stable loving relationship. It's all swings and roundabouts I reckon - grass is always a bit greener. If you have a happy relationship then imo that is something amazing which no amount of wild sex could compare to.

liz70 Thu 28-Jan-16 14:26:18

I see where you're coming from. 45 here, DH first and only, met at 24, love life not terribly exciting.

I don't wish I'd slept around though, as I really am a bit iffy/squeamish about physical intimacy with random people.

Dollymixtureyumyum Thu 28-Jan-16 14:26:59

Prob TMI but He has never given me oral sex either sadnow I am glad to say I have done that a few times before we met. He says he doesn't fancy it and I would need to be totally bare down there for him to do it. I have fully shaved and hair removed a few times (he says to much stubble) but never waxed. I have fibromyalgia and as a consequence feel pain a lot more then normal.

springscoming Thu 28-Jan-16 14:27:49


liz70 Thu 28-Jan-16 14:29:45

I was also DH's first (he was also 24 when we met.)

peggyundercrackers Thu 28-Jan-16 14:30:28

but yes I do wish for some wild passionate sex!

It's within your capability now though - take the bull by the horns and show him what you want or point him in the right direction. He isn't a mind reader...

Dollymixtureyumyum Thu 28-Jan-16 14:30:43

Just in his favour he is a great husband, so supportive, loving and gives me complements all the time, does housework, works hard, great with DS, but just a bit lacking OK a lot lacking the the sex department.
I just wish he would say something like "I need to fuck you now". throw me on the floor and well you can prob guess the rest grin
It more of a when we are in bed he says "come on top of me" and I do all the hard work.

BillBrysonsBeard Thu 28-Jan-16 14:32:08

harryhausen I could have written your post except my DP had always had a girlfriend since he was 14 and so feels he got it out of his system, which I'm glad of and kinda wish I'd done the same.
BUT if I had slept with the men who I really liked instead of chickening out at the last minute and then backing off, I would have ended up in a relationship with them. And then probably not met DP.
I do sometimes wonder though.. I was 23 when I met him and feel like I'm missing out sometimes. But not enough to cheat or split because I adore him. It's natural to wonder! Many people who have slept around have told me they wish they hadn't, so it's a bit of grass is greener syndrome.

TinklyLittleLaugh Thu 28-Jan-16 14:35:06

I'd say he needs to up his game a bit. How much do you actually love him though if you were contemplating a one night stand with someone else?

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