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To just say, let the house clearence take it!

(198 Posts)
dentydown Thu 28-Jan-16 13:05:14

My distant cousin died (my nan knew her well, she was her first cousin and didn't want to abandon her in death) last September, and left a house. Now she died intestate, so there was a lot of sorting to do, searching the house for a will/photos/legal papers etc.
I've been a bit pre-occupied recovering photos, personal letters and little bits of sentimenal odds and sods for th family to remember her by. We managed to recover a lot of paperwork and hand everything over to a probate company, who are wonderful!
My partner seems to have developed magpie-itis. S was a bit of a hoarder, the property is in a bit of a state and she liked to buy white goods. He has taken a few small white goods with him every visit! (I pay him 70 pounds to get me there and back)
I've taken stuff to clean up and pass to the charity shop (mainly because I don't want to see nice china/nick-nacks chucked)
Now he's talking about the washing machine (still in it's packaging), dishwasher , cookers. And brass ornaments for scrap! I just feel like telling him enough! Let the house clearing take it (they said any photos/personal papers they'll leave to one side).
He's saying i'm being unreasonable because I took ornaments for charity/family mementos. He's making use of the stuff. I even got comments as I was washing up the china (lovely vintage stuff) for the charity shop. "All that work for someone else's enjoyment" urgh!

Arfarfanarf Thu 28-Jan-16 13:09:41

You pay your own partner to take you?
Do you live together or are you just dating?

And who does this stuff belong to? He cant just take stuff surely. If it's got to go through probate that surely means people cant go picking through?

ridemesideways Thu 28-Jan-16 13:11:19

If she died intestate then her things may not just be 'taken' by anybody! It would be up to the person or persons who would inherit her estate. But regardless, if down to me, I would keep a couple of little things to remember her by and see what I could get by selling the rest.

abigamarone Thu 28-Jan-16 13:11:28

Can I just check this - he's helping himself to stuff from the house but charging you £70 a visit?

Oysterbabe Thu 28-Jan-16 13:13:37

What?!
He can't just take stuff.

ridemesideways Thu 28-Jan-16 13:14:37

Or have the probate company instructed a clearance company to clear and sell on behalf of the estate? Then the inheritor keeps anything left after the clearance people are paid?

SilverBirchWithout Thu 28-Jan-16 13:16:30

Get rid of him. Maybe the house clearance company can dispose of him?

patterkiller Thu 28-Jan-16 13:23:10

You could fly to Prague on sleazy jet for £70 and have change for a few Vodka shots. How far is he driving you?

musicposy Thu 28-Jan-16 13:38:10

£70? Is he driving you from Lands End to John O Groats?

FirstWeTakeManhattan Thu 28-Jan-16 13:38:24

You pay your own partner £70 to take you to the house so that he can take stuff?

This is when the term 'partner' means different things to different people.

He sounds lovely.

ZiggyFartdust Thu 28-Jan-16 13:39:46

You are paying your partner so he can go to a dead persons house and steal from her estate?
hmm

Floggingmolly Thu 28-Jan-16 13:40:54

You're letting him into someone else's house to scavenge and paying him for the privilege? Are you a bit thick?

dentydown Thu 28-Jan-16 13:42:09

The house has to be cleared so we can sell the property. I have checked with the case manager and as long as the china/ornaments have no value I can take them to the charity shop. (they are lovely, but not really worth a lot)

He's my partner, he doesn't live with me but we have two children together.

The clearance people are instructed to "dispose" of everything (what they do with it is up to them) The house has a bad rat and mouse problem, so it is assumed all white goods don't work or are unsanitary for use. I wouldn't feel comfortable using any white goods from there.

ZiggyFartdust Thu 28-Jan-16 13:43:22

Who is the "we" that is selling the property? Do you have any legal right to be taking anything from the house? Your "partner" sure as shit doesn't. He's stealing.

Floggingmolly Thu 28-Jan-16 13:44:00

Even those still in their packaging? hmm

bessiebumptious2 Thu 28-Jan-16 13:44:30

hmm something sounds not quite right about this.

GoringBit Thu 28-Jan-16 13:45:54

I'd really resent having to pay £70 to a so-called partner, and he's benefiting both ways; charging you too much and helping himself to stuff he can use/sell. I'd put a stop to both.

FirstWeTakeManhattan Thu 28-Jan-16 13:47:41

Can I just come back to the £70 your partner 'charges' you for him swiping this stuff? For how many miles?

ridemesideways Thu 28-Jan-16 13:48:33

Why does your partner charge you £70? Why does he want to profit from the stuff? Are you living apart for tax credit and benefit purposes?

bessiebumptious2 Thu 28-Jan-16 13:48:53

I think if your cousin died intestate then your partner is currently stealing.

dentydown Thu 28-Jan-16 13:52:20

My priority was getting as much family history as I could out of the house before it was cleared. Although I didn't know her, from various snippets of information I found, my old distant cousin was pretty much a strong female type. (we are still in the process of tracing the other family, so the house is cleared, sold and any remaining monies will be distributed amongst surviving relatives once found).
He's taking the attitude of "well it's going to be dumped anyway, and I'm taking you there and back"

I"m saying "clear it, sell it, anything personal the house clearance will put to one side for me to collect. The house desperately needs a new life and shouldn't stand empty!

LalaLyra Thu 28-Jan-16 13:52:46

Who is administrating the estate? Your partner (and you tbh) need to realise that there are strict rules that have to be followed. If the goods he wants to take have any value then the administrator has an obligation to sell them to maximise the estate.

It's really easy to fall foul of the laws when dealing with an estate and intermeddling can see you personally liable if any of the beneficiaries object to something you have done.

Chillyegg Thu 28-Jan-16 13:53:21

He sounds like a charmer.
I'd stop with the selling and passing on of items incase you get in trouble they might not be allowed to just be sold on. Ie they might be someone else's.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Thu 28-Jan-16 13:54:11

So he is obviously driving you 200 miles there and back (from what he is charging you) to have you there as the official 'relative' while he pinches stuff? Which presumably he then sells or keeps for himself as you don't live together?

Sounds like a prince hmm

Shakey15000 Thu 28-Jan-16 13:54:54

He has ABSOLUTELY no say in this shock Why are you letting him take stuff that doesn't belong to him in the slightest??

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