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WARNING: incredibly trivial AIBU

(55 Posts)
AmberNectarine Thu 28-Jan-16 08:22:00

I am currently engaged in the pettiest squabble ever with DH and I am seeking counsel as to whether IABU.

Yesterday DH asked to borrow my headphones at work (we work together), as he had forgotten his. I gave them to him so he could listen to an online presentation or some such.

This morning after dropping kids at breakfast club I went to plug into my iPod and realised my headphones weren't in my bag as usual. No bother, I thought, he'll give them to me at work. I wanted them so I could listen to music at the gym at lunchtime (I find it unbearable without music). I dropped him a text to ask him to leave them on my desk.

Response: they're at home on the dining table - I left them there for you.

AIBU to think if you borrow someone's stuff, you give it back to them personally, or at least tell them where you've left it, rather than leave it somewhere in the house and expect them to apply their psychic powers/divining rod?

He is refusing to apologise for this minor annoyance as he is adamant he is in the right, which is further winding me up.

Told you it was petty! grin

FishWithABicycle Thu 28-Jan-16 08:47:21


DoreenLethal Thu 28-Jan-16 08:49:22

He is wrong, you are not a mindreader.

He needs to let you have his or go out and get you a spare pair.


TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Thu 28-Jan-16 08:51:12

did he find them on the table?

did he??


LTB! So not BU here.

Epilepsyhelp Thu 28-Jan-16 08:53:06

YANBU. He is definitely BU!

Imnotaslimjim Thu 28-Jan-16 08:54:08

YANBU at all. My DH does stuff like this and it drives me potty

19lottie82 Thu 28-Jan-16 08:55:22

Really? Wouldn't even cross my mind to be miffed.

Lweji Thu 28-Jan-16 08:55:36

If he doesn't apologise, LTB...

...without headphones, next time.

He should either put them back where he took them from or directly to who handed them to him.

KenLeeDibidibidabdoo Thu 28-Jan-16 08:55:44

I think YABU a bit. In our house we dump stuff on the dining room table as we go past and leave post on there for the other person to see, so it would be reasonable for him to do that. I think we need a floor plan of your house to judge further though smile

powerfail Thu 28-Jan-16 08:57:20

Yanbu. He should at least tell you!

Ameliablue Thu 28-Jan-16 08:57:25

He borrowed them at work so that is where he should have returned them or at least actually given them to you at home so that you knew they were there.

RonniePickering Thu 28-Jan-16 09:00:18

Hmm, I'm with him I'm afraid. You live together, it makes more sense to me to give them back at home.

Obviously if you only worked together, him leaving them on his dining table would be unreasonable.

AmberNectarine Thu 28-Jan-16 09:07:07

He tends to leave all his crap stuff on the dining table but I keep mine in assigned places. I think either giving them back to me in person or saying 'I left your headphones on the table, thanks for the loan' would have been nice.

It's less the actual act of not returning, more the refusal to apologise and calling me 'intransigent' (I think he has recently learnt this word and is pleased with himself as it's been used a few times lately) because I won't concede he is right!

AmberNectarine Thu 28-Jan-16 09:08:08

Oh and our dining/living area is L shaped and the dining room is in the top of the L part so no need to walk past in the morning.

BillSykesDog Thu 28-Jan-16 09:12:49

LTB. Even better, I have the number for a hitman. HTH.

GruntledOne Thu 28-Jan-16 09:14:11

YANBU. Has he now found his own headphones? Clearly he needs to let you have them today.

MerryMarigold Thu 28-Jan-16 09:15:09

YANBU. What's his argument for being right? That you should have just known he was leaving them on the dining table? Does he usually apologise for being wrong? Why is he calling you intransigent when he is being myopic and obtuse?

Lesson learned: don't loan him stuff again! And teach him a new word every day so he doesn't get addicted to intransigent.

gleam Thu 28-Jan-16 09:15:49


AmberNectarine Thu 28-Jan-16 09:19:39

I like the idea of a new word every day: today's might be 'contrition'.

He does have form for getting defensive over very minor things. Silly man. It doesn't actually matter, but when I was told I should have called him to ask where they were it irked me!

AmberNectarine Thu 28-Jan-16 09:20:35

Oh and he doesn't know where his headphones are - in the pocket of one of his jackets probably. Further strengthening my argument for 'a place for everything'...

Lweji Thu 28-Jan-16 09:20:37

Hide his stuff

seafoodeatit Thu 28-Jan-16 09:20:48

YANBU, if you borrow something you give it back or put it somewhere the person is most likely to look i.e the place you found it.

APlaceOnTheCouch Thu 28-Jan-16 09:27:11

YANBU and I feel your pain. DH borrowed my car and when I went into it yesterday morning there was no car seat, blanket or my parking permit. He'd left them on the coffee table in the house. Was that where he'd found them. No!

BillSykesDog Thu 28-Jan-16 09:30:32

Headphones make brilliant garrottes.

AlisonWunderland Thu 28-Jan-16 09:33:38

He should have made it clear where they were.

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