Footballs !

[pinkydinkydoo13]

Hi Everyone .
I m being driven insane by my neighbours child and their footballs. I'm trying to be reasonable but it is becoming increasingly difficult. We have recently after years of saving started to get our garden the way we want it. We have had landscaping done, refenced and purchased a lot of beautiful plants. Although its not finished yet I m thrilled that we are getting somewhere near . The problem is this... we are regularly and by that I mean at least 3-4 times per day up to 15-20 times per day in summer having footballs flying over the fence damaging plants and on occasion hitting windows not to mention the constant slamming of the ball against the fence, which makes it extremely unpleasant to sit out.We didn t renew that section of fence as the neighbours said they wanted to do something else. However our fence that is there is smashed to pieces by the footballs banging against it. We also have an elderly dog , who is rather deaf but loves nothing more than lying in the sun. It came to our attention that when the balls came over the neighbours would lift the child over the fence to retrieve them. Our dog is lovely but due to concern for the child should anything happen with the dog we put screening up to make it higher. This did not stop the problem as they now just bringing him round, undo the 6 ft gate and let him in that way despite being asked not to. I have broached the subject numerous times with the mum but there is always some excuse and poor me comment, or ooh I'm so sorry, but nothing changes. What can I do ? I have older children of my own and know its difficult to occupy them sometimes but this is ridiculous. Or am I just being grumpy ?

[DamsonInDistress]

Get a lock for the gate for a start so that they can't get in at all. Puncture every ball you pick up with scissors before handing it back.

[Sunnymeg]

Definitely get a lock for the gate. If the neighbours complain tell them that you have had to fit one as it is now a requirement for your insurance policy. Also when they ask for the ball back, I would say that you'll pop it over the fence and then wait until nightfall before doing so. As long as you have promised to give the ball back, then there's not much they can do about it.

[pinkydinkydoo13]

I think we will have to get a lock. We didn t originally as our kids tend to come in and out that way. We do bolt it but they still come through We do ask him to wait but last time I said I was busy ( I was cooking tea) they came back with mum who sing songed at me that she had to come as the child said we were taking too long and had called her a meanie . Unbelievable!! When I ve mentioned our concerns the dog , which are actually for her childs wellbeing she just says oh its fine when actually if god forbid something did happen it would be a different story. To be fair I have heard the dad say to be careful but then he built a goalpost in front of the fence. I really wouldn t mind if it was now and again but its really getting me down now. I ve just gone outside and found one of the plumes on my large ornamental grass is snapped off. It is windy but there is also a football at the base of the plant, I presume from this morning, so who knows !!😠

[honeysucklejasmine]

Yeah, I think I would warn them that I would return balls once a day, in the evening. And definitely get a lock for the gate. They should not be trespassing on your property.

I'd also work on not answering the door to the parents either, or only opening it to remind them that you will return the balls all at once at, say 9pm, so please go away. although I am a coward so would prob just refuse to open door

[pinkydinkydoo13]

We do ignore the door if we can as once she comes in she s here for ages . She knew we were at the dentist a few weeks ago but came round anyway (my 15y o had stayed st home) then said to me the next day oh you were out for ages I was going to ring you to find out what was going on !!!!! I think the problem is she sees us as best friends ( I don t) and in her mind that gives them the go ahead to take advantage of our time and property and doesn t take our concerns seriously.

[pinkydinkydoo13]

Ooh just to clarify, we don t leave the dog in the garden. She has her bed in the conservatory so we open the doors so she can wander in and out as she wants . I work from home so she s not unattended . Didn t want to seem like I was moaning about footballs the abandoning the dog in the garden all day

[Andrewofgg]

Lock the gate and tell them that footballs can be collected once a week - and name a time window when you will always be in, preferably one as awkward for them. When they show up have the balls ready by the door and just hand them over and close the door. TNS about this.

[Sallyingforth]

I'd also give her a bill for replacement of a damaged plant. Just a small one to establish the principle that breakages have to be paid for.

[whois]

Get a look. Puncture ball and say the dog did it.

[RubbleBubble00]

Some people just dont have manners. My boys are only allowed those very light beach ball style footballs as they don't do much damage. I restrict them to a couple of hours football a day and def don't ask for footballs - they have to wait until they are thrown back, if that's a week so be it

[BastardGoDarkly]

You're going to have to get a bit more forceful.

My son is football mad, we thought he could control his football in our large garden, bit it went over and broke the neighbours pane in his greenhouse. We were mortified and paid for and fixed it.

Since then he can only play football at the park, he's ok with it, and our neighbour still talks to us :)

[pinkydinkydoo13]

Thanks Everyone.😊. Had almost convinced myself I was being unreasonable. As I mentioned I would have no issue if it was an occasional thing, its the frequency and attitude. I guess for most people a 6ft bolted gate would be enough of a message but clearly not for our neighbours. I do think its only a matter of time before a conservatory is broken so lets hope the dog isn t in there at the time or they will be receiving the vets bill. Its her place where she s happy and the sad reality is as a 13 y o Lab she doesn t have a lot of time left and I m not going to disrupt her by moving her because of their inconsiderate behaviour. The ball which possibly damaged my plant yesterday has been left where it was but there is another ball in one of the other flowerbeds this morning so have just left it and am waiting for the knock 😠

[pinkydinkydoo13]

Sorry that should read conservatory window is broken *

[pinkydinkydoo13]

Wish you lived next to me 😊 I m really not trying to stop him playing just to be a bit more considerate. Your approach is great wish they would do the same. To be fair to the child he s getting mixed messages. As I said earlier I ve heard the dad tell him not to hit the fence but then he built a permanent goalpost 5 inches in front of it !!??!! So pleased we didn t put new fence there it would be smashed by now 😠

[BastardGoDarkly]

If the ball hits your elderly dog it will hurt :( are you going to say something when they knock?

[pinkydinkydoo13]

Thanks for the reply . You sound like a lovely considerate neighbour 😊 Accidents do happen and I accept that fully. You were very pro active in dealing with this in a positive way but I ve got a feeling it would not be the same she would try to shift the blame or play the victim . Apparently he s not allowed to kick the ball towards their house as he ll break the glass doors but evidently it doesn t apply to ours. I think you re right the time has come to have words or summer will be a nightmare

[GingerMerkin]

People living nearby used to put all balls in a pot by their front gate with note saying to help yourself - until the pot got taken too!

[GingerMerkin]

I would explain to your neighbours that you have had to start locking your gate as have been getting intruders on your property and had to involve the police.

Give your lovely elderly dog a cuddle from me.

[pinkydinkydoo13]

Aww, thank you will do 😊. The last time she had her check up at the vet they detected a heart murmur, which they thought was just age related. She s fine, but of course I worry about her more now. She has vet prescribed meds and glucosamine supplements for arthritis but still dashes round chasing her tail at every opportunity 😁

[Twinkie1]

If give the balls back punctured until they got the message. Blame the dog.

[norayitwasyou]

I'd agree with giving the ball back once a day, but I'd caution against acts of criminal damage such as deliberately puncturing the ball.

[ChampaleSocialist]

Its annoying when you cant even enjoy your own little bit of space. I think you need to be straight with them and ask them to put up a net between you.

[DesertOrDessert]

If the kids need access through the gate, could you put a padlock with a number code on it? Your kids can get in, hers can't.
Yes, yes yes to saying "I'll throw the balls back later", and make sure its after bedtime. But equally, I sometimes throw balls back before they have been asked for, if its convenient to me. Saves a knock on the door.

[Grapejuicerocks]

just lock the gate and don't return the balls regularly. Perhaps every couple of days. Say you are locking the gate for their own safety. The dog is now elderly and ill, she's alesdy snapped out of pain a few times and you are worried she will injure the child. Of course you will be doing everything in your power to avoid this, hence locking the gate.

[pinkydinkydoo13]

I know we ve spent a lot of money , time and hard work and its still ongoing so its soul destroying when you go out and see things damaged or just sit down for a quiet coffee and it starts. What happened several times last summer was that we d sit down to eat out there and it would start or they d be shouting over to our kids so we d end up coming back in. My husband is in the process of building us a gorgeous cabin at the bottom of the garden so me and the girls can have a sewing / homework/ reading room but I m worried as soon as he sees us go out the smacking against the fence will start as is usual the case. I m ignoring the balls that are out there at the moment and waiting to see if she brings him round after school for them if so I will discuss with her.