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Not to get a baby on board badge?

(14 Posts)
Msrichardofyork Wed 27-Jan-16 14:23:04

Third pregnancy. Second ended in late term stillbirth. Commute on tube through London daily. My husband wants me to get one as he's worried about me overdoing it or falling over. But a) I haven't used one in my previous pregnancies and didn't feel much need till the end and b) I'm quite an assertive person and totally feel like I can ask for a seat if needed.

This may be silly, too, but I feel the badges kind of encourage the 'no one must talk or make eye contact with anyone else on the tube' rule. I like to see the good in people and, while I've rarely never been offered a seat when carrying my toddler child (which I find harder than carrying a bump in general!), as soon as I've asked politely I've had multiple kind offers. I don't see why it won't be the same if I need a seat in pregnancy.

My husband thinks it's better etiquette to wear the badge for some reason...who is right?

AbbeyRoadCrossing Wed 27-Jan-16 14:26:55

Well you're both right in a way as you shouldn't wear one if you don't want. But as a person who is happy to give up their seat I like them as I know I'm not making a massive error offering my seat to someone who isn't pregnant but looks it!

I was also happy to ask for a seat if I felt unwell but as I carried small and had a coat on the badge made it obvious why I was asking

AbbeyRoadCrossing Wed 27-Jan-16 14:27:23

And flowers for your second baby

MotherKat Wed 27-Jan-16 14:30:21

I have the badge and find it helps, have had lots of nice people give up chairs, carry my case upstairs for me, and on one notable occasion actively protect me from an agressive person, but i habe been very poorly and therefore not my usual bolshy self.
In the end yanbu, it's up to you what you wear, it did deflect one of those fat shamer hipster gits though.

scribblegirl Wed 27-Jan-16 14:30:26

Totally your call. That said, I would get one if I were PG.

1) I never offer a seat to someone without one for fear of offence.
2) if someone is wearing one, I will offer without them having to ask.
3) if you asked to have my seat without one, I might be a bit hmm. I know that's terrible, that there are stacks of hidden disabilities - and obviously I would give you the seat - but personally I'd be fucked off at the idea of someone thinking "wtf is wrong with her, then" if I asked. It's not always obvious.

So yeah; totally your call but as far as I'm concerned the pros outweigh the cons in my book.

Msrichardofyork Wed 27-Jan-16 14:42:29

Thanks- yes DH says he likes the badges so he never has to have that awkward 'is she or isn't she?' I don't know. Might get one to keep him happy and wear when I see fit.

motherkat tell me about the hipster fat shamer! Sounds like an arse shock

Rinceoir Wed 27-Jan-16 14:47:03

I did a very long tube trip while heavily and obviously pregnant (38weeks) and was not offered a seat. I had just moved to London and wasn't quite sure of the etiquette of asking for seats. Like scribble I wouldn't like to take a seat from someone who needed it either, If I become pregnant again I'll certainly get one, just to

Rinceoir Wed 27-Jan-16 14:47:34

Eh don't know what happened there- just to be sure of a seat if I need it!

TriJo Wed 27-Jan-16 15:02:33

I wear one - started at around 15 weeks after fainting on a busy Northern line train and being laughed at by a morbidly obese lady in the priority seat. Turned out that my blood pressure has been low throughout and the 25 minutes it takes me to get to work on the tube can be enough to push me over the line into dizzy spells and fainting. I wasn't big in my 2nd trimester at all really but I did need a seat.

Fibbertigibbet Wed 27-Jan-16 15:58:03

I'd definitely get one if I were pregnant. I travel on the Central line daily, and sometimes people seem to willfully ignore people who are obviously pregnant but do not have a badge because they want to keep their seat. There's a woman who gets on regularly who is heavily pregnant and disabled (walks with a pronounced limp and uses a walking stick) but doesn't use a badge and I'm often shocked nobody offers a seat!

MargueriteA Wed 27-Jan-16 16:01:39

I liked having one. I found it helpful in very early pregnancy when I wasn't showing at all but felt my worst with sickness and tiredness. I also felt that it made me a little less likely to be jostled. Plus I'm incredibly short, and was heavily pregnant in winter, so the badge was far more obvious than my very low down bump hidden under a winter coat.

CakeNinja Wed 27-Jan-16 16:04:07

Yanbu, I wouldn't wear one!

Marzipants Wed 27-Jan-16 16:10:05

YANBU, providing you don't mind people not offering you their seat as they think you're fat.

Rebelwithoutapause Wed 27-Jan-16 16:29:42

Yanbu. If you are happy to ask no need for a badge.

If you want to wear one, nothing wrong with that either, but there is no "should" about it. Pregnant women are not obliged to advertise the fact.

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