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To complain about this TA?

(209 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

angryschoolmum Tue 26-Jan-16 16:15:56

I have name changed for this post due to ranting at a few people who I think are on here already.
My DD is 5, she left school today weeping due to the comments of a TA. She said that the TA had told the group 2 minutes left and so she rushed the last of her work. Then the TA said "this is awful" about her work.

I know sometimes 5 year olds tell few lies/fibs re school and what happens. When DD does this and I say I'll ask a teacher she will always backtrack and end up confessing she exaggerated/made it up. When I said I'd call school tonight she said "please do, I don't want to see Mrs XXX again".

WIBU to complain to the head as I don't think awful is a word to tell a five year old about their work? If she'd said something like "it's not your best", "we'll redo it tomorrow" or "I don't think you tried hard with this", surely that would be better at this age.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 26-Jan-16 16:26:18

You should speak to the Teacher if you're unhappy about the TA.

Princecharlesfirstwife Tue 26-Jan-16 16:29:54

I wouldn't be ringing and I wouldn't be going to the head. I might have a quick chat with the teacher after school tomorrow and say DD was upset and take it from there.

Buttercup27 Tue 26-Jan-16 16:31:30

Your first port of call should be the class teacher.

goodnightdarthvader1 Tue 26-Jan-16 16:31:41

Was your DD chatting and not getting on with the work? She may be omitting some parts of the event. Maybe that made the TA annoyed?

I don't know, I honestly think some things parents get themselves wound up about are a bit OTT. She said her work was awful, not the best way of phrasing it, but hardly abusive. And now your DD doesn't want to see her ever again? Seems like a bit of an overreaction to me. <shrug>

Dreamonastar Tue 26-Jan-16 16:32:18

I don't think it's that bad to be honest.

I know she's only little, but you really don't want to encourage drama llama tendencies.

somewheresomehow Tue 26-Jan-16 16:35:47

why dont you just go see the teacher, clarify what may/may not have been said and say what your DD said and see what the teacher has to say

BarbarianMum Tue 26-Jan-16 16:37:16

I think you would be unreasonable to complain to the head when you don't even know what has gone on. Why not speak to the TA, or the class teacher?

ArabellaRockerfella Tue 26-Jan-16 16:39:56

Have you seen the work? Maybe it was indeed awful!

CaptainCrunch Tue 26-Jan-16 16:45:23

I'm a Learning Assistant and whilst "this is awful" isn't the best terminology to use, it's hardly the end of the world either.

In our school we encourage a growth mindset so usually use language like "you can do much better than this" and "this isn't your best work, try again and make more effort this time".

The growth mindset encourages (a) children who are used to getting things perfect first time who cannot cope with criticism of their work and refuse to redo it as they believe if they can't get something right first time, it's not worth doing and (b) children who have no faith in their ability at all and need to be pushed into making an effort.

Your DD might have been mucking about and not making the best effort and the TA could have been encouraging her all afternoon only for her to be ignored and then produce shoddy work at the end of it.

TA's like any other people are only human and can get frustrated and occasionally say the wrong or inappropriate thing.

Speak to the teacher if you feel it's really necessary but don't encourage your child to report back every little thing the TA says or does that she doesn't like.

She's not in a position to say "I don't want to see Mrs X again" unless you think the TA should be sacked or deployed on the whim of a grumpy 5 year old.

angryschoolmum Tue 26-Jan-16 16:45:38

I've just spoken to the teacher who said she wasn't with the group, then I was passed on to the TA who said she did say awful as she was used to such a high standard of work from DD, she said that DD was just rushing (which after being told 2 mins to go she would be). If it's relevant she was doing her work with the year 5 pupils as she is a bit ahead for a year 1.

HumptyDumptyHadaHardTime Tue 26-Jan-16 16:47:28

If it's relevant she was doing her work with the year 5 pupils as she is a bit ahead for a year 1

hmm

WorraLiberty Tue 26-Jan-16 16:47:32

grin grin grin grin

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 26-Jan-16 16:50:08

Oh do behave OP! grin.

MotherKat Tue 26-Jan-16 16:50:22

Sounds like the TA forgot how little your DD is, I think you talking to them was the right call, it should remind them not to talk to her the same way she might and older child, and maybe have a chat with your Dd explaining that the TA forgot she wasn't a bigger girl, so maybe she could give he TA another chance.

ilikebaking Tue 26-Jan-16 16:52:29

She was working with yr 5 pupils?
A 5 year old and 9 year olds working together, on the same piece of work?

ilikebaking Tue 26-Jan-16 16:53:54

I do think you need to get a grip, and get a grip of your DD.
If her work was rushed and not her best, then it was. Okay, maybe the TA should not have said it was awful, but like others have said she is a human, at the end of the day, with a load of children rushing their work.
Calm it down.

Nottodaythankyouorever Tue 26-Jan-16 16:54:14

In the space of half an hour you've posted on here, spoken to the teacher and then the TA and then reposted?

Bambooshoots14 Tue 26-Jan-16 16:55:09

From year 1 to year 5? hmm

MarthasHarbour Tue 26-Jan-16 16:56:27

hmm

PunkrockerGirl Tue 26-Jan-16 16:56:45

grin hmm grin

tshirtsuntan Tue 26-Jan-16 16:56:55

grin

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 26-Jan-16 16:57:10

<cough>

Can anyone else smell it? wink.

A TA there after 4.00 0 'Clock, never!

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 26-Jan-16 16:57:33

disclaimer ; I am a TA.

CaptainCrunch Tue 26-Jan-16 16:57:44

Sorry OP, just read your update. Don't know what school would have a 5 year old working with a group of 9 year olds.

We occasionally have a child who has good reading skills and we'll buddy them up with an older pupil but they certainly wouldn't be doing written worksheets or maths with them.

Seems very unusual, perhaps your DD isn't quite as advanced as you or the school originally thought if she cannot cope with this work for much older children.

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