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To not go to DPs sisters wedding?!

(171 Posts)
Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 26-Jan-16 09:45:25

Ok I already know I am being unreasonable, it's DPs sister, but I reeeeeeally don't want to go!

I don't like weddings anyway, but I'm especially dreading this one. His sister is just awful, acts like a spoilt princess at the best of times but is now the bridezilla from hell!

If we visit his parents and she is there, we can't mention buying our house or she gets cross that we aren't focused on her wedding, and yesterday when his mum started asking me about any ideas we've had for our wedding, she gave me the most awful look and loudly announced that there would only be her wedding this year so her mum should be focusing on that, not another one that isn't booked yet! I didn't want to tall about our bloody wedding, getting married is something me and DP will do but I am really not arsed about wedding planning and it will be very, very low key, so I resent being looked at as some awful thunder-stealer! Herr attitude whenever the conversation is about anything other than her wedding is just truly grim.

On top of this, I hate the way I look and we are buying a new house as we speak, so money is tight so I'm stressing about my outfit and what I'm going to wear. She said that she expects her guests to wear designer outfits as anything cheaper would ruin her day and the photographs confused

I have already managed to get out of the 3, yes 3, hen parties, but my DP really wants me to go with him to the wedding and take the children so I don't feel like I can say no.

Although she had never been directly hostile to me, I get the distinct impression that she really doesn't like me, probably as we are so different, and I feel as though I won't measure up on the day,and she'll mock me for my outfit etc.

Would it be unreasonable of me to contract food poisoning so I can't go?! only half joking

HumptyDumptyHadaHardTime Tue 26-Jan-16 09:47:29

I'm afraid yes YABU. Sorry.

PurpleDaisies Tue 26-Jan-16 09:47:54

Just go. She sounds like a nightmare but she'll be too busy to talk to you. Is it worth the years of hassle you'll get from her if you don't turn up?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 26-Jan-16 09:50:50

No I know, I really will have to go. At least I'll have the kids to keep me company - DP is wedding party so won't see much of him. It's been made quite clear that she'll need him for "most of the day, and the evening too"

I'll just slip out early, the joy of having tired kids as an excuse!grin

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 26-Jan-16 09:52:22

YABU. You need to go, for your DP's sake and family harmony as much as anything else.

AnotherEmma Tue 26-Jan-16 09:53:48

Go to the wedding but avoid her as much as you can before and after!

Chinks123 Tue 26-Jan-16 09:56:25

sad sounds like my idea of torture, but I'm afraid you probably do have to go, mainly as your DP has asked you to. The fact you won't really see him all day/night sounds extra rubbish though. I'm with using the kids as an early get out excuse if it's unbearable!

RainOhJoyus Tue 26-Jan-16 09:57:20

You know you have to go to the wedding. Just see it as pure entertainment and you'll be talking about it for years!
I reckon she'll have a major case of post weddin blues, I know one bride who was distraught the day after the wedding as it was all over! Something I couldn't understand myself

MrsUniverse Tue 26-Jan-16 09:57:31

YANBU I think, actually. But you'll probably still have to go and that sucks. Sorry OP.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 26-Jan-16 09:59:20

I know, I can't let DP down, but my god do I want to!

I'll just keep my distance, have a dance with my DDs and get out of there ASAP! grin

GastonsPomPomWrath Tue 26-Jan-16 09:59:48

She sounds like the sort of Princess that will be too busy bossing around the wedding party and showing off to guests to even give you a second glance.

Then you can sneak out the back early with your overtired children because you 'don't want them to spoil it for her'. grin

theycallmemellojello Tue 26-Jan-16 10:00:08

Sorry, but in the nicest way possible, YABU and you need to get over yourself. The wedding is not about you, it's about doing something nice for someone your DH loves.

Mandalorian Tue 26-Jan-16 10:00:24

I'm in the yanbu camp. Life is too short to tolerate people you really don't like. If you think your dh will be understanding speak to him but otherwise if definitely contract something on the morning.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 26-Jan-16 10:01:44

rain you might be right! I'm sure she'll have a baby next, and that'll be ad though no one else has ever had a child!

DP joked about proposing at the wedding, and announcing our next child too! Our lives wouldn't be worth living after that! grin

PurpleDaisies Tue 26-Jan-16 10:03:22

If you think your dh will be understanding speak to him but otherwise if definitely contract something on the morning

Won't that mean the kids aren't able to go to the wedding though? It seems a bit sad for them to miss out.

regenerationfez Tue 26-Jan-16 10:03:28

Just think of it as a celebration of the end of vthe wedding planning nightmare! Wear what you can afford. If she wants designer, she can pay for it. She'll probably be so busy being a Princess she won't care. If anything goes wrong shell probably go into meltdown!

CakeNinja Tue 26-Jan-16 10:04:56

Oh god it'll be fine. She won't be remotely interested in anyone else on her big day, and unless you approach her for a chat it doesn't look like she's going to be going out of her way to talk to you either so it'll be alright.

I struggle to believe that she's quite as bad as that though, as in, I'm sure most of it was said a bit tongue in cheek, the not talking about your wedding until next year, and the designer wedding outfits etc. Not that she didn't say it, but that it was a bit of a joke.

Anyway, ywbu to not go, don't feed the drama!

PinkSparklyPussyCat Tue 26-Jan-16 10:05:01

You wouldn't be unreasonable not to go but it looks as though you'll have to unfortunately.

Wear something you are comfortable in and don't worry about her stupid dress code. I don't own anything 'designer' but I think I've usually managed to look decent and I don't think I've ruined any pictures!

Leelu6 Tue 26-Jan-16 10:05:42

Much as I would say YANBU and that you shouldn't go, I agree that you need to go.

She does sound like a spoilt brat. I can wish rain for her wedding day if you like grin

NinjaClaws Tue 26-Jan-16 10:07:32

I dislike formal (circus) weddings and will happily find a crap excuse not to attend.
I wouldn't fuss too much about the outfit either.
Just wear whatever you feel comfortable in and leave ASAP.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 26-Jan-16 10:07:35

cake, seriously, it was not in jest! She really is that self-absorbed! Her own mother us sick of wedding talk and refers to it as the royal wedding.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 26-Jan-16 10:08:35

lee grin

Bananalanacake Tue 26-Jan-16 10:09:51

If a bride told me to wear a designer outfit as 'anything cheaper will spoil the day' I would turn up in the best outfit BHS has to offer, can everyone afford designer clothes? that's incredibly cheeky/bossy.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 26-Jan-16 10:10:59

Thanks ninja and pink, I wouldn't normally give a crap qhat people think of what I wear, bit since DD2 I've been really insecure about how I look.

I'm sure I'll find something, it's not til July so I've loads of time. With any luck I'll have lost a couple of stone by then which will make it easier

AnotherEmma Tue 26-Jan-16 10:11:46

"Her own mother us sick of wedding talk and refers to it as the royal wedding."

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