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To ask how you deal with someone who doesn't like you?

(134 Posts)
KittenLoverTheFirst Mon 25-Jan-16 22:08:13

There is a mum from DD's year at school who used to talk to me but suddenly started blanking me, and clearly doesn't like me. No idea why, and I did text her to ask but she didn't reply so hey ho.

The only thing bothering me is that I have to walk past her each day on the school run, sometimes twice a day or more if I see her on each school run. She walks past me and I've just been saying hello or smiling but she blanks me.

Am I best off just blanking her back? And this is a silly question but where do you actually look if you are walking past someone that you are ignoring. Do you look straight ahead? Or look at them and just look straight through them? I don't want it to look like she intimidates me.

What do I do?

IrenetheQuaint Mon 25-Jan-16 22:11:28

Say 'Morning Sandra' loudly with a cheery grin as you walk past. It will probably annoy the hell out of her as she'll have to decide whether to be rude and ignore you or grit her teeth and reply politely.

Wishful80sMontage Mon 25-Jan-16 22:11:41

Marking place as Im intrigued too about how best to deal with it.
In my case its a lady at school that has always been off with me and shuts conversation down. Its awkward.
I should just not care but I just don't know why she would have an issue with me.

LimitedSedition Mon 25-Jan-16 22:11:48

Honestly? I'd keep smiling and saying hi.

Don't stoop to that level of rudeness. More people will notice how rude she is, and (pound to a penny) she'll eventually start saying hi back.

Joolsy Mon 25-Jan-16 22:12:26

Gosh that's weird. I had a similar thing happen to me, though I knew the reason why she wasn't speaking to me. I was very immature and just said "Hello!" with a big smile for a few days, but after that I just looked the other way or avoided walking past her. Luckily there are a few different routes I could take in the playground! It all blew over. You might find she gets over whatever's bugging her

Hihohoho1 Mon 25-Jan-16 22:15:27

Oh I wouldn't give a shiny shite. Too old now.

Either giggle as you pass her or completely ignore. No eye contact.

Silly moo.

BushyTailedPony Mon 25-Jan-16 22:16:01

Be even cheerier to her - no need to actually speak to her but say hello, big smile and keep going. Ignore any rudery from her and let it go right over your head. This approach will annoy her far more that mirroring her rudeness.

rosewithoutthorns Mon 25-Jan-16 22:17:45

I'd not engage either, just ignore her.

BushyTailedPony Mon 25-Jan-16 22:18:01

This is the approach I used to take with horrible customers when I worked in retail. Develop a rhinoceros hide and a fake cheeriness that no arsehole can shift.

TheCatsFlaps Mon 25-Jan-16 22:26:10

Simply say to her: "why don't you slather that attitude in butter, then stick it up your arse!"

That takes care of it.

holeinmyheart Mon 25-Jan-16 22:27:31

kitten it hurts when another person does this to you. However, I think if you consider that ' it is their problem' not yours, then it can be moved onto them.
Why would anyone, not only stop talking to you, but when you rationally and nicely offer to sort it out, refuse? They clearly have a lot of issues.

You don't, you are actually a nice person.

So I would just blank them and feel pity for them as they are obviously immature and silly. Don't waste your time trying to second guess their issues as they may have nothing to do with you at all.

You have kindly offered to discuss the situation and been refused..... So no more conciliatory efforts on your part.

You are going to win some and lose some all your life, so Just let this loser go. Concentrate your efforts on people who love you and count your blessings.

Xxx for the hurt.

SoporificHobnob Mon 25-Jan-16 22:28:20

Keep smiling and saying hello, be nice to her then go home and make a voodoo doll

CustardLover Mon 25-Jan-16 22:33:38

I think blanking her back gives her the satisfaction of knowing she has influenced your behaviour. Don't even give her that much attention. What? Someone didn't reply when you say good morning? You didn't even notice - you are far too busy being busy and thinking about your real, important life. Keel in with a brief, vague, breezy 'morning!' And move on quickly.

MooseAndSquirrel Mon 25-Jan-16 22:35:39

I had this when DD1 was in nursery - random school mum decided she really didn't like me! Stood giving me dirty looks, if I spoke she'd look at me shoot a dirty look and turn away!
It was comical as she didn't know me at all!!
I would always greet her with a cheery hello and a smile and then talk to more normal the other mums.
By year 1 she got over her hatred of me and now and again will even start a conversation with me at the gates or at least smile back maybe my face bothers her less now
I think the trick is, to just not give a shit - or at least act like you don't

WillBeatJanuaryBlues Mon 25-Jan-16 22:41:13

tricky are you sure you have no idea why, there has never been any interaction or engaging in the past?

It could be that she is busy or has heard something from someone else?

The best thing is to let it slide and to ignore back ....pretend you never got past smile stage!

KittenLoverTheFirst Mon 25-Jan-16 22:45:27

Thanks everyone I think I will ignore her back. I don't think I'd want to be friends with someone who acts so childishly anyway.

KERALA1 Mon 25-Jan-16 22:46:59

I had this with a weirdo I chatted to at a party when we first moved in. Had very uncontroversial conversation but spoke most of the evening. However despite my saying hello subsequently she steadfastedly ignore me. Quite funny as was with dh in the park once and she was there with her husband who was super friendly while she stood with a face like thunder. Find it quite funny - she's done it to others. Strange!

gandalf456 Mon 25-Jan-16 22:49:22

Get in her face and ask her Wtf her problem is? Joking!

I have this a lot. I must be a nice person grin

I hate being rude and ignoring people but there seems little point in interacting when they completely blank you. Seems humiliating and why would you do that to yourself?

You won't be lowering yourself because you didn't start it and would be prepared to be normal with her if she weren't so weird

Barbadosgirl Mon 25-Jan-16 22:55:06

Definitely go for the "Hiya, Sandra", particularly if her name is not Sandra! grin

NameChanger22 Mon 25-Jan-16 22:55:46

I think you should stick your tongue out or blow a raspberry as you walk past. At least it will make you laugh.

GiddyOnZackHunt Mon 25-Jan-16 22:57:32

I had this with someone. She always looked like thunder. I used to breeze past her and cheerfully project 'Morning!!' with a big smile and stride on without any indication I was expecting an acknowledgment. It worked on 2 levels. She couldn't complain and it made me happy every single morning that I wasn't her (all wrought with unwarranted frustration and bitterness).
I was quite prepared to keep it up for 8 years but fortune favoured me smile

MrsEricBana Mon 25-Jan-16 23:01:27

This happened to me. You've tried now just ignore her (look straight ahead as you saunter past!). Probably lots of others have experienced similar with her.

Kingfisherfree Mon 25-Jan-16 23:09:06

I always say "Cheer up luv might never happen!" I also laugh a bit when I say it that generally shakes them out of it. I also shout hello in their ear as I walk by that works too.

If all else fails point at them when you are with a group of other mums they will never ignore you again.

hefzi Mon 25-Jan-16 23:09:22

I have a colleague like this: I go for the demented grin and cheery greeting every time - if I blanked her, I'd feel like she'd won. So I go out of my way to be chirpy and irritating grin - I know it's not a competition, but the whole blanking thing is so play-ground, I refuse to participate in it with a fellow adult. If she wants to behave like she's 13, that's her choice: I'm not, and I don't.

Rainbunny Mon 25-Jan-16 23:21:06

After reading all these posts about strange unfriendly women, I'd love it if a self confessed "unfriendly woman" would post on here and explain why they decide to be unfriendly? It's just to strange to act as though you dislike someone you don't know, I can't wrap my head around it?

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