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What can I do? Warning this is Facebook related

(23 Posts)
Esmeismyhero Mon 25-Jan-16 15:31:05

I have about 40 people on my Facebook, some family, school mum and dads and friends.

I do upload pictures of my daughter and son BUT my privacy settings are very tight. I also have people on Fb who I trust not to distribute pictures etc.

I have opted out of dc appearing in media, Facebook etc with the school.

There are two school mums who I have befriended in my ds class. Since Christmas I've noticed that mum1 has uploaded pictures of the nativity, certain ceremonies and church services. Now some of these pictures my son is visible and some he isn't.

Mum2 has uploaded pictures of the Dc playing in the playground and certain ceremonies.

Aibu to think you don't do that? Isn't it polite to get parents permission if your pictures have other children visible?

I know I'm probably sounding precious but I don't like it. Am I being a bitch? How can I politely ask that they don't post pics of my dc?

NaNaNaBatman Mon 25-Jan-16 15:34:39

My DS' school ask us to not upload any photos on social media which contain other people's children so YANBU there.

I'm not sure how you would word it to the Mum but I'm sure someone will come along with a good suggestion there!

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Mon 25-Jan-16 15:36:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hangingoutattheendofmywick Mon 25-Jan-16 15:36:21

I wouldn't do this ever without asking permission of the parents. Like I share everything - but my friend doesn't. So i would text her before adding a pic asking. Another friend added a pic of her child and tagged her in it & didn't ask (just her child in the pic no one else) and my friend was upset because she doesn't want to have her on FB (she's 3). So I don't think you're being a bitch at all. Also if I go anywhere like soft play I might take a photo of my son but never ever post anything that has other kids in the background - or even adults. There are rules about picture taking in certain places - I think.,... Someone will come along & know much more.

gandalf456 Mon 25-Jan-16 15:36:21

Mine too. I think the most diplomatic approach would be to speak to the school. They can then remind parents via letter, newsletter, text etc.

eyebrowse Mon 25-Jan-16 15:39:09

I would just politely ask that they don't post pictures including your children and explain why (as long as it is not confidential reasons). If when it comes down to it you actually can't think of any good reason why perhaps you need to rethink your stance on photos.

If there are confidential reasons (e.g. adopted child, violent previous partner) perhaps you could ask facebook to remove them(?) or ask the school to send a letter home asking for people only to upload pictures of children on facebook where they have checked with parents its ok or perhaps ask class teacher to have a word with the two mums without being specific it is about your child.

MissyMaker Mon 25-Jan-16 15:49:40

I would speak to the school. Screen shot and provide as evidence. They should send out a strong reminder to all parents that such photos are put on social media. Your child might not be the subject of a safeguarding issue, but others might be and this could put them at risk.

ollieplimsoles Mon 25-Jan-16 15:54:48

Screen shot it and have a word with school, you don't put a picture up if other peoples kids are in it, there could be all sorts of safe guarding issues

MamaLazarou Mon 25-Jan-16 16:00:25

Just ask them to remove pictures/videos with your DC in them.

Esmeismyhero Mon 25-Jan-16 16:06:04

I've looked at the schools rules on social media and it says:

Never post or tag photographs etc without ensuring that you have the right permission.
• If there is something you are concerned about in school please contact the school to sort it out rather than discussing it on Facebook for example.
• Everyone who adds to online sites is responsible for any comments posted under their name.
• If you are aware that sites are being misused you have a responsibility to report this.

Katedotness1963 Mon 25-Jan-16 16:23:26

I never post pictures of my kids friends without getting permission from their parents.

MamaLazarou Mon 25-Jan-16 16:25:13

Is there a reason why you can't just ask them to remove the pics/vids?

Topsy34 Mon 25-Jan-16 16:31:26

I dont see why you just cant ask them to blur out your childs face?

Esmeismyhero Mon 25-Jan-16 16:40:14

I would usually contact the parent and ask but this parent is very condescending and when I've spoken to them before they really look like they wanted to squish me iyswim.

SnobblyBobbly Mon 25-Jan-16 16:41:33

I always blur out the kids in the background so they're just a colourful little smudge surrounding the star of the show - my precious DC grin

mrsjskelton Mon 25-Jan-16 16:44:18

YANBU - schools should warn parents not to do this. Parents have no idea about safeguarding issues/fostering/adoption/witness protection etc. It is your right to protect your child on social media.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Mon 25-Jan-16 17:00:53

Please speak to the school.

As well as your dc they have others in the background too, if this was one of my dc there could be very serious consequences for us.

JackandDiane Mon 25-Jan-16 17:02:13

THere is a Facebook topic you know

Madeyemoodysmum Mon 25-Jan-16 17:06:22

Our head reminds parents at every event but still i see photos of school pics posted. Some people are a bit dim or just don't care. Very sad and frustrating.

WorraLiberty Mon 25-Jan-16 17:15:51

I don't think it's right for her to post pics of your child on the internet.

But then again (and I'm aware this is an unpopular view) I don't particularly think it's right for parents to do it either.

I'm glad I grew up in the 70s/80s, where the most embarrassing thing my Mum did with my childhood photos, was pass the album round when my aunts and uncles came to visit.

Stripyhoglets Mon 25-Jan-16 17:50:49

Contact the school. They should send a letter asking parents not to do this. Then it's not directly from you, but if you have pics on facebook yourself they really aren't private.

JackandDiane Mon 25-Jan-16 18:21:06

would other people be INTERESTED in pics of anyones kid?
thank god for twitter

LieselMeminger Mon 25-Jan-16 18:24:28

THere is a Facebook topic you know

To be fair, 99% of Aibu could be posted in their designated topics. It's clear in the title it's about Facebook so easy to avoid for users who don't want to read Facebook related stuff.

Plus, Aibu would be empty if everyone posted on the topic it's about. smile

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