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about DH's superior?

(10 Posts)
SparklyTinselTits Mon 25-Jan-16 15:12:18

DH has just come home and told me he has found out one of his superiors at work has been discussing our personal business with DH's colleagues!!
DH had to tell this superior, as his authority is required to sort out our housing situation, and housing is dependant on family size.
We have very recently found out our family is explaining (yay! grin), so need to move from our tiny hobbit hole. We haven't told our families yet, let alone DH's work colleagues!
AIBU to think that DH's superior is bang out of order discussing it with someone who is not on our "needs to know now" list?!

Birdsgottafly Mon 25-Jan-16 15:14:40

Yes he is, if I was your DH id ask for a meeting to sort this out.

Does he have a HR?

Behaviour like this from someone in charge encourages 'office gossip' and never makes a good working atmosphere.

SparklyTinselTits Mon 25-Jan-16 15:18:57

DH has gone back into work to talk to him now.

I was just very shock about it, as the person in question deals with this kind of information that may be sensitive as part of his job day in day out!
The colleague involved is also married to a friend of mine, so now I'm stuck about whether to lie and say we aren't expecting again, or just put my trust in them not to blab to the whole world!

Birdsgottafly Mon 25-Jan-16 15:27:45

Is it the Army?

Or did you need a housing reference?

Just because I've picked up on here that the Army can work differently.

He should be keeping information private.

That's the issue, he might think he can keep the information confidential, but many people share with their OHs, who have no obligation to do so.

He needs stopping before he shares someone's medical information.

SparklyTinselTits Mon 25-Jan-16 16:22:03

It is military Birds.

From what I've been told he just blurted out "oh the Sparkly's are getting moved before you because SparklyTinselTits is up the duff" hmm
Fair enough, we know the person he told, but thats not the point! We told him during our first conversation with him that we had only just found out ourselves, so weren't telling family and friends yet!!

BooAvenue Mon 25-Jan-16 16:33:54

Being An army wife myself I understand your frustrations, but I think YAB a bit U.

People wait ages to get an a reasonably good house that's not a tiny shithole, and I can imagine it causing ructions if your family was bumped ahead of the queue for what was perceived as no reason. So I can see why the (CSM or welfare officer?) told the other soldiers, even if he hadn't I'm sure they'd have guessed.

SparklyTinselTits Mon 25-Jan-16 18:03:56

If they had guessed then fair enough - we would have the choice to confirm or deny.
But for the welfare officer to have told him when we made it clear we hadn't in even told our families yet is not on IMO. He could have just said "there's a change in their circumstances" or something hmm

BooAvenue Mon 25-Jan-16 18:24:48

Really? That's not exactly how the army (apologies if you're RN/RAF) works. Is your DH a soldier or an officer? I was under the impression soldiers weren't entitled to a move until 20 weeks, in which case, again I can understand the justification by the WO.

SparklyTinselTits Mon 25-Jan-16 19:49:34

boo we are being moved due to flooding and mould - but the pregnancy and the fact we already have a 9mo puts us as priority. So really all the WO needed to say was "they have a child and you don't", he had no reason to tell someone else I was pg confused

BooAvenue Mon 25-Jan-16 20:04:34

Yes but what I'm saying is, as far as I'm aware you don't usually ask for a larger quarter on the basis of family size until you are nearing the 20 week mark, so the WO may have assumed when your DH told him you were quite far along and thus it was common knowledge. He should have paid attention to the "we haven't told anyone" comment granted.

I'm sorry to hear about the flooding, that makes sense as to why you're being moved anyway, but (and I do think this is wrong) in the eyes of the army having a child doesn't make you a priority in itself. IME most army families have kids, so I can completely see why a family with 2 kids who also need to move (due to floods?) would be annoyed that you got a 3 bed place ahead of them when in their eyes you have one child. I think when there is a shortage of housing, as there often is, entitled families often feel very aggrieved when someone they view as not entitled bumps them in the queue, so for that reason I can see why the WO may have mentioned it.

I do understand why you're annoyed though and congratulations on your pregnancy!

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