to feel we arent being "accomodated"

(10 Posts)
cjt110 Mon 25-Jan-16 12:34:12

Long backstory. We live 157 miles from ILs. We always visit them. In the time DH has lived up here - 10 years - they have been to us once when our son was born, once a few months after he was born, for our wedding. They have come on trips up this way (Blackpool, York, Leeds) and we have changed our plans to visit them where they are. (The trips are usually coach/train based so they have no transport so we have to drive to them - York and Blackpool being an hour or so from us).

So ILs are up this way again this week. They said it would be nice to see them. So we have both booked Thursday off and told them this. They said they would let us know on arrival when they are free and we said if needs be we would go and see them in the evening if they arent free on the Thurs. I guess we kind of (naively) thought they may give one of their trips a swerve because we have both booked the day off and are prepared to take our son out of nursery (which is already paid for at £45) so we can see them. I text saying what are your trips etc and MIL listed 3. So they arrive today and go home Fri. So the 3 intervening days are booked up with trips surely? She asked how far one of the places was from us and I said about an hour. We could always meet you there. She said she would let us know tonight after their itinery is confirmed. That they don;t anticipate being back late from their trips but they don't know what time dinner is served.

I feel a bit miffed I guess that we are willing to make several changes, book holidays etc to see them, but of course, they can't miss dinner!

GRRRRR

ThomasRichard Mon 25-Jan-16 12:38:11

Just cancel your days off and carry on with your lives. If they wanted to see you then they would.

cjt110 Mon 25-Jan-16 13:21:14

Im very tempted to ThomasRichard Very tempted to

PegsPigs Mon 25-Jan-16 13:27:12

Yup what Thomas said. They're just not that into (seeing) you grin

AlwaysHopeful1 Mon 25-Jan-16 13:31:46

I think knowing how they are you shouldn't bother wasting days off work on them. Bet then they will be available.

cjt110 Mon 25-Jan-16 13:36:28

Why bother asking us if we can go and see them etc?! angry Well, if they don't see us Thurs, DS can go to nursery as planned and me and DH can have a day out together so at least it's not wasted in that regard.

Either see us, or don't Don't piss about with all this smoke and mirrors twaddle!

expatinscotland Mon 25-Jan-16 13:36:46

Cancel the day off. My ILs are like that. No longer bother much, tbh.

Fratelli Mon 25-Jan-16 20:15:34

Don't cancel your days off. Send ds to nursery and have a lovely day with your dh!

TamaraLamara Mon 25-Jan-16 20:21:51

Im very tempted to ThomasRichard Very tempted to

Do it. People only get away with as much as they are allowed too get away with. If they ask why, guilt-trip you, or get arsey then tell them exactly what you said in your opening post.

If they are not prepared to make any effort, they can't expect others to do all the running.

ZenNudist Mon 25-Jan-16 20:24:02

Yy to planning time together without ds. What do you like to do together? Restaurant? Cinema? Art gallery? Shopping? Lovely, and on a weekday too when it will be nice & quiet. Plus if you're not at work you could pick ds but early and go out for tea (if you didn't have big lunch).

You'll be disappointed if ILs actually deign to see you!!

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