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AIBU?

To be shocked by how much a tiny cute baby can fart like a 20 stone trucker

45 replies

scarednoob · 24/01/2016 21:30

Just that really. DD is 4.5 months and absolutely beautiful. But my goodness, sometimes she has the cheesy bean infested bumoley of a mahoosive builder after a night on the guinness! Was I totally naive not to expect this? Or are they all farty little beasts?!

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pimplucius · 24/01/2016 21:33

ugh why not in parenting or somewhere where descriptions of the farts of offspring seem less fucking disgusting

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OiWithThePoodlesAlready · 24/01/2016 21:34

They are all farty! I remember being so shocked when my dd1 was a few days old and starting making these incredible noises.

Dd2 is 2 weeks old and has spent a large part of today farting like a grown man.

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DixieNormas · 24/01/2016 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monkeysox · 24/01/2016 21:35

They are especially fragrant if bf and mummy has had curry or cauliflower Shock

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SugarMiceInTheRain · 24/01/2016 21:35

Hahahaaa! My middle child was just like this - DH and I were astonished! Really loud, man-sized farts that lasted for literally 20-30 seconds! My other 2 just did cute little trumps as babies (mostly) Grin

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dementedma · 24/01/2016 21:35

Ds was only weeks old and being bf in bed during the night when he let out a belch that would have done a navvy proud. It was a proper man belch, not a cute baby one. I could hardly believe such a noise had come from such a tiny wee thing!

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unimaginativename13 · 24/01/2016 21:36

It's the burps which sound like beer drinking men crossed with hairballed cats that get me.

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Sleepybunny · 24/01/2016 21:39

Why open the thread pimplucius?

OP yes they are gassy fart balls, it's quite shocking. The velocity at which newborn poop can be released at is quite something to behold.

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scarednoob · 24/01/2016 21:41

I am laughing a lot at these descriptions (and also v relieved that my DD isn't the only one). Clearly I was naive about these things.

I miss being naive!

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Stylingwax · 24/01/2016 21:43

Yes!! I was in the kitchen yesterday and heard an absolute belter from the lounge, was about to chastise my 6'3, 18 stone hubby when he shouted that it was my 2 week old, 7lb daughter!

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AndYourBirdCanSing · 24/01/2016 21:53

I have fond memories of my twins trumping away next to each other in their cot when they were tiny. So loud!

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ShowMeTheWonder · 24/01/2016 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Knitmyshickers10 · 24/01/2016 22:05

I always knew when my little baby DD had awakened in the morning as you'd hear the biggest, loudest fart emanating from her room. DH and I used to lay in bed giggling at her. She's now almost 13 and STILL does it! It's now a family joke Grin

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blueturtle6 · 24/01/2016 22:10

You are not alone, my 4month old DD wakes me up with farts in night, that she sleeps through!! HV told me that bf babies don't have wind....err this one does!

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middlings · 24/01/2016 22:16

I remember DD1 letting rip when she was about 5 days old and DH and I looking at each other in shock and both exclaiming 'It wasn't me!' And then our jaws dropping as we realised it was her!!

pimplucious it's a parenting website. The whole site.

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catsonlaps · 24/01/2016 22:19

My friends baby used to wake himself up with his noisy trumps and then start crying! Grin

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Alisvolatpropiis · 24/01/2016 22:24

I was shocked when my tiny baby did this!

😂 @ pimp, seems to have got Mn confused with Reddit.

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WeAllHaveWings · 24/01/2016 22:30

2 month old ds sprayed dh from his face to his waist with a huge fart that followed through during a nappy change! Grin

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Atathania · 24/01/2016 22:32

I had a lovely bowl of Jerusalem artichoke soup when DD2 was about 6 weeks old.

It doesn't really affect me in that way, but poor little DD about flew to the moon!

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Oysterbabe · 24/01/2016 22:37

My pfb is 3 weeks old and a teeny premie, this has been the biggest surprise as a ftm. She's a 5lb whoopie cushion.

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RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 24/01/2016 22:38

My favourite is when you lift them up and the gentlest pressure of your hands on their tummy starts them firing off a volley lasting several minutes Grin

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scarednoob · 24/01/2016 22:41

yes! Mine does this if I am feeding her in bed and she is lying on her stomach across me - a tiny little string of fart bubbles get popped out as a result!

She's currently snoring like father jack. I didn't know about that either...

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mineofuselessinformation · 24/01/2016 22:45

Dc2 was known as 'trumpet trousers' when small, and still does a good impression of something that should take off and move like a hovercraft now older!

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CrystalMcPistol · 24/01/2016 22:46

For you pimplucius

To be shocked by how much a tiny cute baby can fart like a 20 stone trucker
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unlucky83 · 24/01/2016 22:51

Remember being in hospital with DD1 and the curtain being drawn and the first time she did it being in total shock and disbelief - thinking omg - no-one will believe that came from her, even I can't believe that came from her...
(everyone will think it was me Blush)
She also did the same in a shop. It was a factory shop and really quiet my mum was looking at something at the far end of the shop and I was sat on a chair next to the door holding my beautiful angelic 4 week old... just as an older man opened the door she let rip...he looked at me in horror and went into the shop. I was so shocked I didn't say anything but felt like following him and explaining 'it wasn't me honest' but thought that would be even more embarrassing...

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