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to not want to feel humiliated for asking for the morning after pill?

(78 Posts)
byebyebirdy Sun 24-Jan-16 20:59:25

Had an incident last night with newish boyfriend where the condom split - after a panicky night lesson is well and truly learnt, I'm going to sort out going on the pill asap.

So this morning I search out the nearest open pharmacy and head on down. Not once have I needed the MAP before but I've heard the stories through friends/online about how some pharmacists can be a bit arsy about giving it.

Pharmacy is at a busy supermarket. I go to the counter and (quietly) ask the assistant, who goes round the back to where the pharmacist is. I hear her tell him what I'm asking for. His response is a loud "WHAT!" and a laugh. He tells her to tell me the price (I know its not free), assistant comes back to tell me then goes back to tell him I'm fine with that.

Pharmacist then appears, guy in his late 50s I think, stands in front of me grinning and says in a loud voice "have you had the MAP before?". I tell him no. Theres other customers now waiting to be served by the assistant so I'm starting to feel a bit red around the face.

Pharmacist then spends a few minutes fiddling with the door to the consultation room and takes me inside. Gives me the 'chat' about the MAP, asks me lots of questions - fair enough but the tone of his voice and the way he phrased the questions made me feel pretty ashamed. During this chat hes holding some leaflets about sexual health etc and tosses them into my shopping basket when hes done. He warns me to be much more careful next time.

Come out of the consultation room feeling so embarrassed, pay and flee the area. Felt like a slag quite frankly. Was I being too sensitive?

MrsAttending Sun 24-Jan-16 21:01:38

Yanbu it sounds like he treated you very unprofessionally.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sun 24-Jan-16 21:03:32

Yes I think you are being over sensitive
The morning after pill isn't without side effects and whenever a woman accesses it the hcp is obliged to talk about better contraception options. I'm not sure where he made you feel like a slag, I think that's your stuff.

AlwaysDancing1234 Sun 24-Jan-16 21:03:33

No YANBU the guy was a total prick and has no idea of your circumstances which are none of his business anyway.
If I were you I'd make a complaint both to the pharmacy and also the larger shop it's situated in

KatyN Sun 24-Jan-16 21:04:11

Bless you. My first map was after the first night with a new chap.. Condom split. I hadn't had sex for 7 years!
It was rubbish. You have my sumpathy!!

(I have since married the chap in question so hope your romance turns out as well) xx

Melonaire Sun 24-Jan-16 21:05:55

'I were you I'd make a complaint both to the pharmacy and also the larger shop it's situated in'

This ^

He sounds like a wanker.

Birdsgottafly Sun 24-Jan-16 21:07:40

""Felt like a slag""

Perhaps your own attitude made how you felt you were treated, seem worse.

CurbsideProphet Sun 24-Jan-16 21:09:36

YANBU as it's completely inappropriate to announce the name of your requested medication in front of other customers. If he wanted to speak to you out in public, he should have just asked if you had previously taken "this medication".

Penfold007 Sun 24-Jan-16 21:09:47

You are not a slag, you are a responsible and caring person who had a contraceptive error/mishap and took action to stop that incident becoming an unwanted pregnancy.
The pharmacist was an unprofessional idiot, there a several pharmacists on MN and they must be cringing. Do you feel up to making a complaint?

foxessocks Sun 24-Jan-16 21:10:31

That does sound like he was unprofessional.

I got the MAP when I was 18 and had recently started going out with a new boyfriend. I went to the pharmacy in our village because it was the only one open. Unfortunately for me the pharmacist there was a friend of my dads! I was very red faced. But these things happen and I would have rather done that than have a baby with a new boyfriend at 18 when I 100% was not ready.

I also married that boyfriend and we now have a dd.

Don't feel embarrassed it was the pharmacists issue not yours.

Imustgodowntotheseaagain Sun 24-Jan-16 21:10:52

Definitely complain. You were being responsible using a condom, you were being responsible seeking the MAP after the condom failed. You should feel proud of yourself, not embarrassed.

He does have to give you the chat, because the wankers that make our laws feel that women are children who need a telling off before we can manage our own fertility.

Sighing Sun 24-Jan-16 21:11:57

I'd have suggested he improve his attitude. Right there and then tbh. Pharmacists really are there to provide a professional service. Not a judgement on your lifestyle. Accidents happen and you were using a legal, sensible and available precaution.
Sorry you've had a crap experience. I've taken it before and the (also male) pharmacist was discreet, helpful and to the point.

foxessocks Sun 24-Jan-16 21:11:58

Also forgot to say - the pharmacist my friends dad was totally professional. He asked the relevant questions without making me feel ashamed in anyway and he told me the side effects. I paid and left. That was it. That is their job to be professional!

Theladyloriana Sun 24-Jan-16 21:12:00

Any need for quotes, birds confused

I'd complain and also you can get it from your gp- no stigma , private and frankly alot cheaper

goodnightdarthvader1 Sun 24-Jan-16 21:12:25

YANBU, he sounds like an asshole.

Ain626 Sun 24-Jan-16 21:12:38

Sounds like he treated you unprofessionally. I see the point of having to talk to you about contraceptive options, etc. (even though you clearly understand them!) But it sounds like the way in which he addressed the whole situation was ridiculous.

Condoms are, on occasion, going to split. The fact you were using one shows you were using contraception and not simply being 'careless'. And even had you been being careless I would expect a professional to explain the cons of this and to advise on contraception methods in a professional way.

I would put in a complaint.

byebyebirdy Sun 24-Jan-16 21:14:05

Its not the chat I mind, I realise theres side effects he needed to tell me about but it was more one of those 'not what he said but how he said it'. I didnt think the tossing of the leaflets into my shopping basket was particularly professional.

I might complain. Probably should.

ouryve Sun 24-Jan-16 21:14:42

Hell no. Not oversensitivehmm

The way you were treated was extremely indiscreet and unprofessional.

FadedRed Sun 24-Jan-16 21:14:59

Very unprofessional Pharmacist. I would advise you to complain about this.
Yes, they are required to discuss the side effects etc, but not to act in a judgemental fashion and you are entitled to a professional response and to have your 'privacy and dignity' respected.
However, I would not have asked the assistant in the open shop, but asked to speak to the Pharmacist in private. They are supposed to have a notice up to inform customers that a private area/ room is available.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Sun 24-Jan-16 21:15:37

I would complain. This is not on.

But for further reference, if I have sometihing potentially embarrassing I wish to discuss, I request to speak to the pharmacist privately first. Then once we're in the consulting rooms I can speak without feeling embarrassed.

Iggi999 Sun 24-Jan-16 21:18:06

I would be wary about switching to the pill with a newish boyfriend, unless you're planning to use condoms as well of course.

MsMarvel Sun 24-Jan-16 21:18:45

Ive had a bad experience getting it before, where i needed it twice in one month. (not ideal but i was dealing with a break up and being a bit of a wild child)

Pharmacist refused to give me it, telling me that if i was going to be so careless then i would need to just wait and see because he didnt think it could be taken twice in one month.

I went to my local family planning clinic (at this point it was 3 days after unprotected sex) where a lovely nurse gave me the MAP and was shocked at mt treatment from pharmacist.

Some of them can be judgemental dicks, but rise above it and be happy that you have done the safe and sensible thing by getting it in the first place

Iggi999 Sun 24-Jan-16 21:18:57

(Pharmacist was BU, meant to add)

HermioneWeasley Sun 24-Jan-16 21:19:46

I'd complain too.

Melonaire Sun 24-Jan-16 21:22:08

If you can face it please complain. Him behaving like this might mean some poor woman going without the medication they need because they're too embarrassed.

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