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AIBU?

...to ask those that had an 'easy' and 'amazing' birth how the hell they managed it?

243 replies

stumblymonkey · 24/01/2016 10:10

Hi,

I'm shamelessly posting here for traffic.

I hear these stories of women who have had 'easy' births or 'amazing' birth experiences.

Are they urban myths? Or reserved for child #16 when your vagina is stretched to water slide proportions?

Did anyone have a great birthing experience with DC1 and if so.....what do you think you did, if anything, that I could steal?

OP posts:
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theycallmemellojello · 24/01/2016 10:12

I think that if there was a trick to eliminate the paid of childbirth it would be common knowledge! Sorry.

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Wolfiefan · 24/01/2016 10:14

I was lucky. I think that's the key.
No birth is ever going to be easy but my two were a walk in the park compared to other stories.
I stayed at home as long as I could. I used relaxation techniques and TENS. I went to hospital and had a lovely calm water birth. I didn't have any expectations or a rigid birth plan. I was prepared to go with the flow and see how it went.

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Bunbaker · 24/01/2016 10:17

Mikne wasn't "amazing", but compared to most people it was relatively easy.

However, DD was less than 6lb in weight because I have a unicornuate uterus and had a high risk pregnancy. The fact that I got to 38.5 weeks was nothing short of a miracle.

I had a show in the morning, my waters went at 2pm and after a labour where I used tens for pain relief DD was born at 8pm. Many months later I bumped into the midwife who attended my labour and she remembered me because it was a textbook labour and she told me that they didn't occur very often.

By the time DD was 6 weeks old my body didn't feel like it had given birth 6 weeks earlier. Oh, and I was 41.

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sootica · 24/01/2016 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 24/01/2016 10:17

Luck. With DC1, I had a small, well positioned baby. I also naturally have a quite wide pelvis. My labour was quick and uncomplicated. I found the pain easy to manage because it was never overwhelming and I knew I was making good progress. Some of the natal hypnotherapy techniques I has learned were useful too but I know that if labour had been longer/more tiring they wouldn't have been as good. As it was, I didn't need any pain relief and I did describe the experience as 'amazing'.

With DC2, the baby was back to back and had her hand by her face. That labour was more complicated and much much more painful. I was lucky the first time, that's all.

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SweepTheHalls · 24/01/2016 10:17

Luck Grin

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AllOutOfNaiceHam · 24/01/2016 10:17

My second and third births were amazing.
My second was pain free until pushing out a 38cm head in waters became a little difficult but it only hurt for a minute.
My third was not pain free, it was intense, stop start and long. But I felt safe at home and was in a very hippy mindset, and it was mindblowingly amazing.
If the pregnancy hadnt been so utterly shit beforehand, I would love to do it again.

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TooMuchOfEverything · 24/01/2016 10:18

I had a really shit birth with DC1 then a really good birth with DC2, it was purely and utterly luck.
In hindsight I might've asked for a different midwife first time as she and I didn't click but overall it was just luck.

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unlimiteddilutingjuice · 24/01/2016 10:19

Cesarian Section Grin

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Bunbaker · 24/01/2016 10:19

I didn't have a written birth plan either. I just had in my mind TENS, pethidine, epidural in that order, and go with the flow. I trusted the midwives to know what was good for me as they had far more experience than me in all things surrounding having babies. The NHS ante natal classes I had attended at the hospital were very good and as my labour progressed there was nothing I didn't expect, understand or was scared of.

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HighwayDragon1 · 24/01/2016 10:20

Yep, it was amazing, pretty painless quick awesome rush. It was entirely down to luck, I expect the next one to be awful,

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RubbleBubble00 · 24/01/2016 10:20

good mw. Good birth prep - I listened to hyponobirthing relaxation cd everyday during pregnancy with dc2, spoke with good my about mental prep for birth. I found being able to stay semi in control and not lose myself in the pain made a huge difference

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nutellacrumpet · 24/01/2016 10:20

My first birth was at home. Midwifes were here but they let me do my thing. Was just mind over matter - like with any pain. You just get in the zone and remember that the pain is only temporary. I just kept thinking this pain is constructive and is my bodies way of telling me it is time to do this. No stiches, no pain relief. Midwifes were gone within an hour after birth. 2nd birth was even easier and quicker.

I believe most of a birthing experience is about how you think. Obviously there are exceptions... mums or babies that are poorly etc.

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Tangoandcreditcards · 24/01/2016 10:21

I have "popped" out 2 DCs in under 4 hours. 30mins active labour for DC1 and 3 pushes after 8 hours of painless contractions for DC2. Not ideal "experience" with DC1 as hosp sent me home when I thought he was coming but they didn't believe me, but pretty much as easy as labour gets, physically.

My mother had 5 v straightforward labours (I was a 20 min BBA myself).

So I'm afraid I think the answer is to inherit it... But if I have one tip it's to relinquish control to your body, and trust that "baby will out"- although I realise that's an easy thing for me to say...

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JOEYDOESNTSHAREFOOD · 24/01/2016 10:21

Luck? Two great pregnancy/labours and recoveries. I won't be chancing my arm on a third.

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MsVestibule · 24/01/2016 10:21

I'd heard so many horror stories, that giving birth to my first child was a lot easier than I expected!

  • I stayed at home as long as I could (8 hours) which I think helped. I was 9cm dilated when I got to the hospital, had gas and air and although I did have to have an episiotomy, it was all over in two hours.
  • During contractions, I breathed in through the nose and out through the mouth deeply, counting each breath. Somehow it really helped to know that each contraction (for the first few hours) was ten breaths, so once I got to seven, I knew it was almost over. Honestly, that's the think that helped me the most.


Obviously this is only my experience. Your's could be completely different, but I'm not sure I'd describe any birth as amazing, apart from the end result!
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KateSpade · 24/01/2016 10:21

I had a two hour labour & no pain relief!

I think mine was a combination of things

DD only weight 5lb11 & I was very active throughout, I walked miles everyday.

The fact that I have/had endometriosis helped because normally my periods left me in agony, I've been used to being in a lot of pain that I couldn't do anything about iyswim

Good luck op!

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MiddleClassProblem · 24/01/2016 10:22

After 2 days of painful contractions I had an easy and amazing birth... Epidural

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MissWimpyDimple · 24/01/2016 10:22

Luck and genetics I think.

Had DD after approx 45 labour, waters had broken around an hour before that. No stitches etc etc.

She was early but not tiny. I completely just let it happen. No input from me and no screaming either. Swore a couple of times though!

My mum and maternal aunts and grandmother have 8 similar births between them.

Who knows though. I only had one, the next one may have been a nightmare.

I do know a lot of people feel much more in control second time?

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MillionToOneChances · 24/01/2016 10:23

Luck. Keeping moving helps though.

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SitsOnFence · 24/01/2016 10:24

Luck, genetics and the position of the baby.

The only one of these that you can do anything about is the position of the baby, and even then it's mostly beyond your control.

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edwinbear · 24/01/2016 10:24

Dc1 left my pelvic floor in tatters (and a front and back prolapse as well). So terrified was I after an awful birth with him I paid for an amazing independent midwife for dc2. Her skill, the hypnobirthing we practised in the run up and the fact there was no muscle left to hold dd in once she decided to come meant she was an easy and amazing birth. I was bloody owed one too after the mess ds left making his entrance into the world Grin

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MrsLeighHalfpenny · 24/01/2016 10:24

Both mine were pretty straightforward and quick. DD2 shot out but has been a little bundle of impulsiveness ever since.

I sense a degree of competitiveness over birth stories. If birth was as horrendous as some people claim I doubt anyone would ever have more than one child.

Which isn't to say some women don't have a very hard time.

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DelphiniumBlue · 24/01/2016 10:26

Luck, and genetics - all the women in my family had quick and easy births.
I think relaxation techniques and visualization helped, as did the fact that a midwife I randomly encountered socially days before ds1 was born, talked to me about enjoying the birth. Until then I hadn't realised that this was possibl! I do think that feeling in control is vital, listening to your body and working with the contractions.
Good luck.

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60sname · 24/01/2016 10:27

Luck! Also reading birth stories on MN to manage my expectations Grin

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