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to be worried my kids won't be able to buy a house

(36 Posts)
lemonbanana Sun 24-Jan-16 09:15:57

I know it's silly but I worry so much I've nothing to leave them even though I work loads, does any one feel similar?

OurBlanche Sun 24-Jan-16 09:21:24

No. My grandparents couldn't afford to buy a house and felt no guilt about their kids. My parents (baby boomers) could only afford on when DSis moved in with them and they got a 3 way mortgage and they felt no guilt that I couldn't afford to buy a house. That I can no (at 50) is because we had 2 good salaries and live outside the SE. We rented for decades.

Your kids will do what most people do, rent.

YAB Silly. It is not yours to be guilty about.

chanie44 Sun 24-Jan-16 09:26:36

Yep, definitely. We live in London and whilst our area is relatively cheap, gentrification has begun.

I'm not worrying about it now, as its a minimum of 20 years away for my children. My likely plan is move to a cheaper area to release equity to give the children some money for a deposit.

My mum released some equity from her house for me and my sister for our deposits, so I want to do the same.

lemonbanana Sun 24-Jan-16 09:39:26

I feel I shouldn't have had them as I can't afford to help them

MrsLeighHalfpenny Sun 24-Jan-16 09:41:05

House owning is a particularly British thing. Renting is the norm in many, many other countries, and has its advantages.

MrsLeighHalfpenny Sun 24-Jan-16 09:42:48

Renting has many advantages over buying, and is the norm in many other countries.

MrsLeighHalfpenny Sun 24-Jan-16 09:43:07


Stanky Sun 24-Jan-16 09:43:19

We rent, and our dc might rent as well. So long as they have a roof over their heads, it doesn't really matter much.

Throwingshade Sun 24-Jan-16 09:43:36

I think you are being melodramatic. There are people on here whose children are disabled or ill. Imagine worrying your child will never grow up or never be able to work or live independently.

We live in London so I know exactly what you are saying but get it into perspective.

It's ridiculous to say you 'can't afford them' because they can't afford a house hmm


Why is people's only goal to own a house?

I have a 5yo DS and it's never occurred to me to stay up at night worrying what will happen in 20-25 years time.

I think about his health and his happiness and his education.

And I have never once thought that I couldn't afford him, because quite frankly it's not my job to help him buy a house if he can rent one.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 24-Jan-16 09:51:50

How old are your children?

Stop worrying about stuff that is out of your control, there will be a lot of adults in the future who won't have the means to get a mortgage approved.

lemonbanana Sun 24-Jan-16 09:54:18

Yeah mine are disabled which is one reason I'm very worried about their future but I'll shut up smile

BathtimeFunkster Sun 24-Jan-16 09:58:28

In countries where renting is the norm tenants have more rights than they do in the UK.

Gildo Sun 24-Jan-16 09:59:03

I actually worry about the same thing op. I worry I will never own a house to leave for my ds and that he will never have his own house for his family when he grows up. It's a natural thing to worry about. Don't know why you are being told you are being silly.
Just don't get yourself into a state about it, and remember all the things you do do for your kids!

Kennington Sun 24-Jan-16 10:03:42

I guess the worry is because renting can be so insecure in the UK.
I feel for you but one poster is right, your children could have much worse challenges.
Also up north is no where near as crazy and they could well afford there if necessary. It is just london and the SE that has gone completely mad.

Ughnotagain Sun 24-Jan-16 10:04:36

You feel like you shouldn't have had them?! A tad melodramatic maybe!

Obviously if they're disabled you might be more worried about their future. But nobody knows how things are going to be in 20 years. Don't panic.

lemonbanana Sun 24-Jan-16 10:14:37

We do live up north. I feel a lot of guilt as things changed quite dramatically recently and it was my fault but the future they should have had they won't. I feel very guilty as my friends are providing for their kids with house deposits and weddings and university help and I can't do that so obviously I question if I should have had them, maybe that is dramatic but it's how I feel and that's it really.

TheHouseOnTheLane Sun 24-Jan-16 10:17:39

As a long term renter I HATE it when people say "Nothing wrong with renting" and "People abroad rent all the time and there it's the norm"

Renters in the UK have hardly any rights. It's massively disruptive when you have children to be told "We're selling..."

Then to go through the stress of finding another house in the same area so your DC aren't disrupted.

Peevedquitter Sun 24-Jan-16 10:19:19

The fact that they have disabilities will obviously make you worry about them far more and understandably so.

On a personal level I'm not worried because neither my parents nor DH parents have ever assisted us with money. I am not especially planning to assist DS money wise even though we are well off. I suppose I don't want him to be lazy or self entitled. We do assist some hard up relatives that suffer from ill health.

DS has had a paper round since he was 13 because we wanted him to learn about hard work. He gave both DH and I £10 in a homemade Christmas card informing us that it was an entire weeks wages for each of us.

MidniteScribbler Sun 24-Jan-16 10:20:01

DS is four and I do think about his future. I have a bank account set up for him which will likely be his future home deposit, but I won't let him know about it. I want him to actually work for what he wants in life (whether that be a home, or other choice), and will decide in the future what to use it for. I hope it will be a nice surprise for him that will help him after he makes his choices.

BinaryFinary Sun 24-Jan-16 10:21:52

I'm worried I might never be able to buy a house

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel Sun 24-Jan-16 10:26:25

In countries where renting is the norm tenants have more rights than they do in the UK

And that is one of the problems. Its all very well Dave et al talking about getting people getting people on the housing ladder, but why is owning a house the be all and end all? There is nothing wrong with renting in other countries so I really dont get why it is here.

I rent as do a lot of my friends and I suspect that my children will too.

Babymamamama Sun 24-Jan-16 10:29:12

Am buying a flat aside from our home mainly with the view of dd having options when she flees the nest. We are by no means wealthy but I think it's the most helpful thing we can do for her. Even if the mortgage isn't completely finished by the time she is of age, she could take over the mortgage, or sell and get something else. I also save all the child benefit (into a trust fund). I've always wanted to build up reserves for uni or training should she need it. There are some things parents can do even in these hard times.

cluecu Sun 24-Jan-16 10:33:08

I was thinking about the way renting is more 'acceptable' in Europe (for want of a better word) as I see a lot of positives to renting as well as buying (have done both). I wondered though, what it the situation when people in those countries reach pension? Are the rents particularly cheap or are they able to save a large pot throughout working life due to lower rent? Or are pensions much better? confused

whois Sun 24-Jan-16 11:10:11

PMSL at this:

Am buying a flat aside from our home mainly with the view of dd having options when she flees the nest.

There are some things parents can do even in these hard times.

Believe me, if you can afford a deposit and a mortgage on a second property, you are by no means experiencing 'hard times'.

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