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Found out a casual gentleman friend has a wife, wwyd

(38 Posts)
Neaogeen Sun 24-Jan-16 08:39:36

Someone I see regularly and have a good time with, has started unloading emotionally.

I said last night that he had a wife, I kind of thought he did have, but didn't want to know. I pretty much told him I don't want to hear it and its none of my business.

However I'm feeling pretty guilty this morning.

I know I'm not doing anything wrong, and he is as he's the married one but not sure I could meet up with him again and that upsets me sad

Ways really?

abbieanders Sun 24-Jan-16 08:42:32


Actually, he's not your friend anyway, he's a user.

OddBoots Sun 24-Jan-16 08:43:24

You don't need us to answer this, do you?

You haven't directly said you have been sleeping with him but it sounds like you have been more than honest friends - he is married, you would be doing something wrong having a relationship with him, you need to break contact.

I know emotions make that difficult but it is still pretty clear cut.

ScoutandAtticus Sun 24-Jan-16 08:47:06

He's not a gentleman for a start. He's a cheating arse. Run for the hills OP.

KoalaDownUnder Sun 24-Jan-16 08:49:06


Since when does 'I'm not the married one' = 'I'm not doing anything wrong?' hmm

I think you need to stop seeing him, now that you know. Otherwise you will be very much 'doing something wrong'.

KoalaDownUnder Sun 24-Jan-16 08:50:07

(Everyone's moral code is different, but you asked for opinions and that's mine.)

WeAllHaveWings Sun 24-Jan-16 08:51:15

The minute you knew he was married and never told him to f*€% off you started doing something wrong.

Life's too short, don't waste your time and self respect on him.

MrsH1989 Sun 24-Jan-16 08:52:10

Sleeping with a man you know is in a relationship is wrong.

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Sun 24-Jan-16 09:05:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Neaogeen Sun 24-Jan-16 09:06:05

Just to confirm I have not agreed to meet up with him again since I found out about the wife.

Now I know I would feel a bit in the wrong sleeping with him again.

I know I should just block and move on as no good will ever come of it, but its hard. I never thought I would be in this situation. I always silently judged people that were, but its different now I'm ijn it.

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Sun 24-Jan-16 09:07:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Neaogeen Sun 24-Jan-16 09:08:19

I'm not OK with this, my morality campus is going off like I'm in a scrap metal dealers with the magnet turned on. It's been going on for about 8-9 months, makes it difficult to move on.

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Sun 24-Jan-16 09:10:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vestandknickers Sun 24-Jan-16 09:12:37

Walk away.

GruntledOne Sun 24-Jan-16 09:13:09

He's been lying to you for 9 months, FFS. Surely there's no debate here?

And you wouldn't be "a bit in the wrong" if you slept with him again. You would be completely, 100% in the wrong.

ProfGrammaticus Sun 24-Jan-16 09:14:57

You've been turning a blind eye to it for a while, by the sound of it.

Move on. Block him. No good can come of this.

londonrach Sun 24-Jan-16 09:16:52

Op you with a man who has lied to you and lied to his wife and you asking what to do. Step back op and view this situation as if a friend was asking you wwyd.

NerrSnerr Sun 24-Jan-16 09:20:18

Block and ignore. Why would you want anything to do with someone who would fuck around behind his wife's back?

MrsAmaretto Sun 24-Jan-16 09:25:25

He has lied to you. Why would you be friends and trust him?

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Sun 24-Jan-16 09:27:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RubyRoseViolet Sun 24-Jan-16 09:29:05

If you genuinely didn't know he had a wife/partner then he is a lying, cheating git and you will be much better off without him. You know this. If you had an idea that he was in a relationship (how can it not come up in 9 mths) you've been silly to ignore your suspicions but now you do know you have to move on or risk causing more hurt to yourself and his wife.

whatsoever Sun 24-Jan-16 09:30:42

He is more responsible as he is the married one but if you carry on seeing him knowing he has a wife, you are not blameless. Wave bye bye, put it down to experience etc

SmellyFartado Sun 24-Jan-16 09:47:31

By continuing to see/sleep with him, you are doing something wrong as you are condoning his behaviour and adultery.

Dump/block/tell him to go fuck himself/etc and then find yourself a better partner and relationship based on honesty and respect.

londonrach Sun 24-Jan-16 09:48:29

Forgot to add op as he has lied to you and his wife you dont know if he has lied to a third person..... Get yourself checked for sti.

QuiteLikely5 Sun 24-Jan-16 09:53:49

Do you like being second best? Do you like to be kept as a thing to stick his dick in? Do you like being a secret and a dirty one at that?

Lying to you for nine months? Tell his wife

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