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Am I being precious or was this mum an arse?

(105 Posts)
Coffeecreamers Sat 23-Jan-16 22:22:20

My DD 7 has poor motor skills, can't ride a bike to save her life and won't try many physical activities because she is embarrassed that she is not good at them. However, she is good at riding a scooter and think she has a sense of pride travelling to school on it because it is the one thing she can do.

Yesterday, she rode in as normal and going up a steep hill so was working harder than normal and I heard a little girl a couple of years below walking with her mum saying 'she is really not good at riding a scooter is she, mummy?' Her mum replied ' No, Tabitha you are MUCH better at riding your scooter than that her aren't you? and then continued to discuss why Tabitha was much better on the scooter than my dd. I just upped my pace because I couldn't bear dd to hear them and thankfully she didn't.

To be fair, the other mum would have had no idea my dd has problems as she looks completely average, was probably just building her own child's confidence and she wasn't saying it for my dd to hear but if my nt child had said that about anybody, I would have told them it wasn't nice and to be quiet. I would say it wasn't kind to tell others they are not so good at things whilst boasting how good you are. I felt like catching up with her after drop off and telling her she was a complete arsehole for saying that in earshot of my dd incase she heard but didn't obviously. I'm beginning to think I am precious. But both my kids are complete pushovers with other children too. Starting to think maybe we need to toughen up?

NattyNatural Sat 23-Jan-16 22:24:49

Mother sounds like an arsehole. Also she is making it acceptable to her daughter to be one to

ghostyslovesheep Sat 23-Jan-16 22:25:00

yanbu I don't think - I hate parents who boost their own child by belittling others

My response would have been to say to Tabitha - 'Darling we can't all be great at everything - maybe that little girl hasn't had as much practice as you - but it's a bit rude to point it out - oh look a dog'

Vaginaaa Sat 23-Jan-16 22:25:09

She was an arse. You don't build someone's confidence by putting someone else down. You're definitely not being precious!

InspectorMontalbano Sat 23-Jan-16 22:26:06

Don't worry about it. Raising your child to be kind is far more important than scooter skills flowers

AlwaysHopeful1 Sat 23-Jan-16 22:27:19

It sounds like the mum was just trying to agree/encourage her Younger dd. It was absolutely nothing personal against you. It would have been wrong to have had words with her. Sorry about your dd, but doesn't sound like she did anything wrong.

katienana Sat 23-Jan-16 22:28:14

I would have loudly said "you are such a nice kind girl dd what a shame there are some rude mean children who haven't been taught good manners like you".
I probably wouldn't have, actually, but I'd have had a good think about it.

CaptainCrunch Sat 23-Jan-16 22:28:16

I vote arse.

crispytruffle Sat 23-Jan-16 22:29:03

The mum was being an arse!

CakeFail Sat 23-Jan-16 22:29:43

Another vote for arse.

CocktailQueen Sat 23-Jan-16 22:30:48

Arse. You don't praise your dc by encouraging them to criticise other dc! Horrible.

hazeyjane Sat 23-Jan-16 22:30:53

As Vaginaa said, you don't boost someone up by putting someone else down.

We should teach our children to be kind, belittling someones ability isn't kind.

plantsitter Sat 23-Jan-16 22:31:50


BanningTheWordNaice Sat 23-Jan-16 22:31:53

:O she was an arse. You can tell your kids they're good at doing something without explaining why someone else is bad at something.

MammaTJ Sat 23-Jan-16 22:32:39

A normal response would have been 'Tabitha, she might be better at reading than you, we are all good at different things'.

She was a superior mum, that annoying breed that should not perhaps be allowed to breed! grin

She was an arse!! YANBU!! Not at all!

Leelu6 Sat 23-Jan-16 22:34:34

YANBU, but how do you know Tabitha is NT? Just asking because you said you would have pulled your child up on it, had she been NT.

cuntycowfacemonkey Sat 23-Jan-16 22:36:19

She was a twat.

Scarydinosaurs Sat 23-Jan-16 22:37:58

Arse. And it's perpetuating a cycle of arse.

AlwaysHopeful1 Sat 23-Jan-16 22:37:58

and then continued to discuss why Tabitha was much better on the scooter than my dd

blushsorry op I completely missed this part. Just read it as she's encouraging her dd. I change to her being an arse.

Soooosie Sat 23-Jan-16 22:38:37

The mother should have said 'oh Tabitha different petiole are good at different things'

You could have said 'nobody likes a show off!'

BaronessBomburst Sat 23-Jan-16 22:38:56

Another arse vote.

JenEric Sat 23-Jan-16 22:40:45

Yep arse

Twowrongsdontmakearight Sat 23-Jan-16 22:41:10

Yup. Complete arse.

eastwest Sat 23-Jan-16 22:42:52

You are not precious. you are a normal person and she is extremely rude and selfish - and teaching her child to be so too!

NoMoreGrimble Sat 23-Jan-16 22:42:56

Total arsee.

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